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I am FURIOUS...and potentially not rightly so...

anchorlizard's picture

Submitted by anchorlizard on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 5:01pm

so I figure this is the best place to come for feedback, in a safe way without causing waves.

So, a week ago today, SS (20) took his car (that is actually DH's, that DH lets him drive, and pays for insurance on-another story though. The other two cars we have were bought, and paid for, and carried on my insurance, by ME) down to stay with BM in another state. He gave no notice before he left, came up with some excuse about a job lead, and rolled. Every day since then, he has told DH "I will come back tomorrow."

I told DH last week that I guessed he quit his job up here. DH said of course he wouldn't do that, he needs the money. Now after a full week of him saying, "I will come back tomorrow" or "I will let you know what is going on tomorrow" I have had enough.

I have to take one of the two cars on the road for a business trip tomorrow. So DH uses that as an excuse for why SS needs to return-because he needs the car. They devolve into the who should use what car and why.

My point, and what I am angry about and not being heard for, is that SS shouldn't have the freedom to do things like this. If he is not paying any of his own bills (and I do mean any) and he isn't paying for his car and associated expenses, he doesn't just get to take the car to another state for any amount of days, at the end of every one, saying,"I'll bring it back tomorrow" and then not bringing it back. ITS NOT OK.

Also-don't use MY needing one of the cars as the reason why he should be back. That is neither here nor there.

I think I have license to be as angry as I am....am I out of bounds, and this really isn't that big of a deal?

Comments

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Submitted by Helena.Handbasket on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 5:08pm

Um, this would be a problem for me. The insurance is in my name, he isn't paying for anything so no he gets NO say so. He doesn't get to just do what he wants.

Work on getting the car here. Once he gets back tell DH you are taking your name off of that vehicle. If DH wants SS to have the vehicle whenever, then he can pay for it all.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 5:08pm

Personally, I'd be just as furious.

I don't care how old a kid is, if the car is not in his/her name, regardless of the privileges in place with being able to use it, he/she should ask permission from the rightful owner of the car before taking off with it for an undisclosed period of time, especially out of state.

TheBrightSide's picture

Submitted by TheBrightSide on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 5:14pm

Another example of a Bio Dad not wanting to "hurt anyone's feelings".

He shouldn't have taken the car without asking. Period.

He's been raised to be "entitled".

Its likely it didn't cross this kid's mind that he could be putting you or DH out...or that he didn't have the right to take the car in the first place.

I'd be pissed.