Family movie night.. not so much.. advice?
Every other weekend we have all the kids - SS's 12 & 14 and my daughter who just turned 11.
The SS's, thanks to their bad influence older sister, have been waaaaay overexposed to movies and things they shouldn't have from a very early age so they prefer to push the limits on what is acceptable to watch and what isn't.
In the past, trying to decide what movie to watch on family movie night was a hellish debacle.. so we kind of put an end to it and just watched shows on TV instead..
3 weekends ago the kids wanted to watch a movie together, so I told DH to take the lead and pick it out while I ran upstairs and took a quick shower. When I came down he had picked out "The Internship".. I had reservations about it, but decided to give it a chance. Sure enough, not very long into it, after tolerating the swearing and crude humor, I called it quits for my daughter when the anal sex jokes came up. Her and I left the room and went into another to watch something else. Sure, I was a little miffed, but figured it was an honest mistake by DH.
Then last weekend, kids wanted to watch a movie again and I pulled DH aside and said "can we lean a little more to the family side of things this time?" - not bitchy, just like "hey, last time wasn't a good choice"..
So I go upstairs and take a shower and when I come back down him and the boys have picked out "Grown Ups 2".. We had watched the first one and it was ok - had the usual Adam Sandler humor and some sexual references, but wasn't bad so I figured we would give it a shot..
Again, I was wrong.. too many sexual jokes, the yoga scene where the guy is telling the girls to do sexual things and spank their butts.. just making women look like objects with big boobs and no brains..
Sure, for an adult this is ok and I can laugh at it - I'm not a prude, but for a just turned 11 girl.. nope. Not even close to being appropriate.
This time I was pissed and let DH know it. Sure, he didn't know it was going to be that bad - I get it. But when he found out it was not something for her to see, then what? Ok, fair enough.. watch the rest of it with the boys.. ok. Not going to expect him to kill the night, but where's the sense of protectiveness or "hey guys, this isn't something for her to see, so next time, lets let her pick it out since this has happened twice now on family movie night - sound good?"
Nope, none of that.. its like she is a huge inconvenience. Him and I got into it the next day and he said "well, I'm not watching some dumb animated cartoon and I'm not forcing the BOYZ to do it either".. Wow.. ok, she has watched star wars with them and even went to see the dark knight - it's not like she hasn't compromised and tried to come up a couple levels for the sake of family.. but ask them to do it and wow, god forbid.
Am I seeing this wrong? Too one sided?
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I am glad you agree.. They
I am glad you agree..
They basically took over like always and quite frankly, I'm sick of it.
You can't plan an activity everyone else will do because SS12 will make it miserable if it's not what he wants.. he's a jerk. Hate to put it like that, but it's true. Board games suck with him - especially if he isn't winning. Making a dessert - forget it, he will ruin that too. We tried to do Christmas cookies one year and he was a complete ass because of sprinkles or something dumb.. I can't remember exactly because it was so stupid..
I really agree with Rising.
I really agree with Rising. Now in your case bc of the last two times, I'd let your daughter pick the next movie out. At my place we take turns picking out a movie for movie night as long as its something everyone can watch.
They (meaning DH and the
They (meaning DH and the brats) won't watch it. They call them baby or girl movies. It's such bullshit.
It's not like she would pick out Cinderella either, she is well aware that they are boys and don't like that stuff.. see, that's what really pisses me off - she can see their side of it, and try to adapt, but they refuse to even try to come a little to her side of things.
And she has come up to their
And she has come up to their level to a point, but I'm not allowing it to a point where it compromises her innocence. I see the effects of what that has done to them and want no part of it for her.
Just the opposite - we have
Just the opposite - we have full custody of the boys - BM gets them every other weekend.
We only have my daughter 50% of the time.
One weekend all of them, the next weekend none of them.
If anything, it should be more geared towards her since she isn't here as often, but they won't see it that way as they are selfish and think the world owes them something. And I know your gut reaction is to say I just think that because they are my step kids.. no, even people biologically related to them share the same opinions of them so it's not just my jaded mean one sided view.
What a tough situation, your
What a tough situation, your DH needs to put his foot down for it to change.
She just turned 11. And
She just turned 11.
And sorry, but I disagree with it "not being bad at all" - when I see some sleezeball telling the women in a yoga class to "hold their hands like this (like they are holding a penis and jacking off a guy) and jiggle up and down" (while the camera focuses on their boobs jiggling) - then "turn around and bend over and smack your ass"... sorry, but my daughter doesn't need to see women portrayed as porn star sex objects.. she will be exposed to that crap soon enough by her peers as a teenager, I'm sure.. no need to rush it.
Haha, sometimes I put kiddy
Haha, sometimes I put kiddy movies on for the kids, but then SO walks in and I'm the only one left sitting there watching it lol
OMG, lucky you took your DD
OMG, lucky you took your DD out of the room when you did during the Internship, there's a rather lengthy titty scene at a strip bar, dry humping and all lol tis a hilarious movie, but I for one, as a parent would never watch a movie like that with my kids until they are ADULTS, NOT teens! 12 & 14 are still too young for that movie, IMHO.
It's incredibly disrespectful of your DH and SK's to turn 'family movie night' into something that makes you and the younger kid uncomfortable and excluded
If the 12 and 14yo are no longer into family movies appropriate for the youngest kid, maybe your BD can pick something, you guys watch that first and then the SK's can stay up and watch a movie of their choosing??
Yes, we pick based on what is
Yes, we pick based on what is appropriate for my youngest (turned 8 last week) MY skids also have been exposed to much older content that I would allow, both sd13 and ss10 have seen R rated movies, and watch stuff that when I hear makes my jaw drop.
I do put my foot down and say no.
On the plus side my skids and OH are all happy to sit and watch kid movies as well, and we do watch some teen and even things like Grease, I just take care with the picking.
We also watch a lot of 80's movies and TV shows - the kids love them.