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Venting

stepped.on's picture

SD5 got here about 3 hours ago and I already am wishing she was gone.. Or better yet, I wish I was gone. I hate when she makes SO stand in the bathroom while she tries to force out a poop. She can't do anything on her own and it is not her fault at all.

I am having such a hard time controlling my feelings of being out of control. I hate that I have to watch this. I feel like I am watching my perfectly good-intended SO selfishly fail her. He can't say no. He coddles her. When we bought her a bday gift she said it wasn't good enough and the wrapping job wasn't good enough. I told her if she doesn't like it I have a niece who would love it and when she continued to say it was no good I simply put it back in the bag and brought it away.

She started having a fit and was crying and feeling bad for herself so what does my SO do? HE SCOOPS HER UP AND CODDLES HER TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER. This is just an example and was not recent but it reflects the way she is always treated.

She is gonna grow up to be a manipulative bitch. OMG. I'm just venting.

Comments

rodgersmommyof 4's picture

I hope you feel better after you vented. It's hard to be a SM, but it's also hard on the Skids. They learn at an early age to manipulate and get their way usually because they are stuck in the middle of the drama. The older they get the harder it gets. Try to stay strong and supportive. Remember you're not alone.

DoubleUteeEFF's picture

If he's allowing it, or enabling her, it will not change.

My SD was the same but when she was 3-4 years old. I used to bitched to DH about the "babying". SD is very smart. I knew she knew what she was doing. But DH did the "she's only 4 excuse". No hunny. She is not stupid.

For example, since SD has been 5, she's stopped getting up in the middle of the night or asking to sleep with DH or him sleep with her. (She used to do this ALL the time and it drove me crazy!!)
She's now 6 years old and can sleep perfectly well on her own.
One night she randomly asked to sleep with DH and I and DH let it go and allowed her. It wasn't a big deal to me because it was a once in a blue-moon thing. And we watched movies ALLL night. It was a nice moment

WELL after allowing her that ONE night. She became a pain in the ass during bedtime begging and crying to sleep with us. She tried the bullshit "I'm scared by myself" pouty lip trick. She did this for two nights but after shutting it down quick she realized it was back to reality and goes to bed in her own room like a normal big kid 6 year old.

Daddy needs to set boundaries. Tell her no. Push him if you have to because he will be creating a monster.
I don't care if SD had to walk around with a poopy butt until she realized daddy wasn't going to be there to watch her / wipe her anymore.

It's hard but ultimately if dad is allowing it, he's to blame. Not your SD. Many times SD here would be a brat then pout or put herself in a corner hoping we would have sympathy for her. I had to remind DH to ignore her. She's looking for positive attention after just misbehaving. I will not be enabling that behavior in my house.