BM Says SO Tried to Sleep With Her
I am so confused and I can't even think straight.
BM sent me an email that says that SO tried to sleep with her twice. One occassion was close to two years ago, and one more recently.
In the email, she has peppered it with things that are true, including information about me that is very personal that there is no way she could have known without SO telling her.
I truly do not know what to believe at this point, and my heart just hurts that I am being dragged into this crap. Because, whether or not its the truth, the only reason she told me is because she has a contempt hearing looming over her head.
She claims that SO just showed up at her house on a day when he was in her area. She claims that she has text messages from him asking to come to talk about the paperwork related to SD. It is true that SO was in that area on that day. He says that he did not go there and did not try to go there. I, of course, have not seen any text messages. I also remember talking to him, and think that he even went into work afterwards but, of course, there is no way to prove that without him getting paperwork from his job that show he went into work.
SO is upset that I don't believe him 100% and I am upset. He says that OneNighter is "getting what she wants" since we are both so upset. It's just a really, really ugly situation.
I don't even know where to go from here. I don't even know how the truth can be proven. I guess if she does show up at Court with text messages from SO asking to meet her, that may be proof, however part of me feels like I recall him saying that he may try to meet up with her to get her to sign the paperwork.
I don't know. I just don't know. I haven't responded to her email and don't plan on responding to it.
This is so unfair!
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Don't bother responding to
Don't bother responding to her email. Or maybe let your SO respond. The more important issue is whether or not you trust your SO. If not, it's time for counseling or for you to move on. A relationship without trust is not one worth keeping.
Instead of replying to the
Instead of replying to the email I think I'd ask him to call her on the phone and ask her why she sent you the email and I'd be listening to the conversation. You'd have to get him to do it on the spot though to make sure he wouldn't convince her to lie for him and she'd have to think you couldn't hear the conversation.
I totally agree with the not
I totally agree with the not responding and the trust issue part.
Ummm I think everyone is
Ummm I think everyone is speechless.....
What does your gut tell
What does your gut tell you?
How did she get the information about you if he didn't tell her? Did you ask him? What did he say?
My ex tried to sleep with me a few times after he remarried. It was a lot like you described. He found excuses to come by and once there he'd put the moves on me. He said things like how he missed me, how he was so attracted to me and he told me things about his wife that he really shouldn't have told me. I ended up telling her eventually, he denied it and she said she didn't believe me...until he admitted it in front of both of us. She didn't leave him though.
On the other hand, she may be lying to make problems between you.
I'd go with my gut.
My gut says I don't
My gut says I don't know.
They have NEVER had a realtionship. They slept together ONCE. SO has been to her house on SEVERAL occasions so it seems weird that he would make the moves on her once two years ago, and then once recently. So, it's not like they had a romantic relationship he could miss.
The information about me, she obviously got from him. The other information she also got from him, but mentioning that you're having a problem with someone at work in passing or that you're going to be in a certain location in passing is pretty benign. I mention things like that to my XH.
I have never really mentioned this on this board, but I work in the legal field, have specialized legal knowledge, and am friends with attorneys. I am able to help SO do things, and have. Without me in the picture (SO cannot afford an attorney on his own), she stands a much better chance in Court.
Also, if she can totally cause a conflict with him between now and the next hearing, she can make him look bad. Right now she is in contempt of Court for MULTIPLE violations. She knows this, so it's hard to say.
My mom told me that she would be hard pressed to believe SO is that much of an idiot considering all the b/s that she has put him through. Additonally, if he wanted to cheat, he could cheat with ANYONE and that he would show a pattern of cheating with me. That just isn't there. I have never doubted his faithfulness to me.
Still, who knows? I don't put anything past anyone these days.
Oh I'm sorry!! Thats
:jawdrop:
Oh I'm sorry!!
Thats terrible.
Well my vote is that she is probably making it up. SO or your Skid could have told BM those things in passing and she is twisting it around to "prove her point".
I wouldn't respond, but if you must, get the proof.
I had a similar situation, when I asked for the proof she said "I can't send it to you." or a variety of other excuses as to why she couldn't send it. One time she did "forward" me a message that was supposedly from BF, but it was fairly obvious it wasn't him (ex: putting "u" when he always puts "You").
I think its just one of the tough things about being a step. The crazy ex always wants you apart
One of the so-called attempts
One of the so-called attempts happened two years ago (like I said in the original post) but the thing is she didn't tell me that. I already knew about her drama at that time, so when she planted the truthful seed, I knew the time period but she tried to make it seem like it was recent. I dunno...
We will see if she shows up with "proof" in Court. The thing still is that whether or not he tried to cheat on me is irrelevant to the child custody case. I can't imagine a judge allowing that as an argument for a woman who hasn't showed up in Court five times.
This woman, who says she can't take care of her own child, who asked me to help her now does this? :jawdrop: Really?
There is no good in people.
Correction, there is no good
Correction, there is no good in her.
I think we are all sane people....
Have SO call her, and
Have SO call her, and confront her while you listen on the other extension....don't let her know you're listening, and just by her responses to his questions/comments you'll have your answer...if he refuses to call her while you listen, theres your answer...good luck!
our bm flat out told my
our bm flat out told my husband that she likes the way he treats me and wants to get back together with him and try. i'm all. okay what do you want to do honey. he laughs,....then says not just no HELL no! some bms have fantasy that could never work in reality. they seem to need payback, and lucky stepmoms are a desirable target. pathetic really. 10 years and about 35 live ins later, she's still single. she likes to call my husband crying about the kids. they are 17 and 20 :sick: really getting old....