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My new song- The Last Word by Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 9:11am

Mary Chapin Carpenter's
The Last Word

You can have it, I don't want it, and when you've got it, I'll be gone
It won't matter what you're saying when the damage has all been done

Can't seem to keep the faith, as if that's all I need to do
I'd rather walk away than take what belongs to you

You can have it, I don't want it, and when you've got it, I'll be gone
It won't matter what you're saying when the damage has all been done

checking in...

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 7:27pm

Still in limbo- process is gruelingly slow. Can't elaborate on all that obviously.

Still stuck emotionally b/c I don't recognize the man anymore. I don't see any glimpse of the one I forever bragged about on here as the most emotionally supportive and loving man I'd ever known. I guess MOW is the one that's reserved for now. She is getting to see all that passion, compassion, etc. All that caring only what she wants in life, just as he once treated me. Just as he once revered me.

progress!--Update!

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Wed, 06/02/2010 - 3:56pm

Well....SD's visit started something in me. Some sort of healing to know that 6 years of my life as her parent wasn't wasted. She does on some level love and appreciate my part in her life, and misses the fact that I was the one parent she could trust to say anything to, and I never over-reacted or yelled at her.

I am keeping that door open, but not attaching to how often she knocks on it.

Hmmmm.....surprise visitor

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 6:03pm

I was feeling blue still, but better since stopping the anti-depressant that apparently I didn't really need to take after all.

BS15 got off the bus, came inside and said, "SD's here."

I said, "NO WAY! Really?" He said she went to her friend's house two doors down so I forgot about it.

Then I heard "knock knock knock."

staring at the abyss

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 5:49pm

That's how I feel. I can't deal with this divorce. My second divorce. My second time as a single mom of a preschooler. I know how hard it is, no romantic notions of how independent and fabulous I'll feel. I was over that when I did it for 5 years the first time.

Then married 5.

Five single again? That frightens me.

I don't have thoughts of ending my life, more of not wanting to stay here and go through this part of it. My children keep me tethered to the earth most days.

I created a meet up group in my area for people who are trying to reclaim their lives in my city...

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Tue, 05/18/2010 - 4:55pm

The first couple members were friends of mine.

But 3 more and it was just announced on the site. Apparently I have hit upon a need for a support group. One lost a loved one, one's W left him and his kids, couple single moms, another former ST member I introduced to this site (who had to leave here when her DD found her blogs.)

All of us needing support to navigate through these tough times.

I wonder how many members I'll end up with. I'm excited about it. At least something good might come from this incredible loss.

I appreciate your cooperation in this request

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 11:23am

The baiting and insults of the recent posts are getting out of hand again. Any threads created to attack any member of this site will be frozen and or removed as they are against site etiquette and terms of use.
Any attempt to start a new related controversial thread by any member will be frozen as well, and forwarded to Dawn and Admin for final decision. I will be freezing comments on those already created, and removing any that mention a particular poster by name.

Let's get back to the SUPPORT part please.
Thanks.
Sita"

Called Colorado girl upon arriving at my yearly women's writer's retreat because...

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Submitted by Sita Tara on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 10:58pm

I thought I shouldn't have come.

I cried, she listened, and even though she was at work, she offered me the comfort of an ear, of letting me know I could leave in any form if it was too much- as in leave the whole retreat or leave a class if need be.

The woman who runs the retreat also had told me to use it in anyway productive- meaning just come to the retreat, go for a walk on the beach of Lake Erie, or stay in my room and drink wine. She gave me a partial scholarship so I would come, and not have to have a roommate.

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