How much freedom should a 14 y/o have?
I am wondering how much info a 14 y/o should give her parents when she is going "out"? My fiance and I dropped my SD14 and her friend off in a town about 40mins from home last night. She told him she was seeing a "show", but she was dropped off in front of a Sub-Way. BTW my kids are all grown now ages 23-30. I always made sure I knew where they were, or at least asked for as much info as I could, before they went somewhere. I asked my fiance if he knew exactly where she was going to be...this ended up in a disagreement between my fiance and I. SD lives with us. I think there should be some kind of responsibility there as to where she is going to be...what time she needs to be picked up or taken somewhere, etc.
There have been a few times when she springs things on us...I need a ride NOW type deals. Seems like she has run the roost here with that kinda stuff. He did tell her today that she needs to let him know ahead of time if she is gonna need a ride...YAY!!
(Her BM lives about 10 mins away and altho they have been divorced for 2 yrs, she was residing with them til about 2 mos ago. I moved in with them about 6 weeks ago.) Her BM does help with some transportation...altho not much. Any replies would be appreciated!!!
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Seriously..I remember being 14 and that's the age where they can get into trouble. Like pregnancy trouble...among other things.
It's hard because you don't want to smother them, but there are bad things out there. You have every right to talk to the parents of the kids who she will be hanging out with and meet who she's friends with. Regardless if you trust your kid or not, there's always a potential for her getting into trouble..peer pressure is hard to ignore at 14.
You also have every right to search her computer and look at her internet activity. Watch who she's chatting with. Read her texts. I believe in some privacy, but it's also important to know what is going in with your child/step child.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost
You know...
I was just watching COPS (Yes....I watch COPS:) and there was a caseof a thirteen year old girl drunk out of her mind at a beach with friends. The girl refused to give the cop questioning her parents name and contact info. A sober friend finaly got got the drunken girls phone and gave the cops the info. The drunk girl attacked the friend for giving the policeman her info slapping and and punching her. She then resisted arrest and screamed profanitites while kicking,screaming and spitting at the cops hauling her off to the patty wagon. All the while she was wearing a BARELY existent bikini.
The first thing that popped to my mind was "where the hell is this kids parents and WHY WHY WHY do they not realize their daughter is totally out of control?" Parents do not make their childrens busines THEIR business nearly enough!!!!
Another great example is the Columbine Massacre. These teens had been planning the attack and building bombs and storing guns in their bedrooms for MONTHS and the parents were totally oblivious. Well at least Jr. had his privacy I guess......pfft. Whatever. Be your kids parents and not their best buddies for weepping out loud.
Having a baby does not make you a mother.