More of a vent ( apparently lots of vents this week)
This is more of a vent, or maybe journal.
In my other post I said how partner hasnt talked to SS in over a month. He wants to tell him about my cancer and I said no and that upset him. He doesn't really understand why. Because doesn't him keeping on asking me REALLY show that he doesn't understand, even if he says he does?? If he truly understood he'd stop asking. It's as if him telling him, for his own emotional reasons is more important than my feeling or reasons.
If it were me as a parent I would reach out to my kid and keep having lunches or do something fun. However he seems almost afraid to reach out?
I had the thought earlier, true or not, is it easy to blame me for things if he can use me as part of the reason for not reaching out. Why does he sometimes make snarky comments to me like, "You KNOW I want to still try and keep a relationship going with SS". My thought, well do more then FFS!!!! Why is this turned around on me?
Strange what I don't get is he mentions wanting to tell SS that I have cancer so bad but doesn't reach out to SS to keep the contact or diaglolue rolling. Why is he so afraid?? If they had a good thing going why did he stop?
He got SO emotional when we were talking about his kids and me having cancer. He's pretty hurt about his kids behavior and how they've treated him over the years. Some days I know he feels like they've hurt him so bad that he's *almost lost hope. It's been nonstop. They haven't appreciate what he or I have done for them they've been really bratty to us, for years. They've said horrible things to him, they've walked all over him. They've tried to manipulate him. They've yelled at him and I. They have no respect for him. He works a grueling job, late days always with the notion of having a nice life and home for them and they saw, or appreciated none of it. This is the worst part for him, in my opinion. It kills him. He feels absolutely horrible about this. He was crying and said to me, "I love my kids but I don't like them." I understand what he was trying to say. Their behavior and their issues have been really, really bad and they've treated him truly like garbage that was not important to them.
I guess I stay out of meddling or giving him suggestions other than not to talk about my cancer. I feel like he needs to figure this out on his own.
Partner will never do counselling with them. He won't, it's his personality and I know this. He would talk about doing counselling for months but he just doesn't want to do the research on the web and dial those numbers. In looked up once and easily found a group of social workers in the kids city that specialize in teen addictions and trauma... It was easy to find. I guess he either doesn't want to put the work in, nor he's passive or he's afraid or all 3..