I am a bit slow it seems
OMG. Big light bulb just came on!!! BM2 knows that if DH doesn't have a will made up when he dies, everything would go to probate. Where I could just provide our marriage certificate and VOILA! Everything goes to me, as his wife/widow, and job done.
She thinks, ACTUALLY THINKS, that when DH makes his will (when we make our wills together)...he will then state in his will that she gets xx amount/xx%. She really believes that she will/has convince/convinced DH to hand over most of everything to her. Therefore, she will "win" against me.
With laws as they are and probate, she knows she has no chance. When DH writes his will, she actually truly believes that DH will leave something to her. His will is her chance in her cracked mind.
Holy light bulb moments, Batman!!! I JUST realized what her logic and reasoning behind this really is.
I am a bit slow.
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What is her IQ? lol
What is her IQ? lol
Pretty high, shockingly
Pretty high, shockingly enough. She is, when she's in England, a very highly qualified and highly paid mental health nurse.
I know, the irony in that is just too much to put into words.
What... * jawdrop *
What... * jawdrop *
Could it be that she’s
Could it be that she’s thinking DH will give it all to SS and as his mother she’ll be able to take him back and have control of the money?
^^^^ DING DING DING!!! ^^^^
^^^^ DING DING DING!!! ^^^^
We have a winner. That is part of her logic. Though she did say to DH last year that SHE should get more because she's known him longer than me and they have a child together. Right out of the vulture's mouth.
Okayyyy.... Well I mean, if
Okayyyy.... Well I mean, if we're playing that game, DH has known his parents longer, and MIL birthed him, so I guess everything goes to them...
Well DH knows himself the
Well DH knows himself the longest technically so now there's no one to leave anything to
Buried with him, just like in
Buried with him, just like in ancient Egypt. LMAO
The obvious answer is to
The obvious answer is to spend it all beforehand!
CUCKOO*scratch_one-s_head*
CUCKOO*scratch_one-s_head*
It may be one degree less
It may be one degree less greedy. She may be looking for him to put her child with him in his will so that the evil stepmother won't spend it all and end up with the kid getting nothing from his dad.
In a way, I don't 100% disagree that parents should look out for their kids in some way when there are new spouses (who may have other kids) in the picture. My father was one of 5 sons.. 4 full and one half son. Well.. the lion's share of his estate went to the stepmother who kept that along with money from her next marriage and when she passed it went to her children.. none came back to my father or his other brothers with the exception of the one who was her bio with my grandfather.
Of course there are always wrinkles in each situation. Like in my situation, my DH did not come into the marriage with much of anything. I owned my own home and have been the much better wage earner for most of our marriage. Now, we have property together that my DH probably has much less in monetary contribution. But, he has contributed in other ways. Now, we don't have shared kids.. and I have no kids.. but if I did, I could see wanting to leave more to my own bios because I have had a greater hand at amassing the wealth.
But, there also is the matter of the remaining spouse that might need access to the deceased's financial assets to live and care for themselves.. through an illness or whatever. Certainly, they would want to remain in the home I would imagine in most cases.
But, it is good to also see how an estate will be distributed because it may vary (in cases where no will exists). In my state, my skids would get a good size portion of my DH's assets if no will is in place.. but we have one that leaves it all to me.
I do see what you're saying
I do see what you're saying ESMOD. Normally you'd be right, had one or both of us come into this marriage with anything. We both got married with a suitcase each as our worldly belongings. We are painfully and slowly trying to rebuild our lives. We have no assets from any previous anything.
It is more likely, as someone else commented, that she's looking for SS to inherit money so that she can grab onto that. That has already been thought of. When FIL dies, DH's three children will inhereit something. His two older children are adults so they receive it directly.
Since SS15 is a minor, with a greedy BM always circling like a vulture, his inheritance will go into a trust. It will remain in a trust with someone named as the trustee. That name will never be BM2. When DH dies, I will already be looking after him. I don't particularly like SS but I'm aware it's not his fault he has AS and a greedy BM.
Even as an adult, SS will probably never have a grasp of money. Someone will always look after him. I told DH that, when he dies, to name SS35 as the Trustee because I do NOT want to deal with BM2. Not my burden to bear.
Point being - the only one greedy and evil enough to spend any of SS's money is his own "mother".
I think she may still be
I think she may still be looking for her EX to specifically put his son's interests in his will.. so the greedy SM doesn't spend it all.. (sarcasm on the greedy part haha).
It probably is a good idea for him to lay things out and make plans so that his son does have someone looking out for his interest since he is not able to do that himself. But, I would leave the EXW out of that equation..lol.
Already thought of and will
Already thought of and will be taken care of. DH will be trustee and then SS35 will take over when DH passes. Never ever will it be BM2.
Or the greedy SM
The greedy SM would be too
The greedy SM would be too likely to run off with the cabana boy from the pool or spend the entire lot on good wine and bad men.
Hmmm a cabana boy and some
Hmmm a cabana boy and some really good coffee and we've got a deal
A friend from long ago (we
A friend from long ago (we aren’t in touch anymore) lost her hubby.
In his will he’d left a large amount to his son with his mother (Gma) as the trustee. BM had been out of the picture for years, she was a drug addict and had given up her son. In fact DH went to jail for about 6 months (neither of these parents were great) and the son stayed with my friend.
Once he’d passed, guess who shows up loving her son and wanting him back? Saying that DH had threatened her to make her stay away. Son was Thrilled his mom wanted him and off they went into the sunset. I think he was 10-11 at the time.
Until Gma wouldn’t release any of the money. BM tried taking her to court, wanted to use the inheritance to pay the lawyer!
She lost, gave the kid to Gma and disappeared again. Leaving behind a broken, angry 14-15 year old.
That is disgusting.
That is disgusting. Unfortunately, I think this is EXACTLY what BM2 will try and do. I think it's why she stills half-assed tries to be in SS15's life now. So that she can fool DH into thinking she's MOTY. She's not fooling anyone.
She will fight tooth and nail to get that money. When DH is Trustee, she'll nag him to death to add her name. She knows she won't have a snowball's chance in heck of ever convincing SS35 to do anything for he. He can't stand the woman. Even if DH made SS35 trustee from the start, she'd nag DH to change it so that SS15's PARENTS are trustees...as it rightfully should be. I can just imagine it now.
Some women should just never be able to have children.
Some women should just never be able to have children.
That is BioHo. She was FURIOUS that she is no longer DH's beneficiary for his 401K. Um, WTH should you be?!
These women make no sense!!!
These women make no sense!!!
That is BioHo. She was
Dear BioHo, a 401k has to follow federal rules. In the US, by federal law, a 401k passes to the current spouse unless the current spouse signs off. Do you really think Aniki is going to sign so you can inherit the 401k?
How does she know he's
How does she know he's writing out his will?
She doesn't know a darn thing
She doesn't know a darn thing about what he is or isn't doing about a will.
What she DOES know is that FIL is very sick and likely to pass soon. She knows that DH will inherit everything as he's an only child.
She knows that I'm his wife and she is not, which gives her a 0% chance of getting anything if DH dies with no will.
She is convinced that DH will write his will so that either 1. He leaves her something directly or 2. He leaves something to SS15 without it being protected so she can get her greedy hands on it.
Neither one is happening. SS15 will inherit but it will always remain in a trust with a named trustee. That named trustee will never be BM2.
She's just desperately hoping to get her hands on some money. That is what her whole world is alllllll about. She kills me. Never in all my days on this planet would I dream of demanding my exH to leave me money in his will. I'd die penniless before acting so disgusting.
She actually told you that
She actually told you that she thinks, expects your husband to leave her money in his will?
Dont you think it is time for your husband to fix address this with her?
He did last year. Point blank
He did last year. Point blank to her face. You just can't change crazy. Though she was very quiet for about 6 months. Which is a world record lol
How stupid
She might be a highly trained professional but it seems her sense of entitlement as gubm trumped that.
She really thinks he would leave her money in the will? Why does she even think that now that they are divorced? What is in their divorce papers? In the UK there is usually a part that says neither of you have a claim on the other after divorce is settled. Is it that she thinks if he were to die before SS is majority age without a will that she can then claim on behalf of her son as he will still be a dependant? Thats a possibility. Also she will probably be wanting your DH to leave all to his son and if he is a minor at that time then BM will get control of the money as his mother.
Just out of interest, the laws here in europe are very different to UK and US laws. It is determined by the government. Inheritance is divided automatically between the surviving spouse and any children. 50% for spouse, other 50% to be divided between the children. This is how the law sees it. In my DH's case, when his mother passed he was supposed to inherit one eighth of his mothers share of his parents wealth, Land, home and any savings, cash, investments. He is one of four children. In the end he got nothing but the inheritance tax bill. I was outraged to say the least. Not about him not getting money but they sent him a tax bill for money he had not and would not receive. I just couldn't understand how that worked. It doesn't happen in the UK.
What had happened was that his father had 'fruitful use' of it all and it went to him. In my mind thats fine, in the UK it would all have gone to him but the tax bill coming to us was unacceptable. We would have had to take him to court to get the money to then pay the tax bill. In the end he decided to pay the tax for all children regardless of ability to pay, and the idea is that then comes off the amount they receive when he passes away. So, that was dealt with.
What I don't understand is the law behind this system. Law says that percent of the money belongs to the children but in fact he gets to keep it and have 'use' of it. I get that in the case of property, he can't then be turned out of his home by horrible people who might want the cash and not care. BUT the use is 'fruitful' use, this mean any cash, investments and savings should not be touched but he gets the interest on them. All fine. BUT what if that said parent then spends it all before he passes and there is none left... you have then paid tax on money never received. Makes no utter sense to me at all. Also it means that kids cannot be disinherited (or skids). For that reason DH and I are looking into how to bypass that. He does not want his estranged adult daughter to get anything but it seems its very hard to achieve that under this system. Be glad you are in the UK.
*glad to hear that he is thinking of a trut for SS, without BM being in charge of it. Best way to go.
None of her "concerns" are
None of her "concerns" are for the benefit of SS15. As she said to DH: she wouldn't want it all to fall into the "wrong hands". Meaning me. Her gubm brain is convinced that she is more rightful to receive as she's known him longer and have SS15 together. Crazy never makes sense.
She isn't entitled to anything. DH flat out told her last year that SS15 will get a bit of money and it will go into a trust with a trustee. Which will never be BM2.
But she'll never let go cuz her cracked brain still things she has rights to her ex husband. She is the only one that matters.
The laws in Europe sound a bit screwed up. Good luck getting that sorted out.
I think the next time she
I think the next time she brings it up he should say FINE, I'll put you in my will. You'll get everything as long as you use it to look after SS and never bring it up to me again. I swear if I hear ONE. MORE. WORD. I'll take you out of the will!
Of course he would never actually do it but maybe it would shut her up for awhile.
Or it could make her hire a hit man, maybe not such a good idea after all.
I think she'd have DH offed
I think she'd have DH offed before you could blink an eye. Really bad idea lol
I know that DH's son thinks
I know that DH's son thinks that DH will inherit my assets (I'm older with no children) and that he will then inherit MY money from DH. He's so wrong. I've nailed this with a trust that pays DH a modest income, but other than that DH inherits nothing for him to leave to anyone.
I sincerely doubt if DH has mentioned any of that to SS. So SS is going to be surprised and pissed when he cannot get his grubby paws on any of my money.
Our BM is exactly the same
Our BM is exactly the same way, greedy about money. I swear though, it's more about stubbornness than the money itself. Our BM has no enjoyment of life. She's doesn't like good food or travel. She dresses like a slob. She hates sex. She does want an austentatious home though, even if she ends up losing it later in bankruptcy. But it seems like she likes getting things just for the sake of "getting", even if it is something she doesn't want or can't enjoy. Greed for the sake of greed.
When our BM saw DH's parents helping him move into his apartment on the opposite side of the parking lot, she saw FIL's beemer and said to herself, "I'm getting their money." When BM's GF said, "Oh, he's cute," that cinched it. And it doesn't matter how farfetched it is, she's going to get that money, dammit, she said it was HERS! It's the only reason she's sticking around. The ROI isn't going to be great though, because she sure is putting a lot of time and effort into this futile venture. It's absolutely crazy.