For years and years DH has told me I need to parent more like him. He has given the skids every excuse, does not keep track of what they are doing, was inconsistent on what he said/did, and has not been on top of preparing them for adulthood. He balked at any comment I made that was not all unicorns and rainbows. But he felt his softer approach was what was better and made the kids love him more/want to be here.

[Background: We got a second dog. It wasn't working. I had talked to DH several times about getting the dog assessed for aggression and get it more training. Nothing. Had to tell DH that either he find a new place for the dog or I was taking back to the shelter by X date. DH got BM to take the dog since it had started to bond with YSS. When she said yes, he fell all over himself getting the dog assessed and taking it to extra classes on his time and his dime. So, there's a bit of a bad history when that dog comes up.

DS left clothing behind when he packed for school. And I know the mementos he took and what he left and he left things he doesn’t want to lose. I don’t know for sure that he left clothes at XHs but I know he left mementos and some valuable things there, too. (Update: he did leave a little bit of clothing at XHs house, too.)

OSS left zero clothes here. He also seems to have taken only one or two mementos (but to be fair he’s less of a memento kind of kid).

DH has a habit of allowing anything and everything to interrupt he and I in whatever we are talking about or doing. Just when it's me, not when it's anyone else.

It's not that things are getting better but it's just that there have been fewer chances. Tonight OSS called out to DH as he was talking to me. Mid-word, not even mid-sentence, DH stopped talking to me, walked away, and took care of whatever it was OSS wanted. I get that the kid is going off to college, but he's not leaving tonight, and there's no emergency.