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Quelling my anger seems to be helping.

AJanie's picture

Hey everyone. I re-read all of the responses to my last post over the weekend and took something valuable out of each of them. I don't want any of the lovely ladies who responded to think I was just going to go full on submissive mode and let DH walk all over me. I was feeling very vulnerable last week and it was good to read the empowering posts to remind myself that a marriage is GIVE and TAKE. Not give and give and give...

I have really been working on modifying my bad behavior. For example, DH got a pretty pathetic paycheck this week (because of the nature of his job, bad weather and other things effect his paychecks). The old Janie would have probably cried, told him I can't take it anymore, struggling while his bitch BM lives like a queen, and walked out slamming the door shut. Then texted him 50 times during the day stressing out about money.

Instead, I told him we are not saving anything or chipping away at any debts -- like he said we would be "this season" and I am going to let HIM figure out how to fix that... which may mean going without his frivolous food and beverage purchases. Then I took action and called cable and canceled the "extra" channels he ordered without asking me a few months ago. I felt better. I then called him and told him I could have canceled cable all together because I do not watch TV, I read, but I know he likes his TV so I compromised (for now). Yay for me.

To all of you, this may seem like a very small thing, but for us it is a big thing. We never worked constructively through things, it was always a blame game.

We had the skids last night and SS continues to sleep in his own bed. SD wanted me to hang out with her before bed so I grabbed 2 books off her shelf and called DH in and told him he could read to her. Then I went to bed.

I WILL save my sanity.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Just curious, have you ever tried to use an antenna? When I first moved into my house nearer to town, I used one and got over 20 channels. We did end up with Directv but only cause my DH wanted to watch Foxnews. It's not too expensive right now, I may rethink if the bill goes up to "regular" rates.

AJanie's picture

I have not! Certainly something to keep in mind. When I called today I got them to take $35 off the bill and I was pleased with that. I am constantly looking for ways to cut costs. I would like to have a stress free Christmas this year. Perhaps that is just wishful thinking.

ESMOD's picture

With an antenna, I got all the local stations plus their "secondary stations". There were also some stations that had DIY type stuff and also some old movie and TV show channels. Since you get the local networks, you get whatever sport events are on network tv too. The antennas are not too expensive and will pay for themselves in a month depending on your cable bill!

If you have internet, you can also get netflix subscription instead at under 10 dollars so you have a few more options.

I think about cancelling all the time, but hubby wants his cable news.

AJanie's picture

Thank you I will share this info with DH. He likes his cable news as well, along with certain fishing and nature shows that I personally can't stand.

ESMOD's picture

You know, my MIL talks about how she would cut it off if it weren't for X Y or Z show. I asked her point blank if she had never seen the show or known it existed would she miss it?

I kind of get the news channel but the other stuff really isn't "necessary" to life right? I was paying almost 100 dollars a month at one point on TV. PLUS internet. That was ridiculous. It's under 40 now but I think it will go up at some point.

A lot of shows can be viewed online. Or, he can go do yardwork or change the oil in your cars.. etc.. I am sure he could find a way to keep busy and entertained that don't involve reality shows..haha

AJanie's picture

My bill was $192 this month. Yup... ONE HUNDRED NINETY FUCKING TWO.

It was initially $137 ish... then DH added channels and SS orders movies. Well, the channels are now gone and SS is not to order another movie without our permission or I am pulling the TV privileges. So sickening. Glad it is lowered but if his paychecks continue to suck I absolutely will get rid of it. I hate TV and barely ever watch it.

hereiam's picture

:jawdrop:

I have never had cable, or satellite TV, just a good 'ol antenna. There are some shows that I would like to see but honestly, the last thing I need to do is sit my ass on the couch watching endless hours of, "Flip This House," or whatever.

I would consider Netflix but I would NEVER pay $200.00 a month for TV. That is more than my electric bill in the summer and gas bill in the winter. Crazy!

ESMOD's picture

To be honest, since your DH isn't holding up his end of the financial contribution "this season". I would just get an antenna and cut off the service. Tell him when his earnings recover and debt is reduced X amount, you can consider adding it back. Spending over 100 on something that is not a requirement of life would be a no brainer.

Alternatively, call back the cable company and tell them there is NO way you will continue to pay over 100 for this service. If they can't get it to around 50 bucks, you want it cancelled. They may reduce the bill. You may have to cut back on receivers too.. maybe only have the one central TV hooked to it.