We've been in MIL town thousands of miles from home for a week arranging her move to a nursing home. SHe hasn't heard from any skids in years. my kids call and send cards and letters and little gifts every few weeks or so. her own blood grandkids do nothing, they don't even acknowledge the money she's given them over the years for college and home downpayments. when FIL passed, the skids barely could find time to come to his funeral and only did it after i begged them and paid all their way. my kids, all took off work and got themselves to their stepgfathers town so they could be here.

anyway... skids have hurt grandma in a big way and she's hopping mad. she wants us to have the will changed (I'm power of attorney.) she says she wants ss29 to pay back the $10K gma gave her years ago that she never got so much as a thank you for, then split that money with stupidss25 and smommasboy22. and under no circumstances are sd or ss's to get one penny of her estate when she goes. she wants to leave them each $1 and be in their face. she also wants to leave my children a percentage of her estate and leave a letter to each of her grands explaining why. (ds 24, ds26 and dd23 love her, have traveled to see them, have gone out of their way to take her places when she's in town, skids have never done one thing to show they care about her.

as i'm going through hundreds of cards, there are probably 50 from my kids and their spouses while there is not one from either ss and only one from sd29 which is not a card or a letter but a photo of her baby without even a handwritten note, just a walmart photo card thing.

none of the skids acknowledged or responded to family reunion invites. none of them came to see mil when she was in town this summer. she is serious about taking them out of her will and leaving it to my kids instead of her own grands or even her own great grand kid.

I don't care about the money. We took skids out of our wills long ago. They'll get nothing from their dad or my will. they'll get no stuff and no memories. my daughter is dh power of attorney for goodness sake. his daughter hasn't seen or spoken to him in 9 months - since dragging home all the Christmas loot from our house.

so aside from the obvious issue, mil has quite expensive tastes and fil spared no expense when he was alive, making sure his beloved was surrounded by fine things.

since i am executor of dh estate, and he'll go long before i do, which is why i'm executor of mil estates and POA, i'll be the bad guy who has to tell the idiot skids they get nothing from gma. then when dh dies, i'll be the meanie who doesn't invite them to his funeral and doesn't give tem any of his or their grandparents things because they're assholes and both have said under no circumstance do they want those stupid 'children' to get anything.

so we're packing up thousands of dollars worth of very nice things that will go home with us, and never passed down to his kids. there are some things a little girl would love to grow up with someday, sd has a little girl.

IIIII think i should just hold on to things until after it's all over and someday their feud will blow over and they[ll be back in our lives and want some of these things for their kid. dh and mil strongly opppose this thinking saying the skids are adults who know right and wrong and should not get one thing, not ever, here or now or later and obtw if you ever give them anything you're fired (from the job of executor) instead, they want my kids to have teir family things.

i love the woman my mil is and i hope someday i can be as generous with stepgrands as she as been to hers. (my daughter has a stepson)

so, i just wanted to vent a little and get this out there but i forgot my actual question.