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I hate to be like this.....

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:15am

But Wink I hate buying SO any gifts that I know will go straight to SD. I mean it can be anything like a sweatshirt my kids bought him from the college they attend. Now all of a sudden SD loves it so much and wants to wear it all the time. It is way to big for her but she loves it because it is so comfy. Or the digital camera I bought for him she has pretty much taken it over. He doesn't seem to mind but it bugs me to no end. His new Iphone that she picks up and never puts down the whole time she is here. Even though she has an Ipod touch which is basically the same darn thing. I just wonder if I am alone in feeling this way, am I just being a control freak?? I mean his gifts he can do what he wants but to me he should want to have things that belong to him for his use.

Which brings me to Valentines Day, I really want to get him a Kindle Fire. He loves to surf the net but doesn't do much else that would require a computer. So I thought the Kindle Fire would be perfect. Now my issue is that this would be immediately taken over by SD. She would load it down with all the BS games like she has done to his phone. I don't know just looking for others perspective on this. Thanks!!

Comments

the_stepmonster's picture

Submitted by the_stepmonster on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:21am

I feel the exact same way. My SD's will refuse to wear their own clothes and inevitably wear all of DH's sweaters that I buy him. He never even had a sweater before he met me and now they live in them when they are over. Not only that, but my DH has an iPad that he won at a company event and he absolutely loves it. I mean always on it. Except of course when the SD's are over and they take it over and take it up to their bedroom and we don't see it the entire weekend. I've stopped buying him things that they could potentially take over but yes, it does bother me. I think it's the whole entitlement issue again. It's as though they think that if it's in our house it belongs to them also and dont bother asking permission to use anything.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:34am

Oh I hear you when I got my Ipad SD was practically drooling over it. I let them both know this was a "myPad" lol meaning that it was mine and no one was allowed to use it. I keep all my banking and personal stuff on it I don't want SD privy to all that information.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:31am

Buy him a jock strap and say it was the only thing you could think of that SD wouldn't borrow permanently.

the_stepmonster's picture

Submitted by the_stepmonster on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:50am

So weird. SD once asked DH for a shirt that smells like him that she can take back to BM's.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:32am

It drives me crazy :? I do think it is the entitlement when I was a kid my parents stuff was off limits even their bedroom was off limits. SD used to just waltz in our room to look for nail polish or hairspray etc, to take and use if she felt like it. I moved everything that could be shared to a common area everything else is off limits. Our bedroom is now off limits because she thought it was fine to climb into our bed to watch TV whenever she felt like it. NO WAY!! I flipped out on SO for that one so he told her our room was off limits she pouted and cried but he stood his ground.

Stepdown I can't believe he would give away your artwork :jawdrop: that is so wrong!!!

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:33am

I'm with Stepdown. Buy him MEN gifts. Forget the Kindle. She'll take it over. I got my husband an Ipad and whenever SD's at our house she's constantly playing with it. It used to bother me more before, now I really don't give a damn anymore. Get him a subscription to a beer club (if he drinks) or workout gear if he's into that. What I hate MORE is buying SD gifts and the BM using them. We got her an Ipod and the BM uses it to go to work. We got her a digital camera and yup, you guessed it, it's in BM's purse.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:37am

True!! SD is not allowed to take any of her things to BM's because they either get taken over by BM or she "forgets" to bring them back. We won't even let her take movies to BM's anymore. She would just help herself untill I got tired of looking for a movie to watch and it was gone.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:38am

This also reminds me, it burns SO's ass when he see's BM wearing something that SO bought for SD. Now I'll just laugh.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:42am

Ooooh this JUST happened to me!

I'm aggravated about this. I bought SO a kindle he wanted SOOOOOOO badly two years ago for Christmas. Guess who I see with it over this christmas break? SD. She took it home with her.

:sick:

I'm changing the type of gifts I get him. I like the "man gifts" idea.

calm retreat's picture

Submitted by calm retreat on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:36am

Yep, same here. And what really gets me bothered is she doesn't really like anything I give her directly. Say I give her a jacket or something, it just gets pushed to the side... If it's a gift from me it isn't cool enough for her. If it's from DH it's golden.

the_stepmonster's picture

Submitted by the_stepmonster on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:41am

DH's wardrobe consists solely of short sleeved tees and button up work shirts. He is always cold though so out of the blue I bought him a nice hoodie. He had it in the car and because it was in the car SD figured "what's his is mine" and took it with her when he dropped her off at her mom's. Haven't seen it since. Of course, DH doesn't care.

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:52am

I think it is a normal "territorial" thing. I got annoyed over the holidays when my DH asked my SS17 if he wanted a calendar that we had two of. I got TWO of them so I would have one and HE would have one....not for SS to get one! They WERE free, but still!! But it was a non-issue because SS didn't take it.

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 12:32pm

It drives me batty, too. SO has both an iPod and MacBook, but with strict instructions that they are not for the skids to use. They have a computer and have no business touching our laptops. Anytime one of them asks, I tell them to go use their own. They also ask to use his cell phone, and I tell them to use the house phone. "But it's deaddddddd." Maybe they should learn to put it on the charger once in a while? At one point when we had three skids with us every other week, I ditched the cordless phones and put a wired one in the kitchen. Problem solved!

I say, go ahead and be The Bitch and tell him that you did not buy him these things so that they could be handed over to the skids. He should respect the fact that you were thinking of him when you picked it out. That you bought it for him, and not as a community gift. Also let him know that he should be teaching them respect for other people's belongings. How would they like it if you took over their favorite sweater or toy and treated it as your own?

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 1:01pm

Can you just grab something of theirs that dh got them? Their ipod, laptop, and take it in your room and disappear with it. If anyone says anything about it-I would just say you didnt think they'd mind since they borrow dh's things you get him so often?

StepOnMe101's picture

Submitted by StepOnMe101 on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 3:54pm

My husband lets his 8 year old daughter play on his phone constantly and even though its not MY phone nor did I buy it for him as a gift, well...our mutual account bought it, but it bothers me. I asked him to use his phone the other day when I had forgotten mine at home, and he says no. OK so an 8 year old can play a game on your phone, but I can't send an email for 2 seconds?

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 4:49pm

Oh yeah SO does this also. SD takes control of his phone 24/7 when she is home. I finally figured out the rat. I don't know why this didn't dawn on me before but BM would call SO with these crazy rants. Spouting off about stuff she had no way of knowing about. I always knew SD would spy for her but I didn't think she was going through SO's text messages. That was a few months ago and he stopped her from using his phone for about 3 weeks. Now its back to the same. NO calls from BM yet but SD constantly "needing" to use his phone. Mind you she has a phone and an Ipod touch which is the same as SO's Iphone minus the calling feature. So there is no need whatsoever for her to "need" to use SO's phone!!!