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She's trying really hard to get him back

Boston Gisele's picture

Gah! I could really just scream right now. I absolutely hate BM. So if you read my previous entries, you will know that BM has cancer and she claimed she wanted to be friends and everyone thought I should because she has cancer. Then everyone thought I was overreacting to the fact that she set up a breakfast when his mom was visiting with his family, her family and then then her bf and me and of course them because she has cancer and she needs to have the support of both families in case anything happens. While now she is sending my fiance messages all the time like come to this party and the two of us can hang out back together or we're going to this person's house tomorrow so you should come over and hang out with me. I don't care if she has cancer, she is crossing the line and she knows it. Obviously cancer hasn't been a life changing event for her because she's still a B****. And don't even try to tell me that because she has cancer she just wants to spend time as a family because they were never a family!!! They dated for like 3 years and broke up and she just happened to be pregnant and tell him 3 months after they broke up! And I don't think any of you can honestly say that if your boyfriend/husband ex was sending him messages like that, you wouldn't be pissed off too. I'm not sure how long this has been going on either. I'm not worried about her on his end because he's like no I don't want to go to the party and no I don't want to hang out, it just pisses me off that she won't leave him alone. It's been 5 years since you broke up! I know some people have a hard time letting go, but obviously he doesn't want to be with you. Don't you get it??? ugh.

Comments

stepoff's picture

DPWB is right. It's your DH's responsibility to let her know that her texts are out of line. It's sad that she has cancer, but cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence anymore. She could live for another 50 years! Your DH needs to tell her to stop, and mean it.

Stick's picture

Boston Gisele - I remember your story... although I haven't re-read your blogs.

And while I stand by what I believe I had written to you earlier, regarding giving BM some leeway with reference to the children, etc... In this particular case, I agree with you!!

Having cancer is NOT an excuse to do whatever you want, say whatever you want and live without regard to other's feelings.

Honestly, if it were me... and I'm pretty straightforward, I would ask BM outright (with DH there)... Why do you think this is acceptable? Why are you texting these things? We understand you are going through a difficult time, and want to be able to make any time that you are ill easier on you, and on the child. BUT this is inappropriate behavior. Please talk to your grief counselor or your cancer doctor or someone about this. We want to be there to support you, but DH and I will support you TOGETHER.

If I remember correctly, BM is definitely dying, right? Like I thought that it was pretty clear she would not make it. And that is why I really wanted you to "give her a break" regarding being part of the family and coming to that party, or letting her go to some party (details??) . BUT even if she is dying, someone needs to tell her to stop.

She could be throwing herself at your husband out of fear of dying alone. Do you guys have any mutual friends that can help BM put this in perspective???

IslandofDreams's picture

Doesn't BM have a boyfriend/fiance?

Sounds like it's time to make a phone call to the fiance ! }:)

But seriously, your DH needs to control this situation. Cancer or no cancer, asking him to "hang out" is inappropiate. HE should be telling her that. He should be telling her to call her BF for that.

Is she seriously dying from cancer ? Many people survive cancer these days.

Boston Gisele's picture

She's not dying. Originally she told everyone it was a dire situation and that it didn't look good, but I guess the doctor's are optimistic now and she will have to undergo some surgery, but not as much as she originally thought.