Anyone else think this way?
Sometimes I daydream what it would be like to be single. No skids to have to deal with. No issues with DH because of the skids. No issues with DH and my own bio.
Sad thing I have only been married for 6 months 
I love my husband. We have a good life. We get along well. He is good to my BS. I dont really have to deal with the skids or BM.
Ever since we got married, I have just felt this burden of the skids. I am disengaged and before the wedding I felt okay with how things were with the skids. Ya know, it is what it is but I am not going to let it affect my life.
Now I am just like- man I want a day, one day where the skids and their b.s. isnt on my mind. I just want a day where I dont have to worry about DH saying "Skid is coming over" and then I have to stress about the visit and how uncomfortable it's going to be. I want to go out of town and not worry about a skid coming over and stealing from me or going through my things. Coming over and playing mini wife with DH because I am out of town.
I dont want to deal with DH bitching about my BS and my parenting. I have seen how DH parents his kids and how they have turned out... ummm yeah I wouldnt really consider him a reliable parenting resource. Or the bitching about stuff my BS does but when his own kids have done the exact thing, then it's an issue.
And sometimes I wonder if he is jealous of BS in that I am a good parent to him. DH grew up with an awful mother who treated him like crap when he was younger. So I am the complete opposite of his mom. I think he forgets how I am as a mother is how you SHOULD be. Or that he's mad that I am able to give to my BS what he hasn't been able to give to his kids. Well sorry I didnt have 4 kids back to back when I was young and broke and poor. Sorry that BM was a horrible mom to your kids when they were younger, that is who you CHOSE to have kids with. Don't blame me or BS. Now I have no proof he feels this way, but I just wonder about it.
I would love to just deal with my house myself. DH is a hoarder. And he has what I say is "White Trash tendencies". I know I know not nice to say but it's the truth. If we lived in a dump he wouldnt care. I am the complete opposite. I take a lot of pride in my home. So I am constantly fighting with him to keep the house clean and clutter free, to not make the yard look like a dump, to upgrade stuff around the house. It's exhausting and I am tired of it.
And the thought of never ever having to hear a skid's name or see thier face. That would be awesome. I just have so much resentment towards everything. It's like their is ALWAYS an elephant in the room with DH and I because of the skid situation. Then add his family in and I feel like I am always having to defend myself.
I love my DH. We are going through a rough patch right now. He has been distant since we got back from vacation but we were sick so I have chalked it up to that. And of course because it was princess YSD15 birthday last Saturday and ever since he came home from seeing her he has been a dick. Typical.
Just venting here... thinking out loud... Obviously I love my husband and their is lots of good. Just right now everything is bothering me and on my nerves....
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Agree about the BM part... as
Agree about the BM part... as far as skids, I don't know I wish/fantasize that it was an all or nothing thing, like they either live here full time or not at all. 50/50 is hard for so many reasons.
I agree 100%. I don't know
I agree 100%. I don't know how long I would have lasted under that arrangement. We have had EOWE for 7 months now and it is worlds better than the 50/50 nonsense. That woman was in our lives daily. Now, partially because of the schedule change and partially because we had to block her for excessive and abusive texts, we only deal with a few emails a week (still abusive though)
Ideally I think if the skids
Ideally I think if the skids never existed. BUT I usually push that thought out of my head because that is too harsh. So I guess I think of a life without the skids is a life without DH because the skids are always going to be his kids. It would def. help though if they moved away. OSD lives out of state so I rarely worry about her. Wish they could all move away.
"Ever since we got married, I
"Ever since we got married, I have just felt this burden of the skids. "
"Now I am just like- man I want a day, one day where the skids and their b.s. isnt on my mind"
YES. YES. YES.
I love my husband. We've only been married a little over a year. We are still great together but things with skids have been very very different since we've been married.
I know it's wrong but sometimes I'm even a little bit glad his disgusting ex is PAS ing the kids out. I don't really mean that, I hate seeing someone do that to the man I love, BUT those thoughts sneak in every once in a while and sometimes I just want to tell him to give up. Just let her have them. They aren't worth the trouble she causes.
Ya know I think that
Ya know I think that sometimes too. But I agree very addictive. Plus there is such good advice and good coversation.
I often fantisize about me,
I often fantisize about me, my DD and my 2 furkids. In a little apt, just us. Always clean, eating veggies at every meal, no more SS or DH or BM drama. Yup, I do.
16 years together.... And I do dream of it all the time.
I feel the same way. No
I feel the same way. No advice though
Sometimes I have found though that after I fantasize that DH and the skids are away, that I appreciate coming home to him more, because I DO love him... just not all the crap that comes with it.
Confession time... I can't
Confession time... I can't say anything about wishing I had ran regarding the skids. Here's how delusional I was...
I wanted to date someone with kids. I was young and my pool of guys my age were not anyone I wanted playing house with my kids or setting examples for them. Older guys who weren't married yet and had no kids, I don't know I guess I felt like I would always worry that they "settled" for a ready made family because they couldn't make one on their own. I wanted to date a dad who understood that staying in and watching toy story for the 175 time was more important to me then bar hopping/drinking/socializing, that spending money on myself wasn't really a priority, that understood how much I loved my children. DH was all of those things and more, he is a good father and loves his kids. I think I was definitely clouded by what I thought a blended family could look like, but I don't think I would have continued our relationship if he were a crappy father- for example, the SOs discussed here whose skids don't shower all weekend
These are the reasons I too
These are the reasons I too wanted to date someone with kids.
Before we got "stuck together" by buying a house; things were good. We did family stuff and I didnt mind the skids too much. I thought I could handle them. I thought things were going fine. But we were really in the honeymoon stage. And of course once you move in together and make that kind of committment it changes (for me anyways) how you see things and what you REALLY want or what you can and can not deal with.
Me too, seeing skids
Me too, seeing skids one-three times a week was pleasant, living with skids half of the time... a little different and adjustments for everyone. Overall, I can't complain about the skids, most of their annoying or undesirable traits are normal kid things. My biggest issues are with the lack of balance/2 in 1 families in my home, the BM and the mixed feelings around that, the general dynamics- decisions are not mine and DH's, most decisions aren't mine at all (it's not a "control" thing for me but more just a feeling less than in my own home) interference, looking over my shoulder/watching what I say type things. Being here makes it better for me because it puts my problems into perspective vs. some much bigger ones and lets me know I am blessed, but when I need advice/support, posters here are great as well.
I think about it a lot. I
I think about it a lot. I often fantasize about living in a nice little apartment. Just me and my little dog, the way it used to be.
* Everything nice and clean and decorated the way I want.
* No one to bitch at me if I'm too tired to take a walk after work.
* No food particles in my office chair and popsicle wrappers stuffed down the sides of the couch.
* No dirty dishes left lying around.
* No complaints about the food I bought/cooked.
* No intrusive calls/texts from BM or skids.
* No insane amounts of money funneled from my household to BMs.
* When I come home, the place looks the same as when I left.
* No more always being second to somebody else.
I don't have kids of my own, so all the kid and BM bull**** would go "pouf" if I were to move out. Honsetly, it would be a joy to never see or hear about BM and the skids ever again.
In rereading what I just wrote above, it occurred to me that I used to have it all, and I gave it away to marry a man with kids.