Need Advise - Do you Get Upset if DH withholds information because it will upset you?
The past year was a difficult year since we found out SS21 is a heroin addict and can only stay clean for about 6 weeks before he relapses. I pretty much disengaged from him in Nov when I knew he was using again. Took DH a bit longer to realize SS 21 was using again (I am pretty sure he starts as soon as he gets out of rehab). Coupled with the fact he is bi-polar it is not a good situation.
He just got out of yet again another rehab facility down in Florida (4th time) last week and now is living in a sober house (got kicked out of 1st one for smoking pot). BM wanted us to pay for this. DH said no since he pays his insurance, phone bill, prescriptions etc. Also we paid for a TON of money last year in rehab costs not covered by insurance and she did not pay a penny. We were very clear - one shot deal on paying for rehab not covered by insurance and a sober house.
Anyway - DH did not tell me what want down last week. Did not want to upset me - is this right? Not sure if I should get upset for him withholding information from me.
Part of me thinks DH did not tell because I would have flip out about the money grubbing, whack job of a BM who is a HUGE enabler in my opinion.
- karenemoy's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
dh says to me 'if you blow up
dh says to me 'if you blow up whenever i tell you what idiocy bm has done then i won't tell you anymore because i don't want you to keep getting worked up just because i vent to you about bm.i care too much to see your pretty face all red and angry over something we can't control.i like talking out my anger with you because it makes me feel better but i don't like upsetting you with it.i get that you're going to be upset about it but maybe we could practice not dwelling on it and ruining our evening with rants about bm.can we just vent and move on?'
that about sums it up for dh keeping things from me and why.lol i REALLY had to work hard to keep from making the venting session last for hours and hours.you can't fault the guys for not wanting to worry our pretty little heads about things their stupid ex-wives say.i don't think they exclude us on purpose although i'm sure there are exceptions.dh complains to me about things bm says and does all the time because he needs to get it out and express his anger.i'm his best friend so he needs me to help him deal with the anger instead of blowing up and compounding the anger.
if you really think he was doing it to keep you calm then I wouldn't be upset with him if I were you.but i would talk to him about it to see if maybe he can stop doing that.