Well, you've been dating this guy a year and already you are caring for his daughter.  You ARE a babysitter.

What is attractive about this situation to you? You are 25.  Go find a man with no children and start your own family.   And don't say he's "amazing" - this situation will probably only get harder and worse for you.

You're not a parental figure, you're a very kind sweet babysitter who seems to care more for the tot than her father does.

With the wishy-washy schedule, I assume there is no actual custody order in place.... if there is, the parents aren't following it. You can't really force your BF of eight months to change , but you definitely can inform him what you will and won't do, what your expectations and boundaries are. If he can't (or won't) take you and your feelings into consideration ,well then it's time for you to move on before you get even more attached to the child.. 

Spend some time reading around here. The site is full of young generous loving females such as yourself. They jump right in , take on the parenting role and duties and try to please way too hard. My advice? Move back out. Let BF and Mom work out the schedule, the babysitting and all the hard parenting lifting.. Date him if you want.

Let him have to stand up to be the capable parent he is suppose to be. 

Him not wanting to do fun activities with you and his child should be waving red flags on how things would be if you stay, marry him and have children by him. 

Have you figured out how much money is being saved on daycare since you are watching the SD?

You do not have to be BM’s or your boyfriend’s on call babysitter. If you weren’t in the picture, they’d have to find daycare or some other arrangements. They’re using you and that’s BS. How dare they make you the bad guy when you don’t want to do them a FAVOR! Unbelievable. Too bad if mom wants a whole day off? Parenting is a 24/7/365 job. What if the bio dad was out of the picture? There’d be no “days off “ then so buttercup needs to suck it up. 

I’m not saying dump the guy, but step back from playing mom. That will bite you in the ass sooner or later and there is no more of a thankless job than  Step parenting. You’ll never be appreciated, the slightest wrong doing will be thrown in your face and you’re seriously just asking for trouble. Mom and dad are gonna have to find a daycare, stop being their free nanny. 

I've been in your position. In a way I still am. 

26 now and just married. To get this far I had to make boundaries and stick with them . For example if my husband wants to use my car ( good gas mileage) he can't just do so he had to ask me .If he wants me to take the kids somewhere he has to ask and accept no is the answer.

If your bf is making you a bad guy but not bending over backwards explain the boundaries you need. If he's pissy then dump and run asap.

stop and think if a girlfriend told you this story and what you would say/think... what advice would you give?  Take it from those who have lived it, you are being used...find your own voice...find your own person.  Then you are I. A position to be in a healthy relationship.

You are not one of them.  If BF is such a great father, he would have a job where he can take care of his kid not dump the kid on you.  This is the best time of a relationship and he’s dumping his kid. It’s only going to get worst for you. 

1. Meeting his kid after 2 months.  Way too soon. 6 months is the minimum per most experts.

2. As posters point out, BM dumps her kid on you to get a free day.  Signs of problems to come.

3. Your SO dumps his kid on you, and treats you like the bad guy instead of someone doing him a huge favor.

4. He is more concerned with what BM wants than what you do.

5. Your priority should be school then work.  But he is not supporting you in this if it means he can’t dump kid with you.

6. No clear CO, or if one exists, it’s jot being followed.

7. You are too concerned about meeting their needs over your own, and lack boundaries needed to protect your own future.

There are more, but you get the idea.

Step away, move out and let more time go by.  See if your SO steps up as a parent.  Stop being a door mat and protect your future.  Finish school and take care of yourself first. Your SO is already prioritizing his EX over you.  He is not the great catch you think he is.  

Am I crazy for feeling like a babysitter and not a parental figure? 

Yoiu're a babysitter. An unpaid babysitter. Everyone benefits from this situation except for you. You should not feel any kind of responsibility about sitting this child simply because you are not her parent (she already has two) and you are not getting paid for your time. The more you watch this child the less time you have for work and the less money you are making. You either work from home or you babysit, which is it to be?

BM wants a while day off? Tuff, that's what childcare is for. Your bf can't be bothered spending time with his daughter? Tuff, that's what childcare is for. Both of them are getting off lightly and you are bearing most of the weight. Time to put your foot down and tell them that this child is theirs and not yours and that they are just going to have to find another solution for looking after her because you're not doing it any more.

Talk to your BF.

It makes ZERO sense for your BF to not spend time with his kids.

I understand feeling like a babysitter. Just a few months ago I threw a fit because I was feeling like an unpaid nanny. THANKFULLy DH stepped it up at that point. Does more to help out with both the house and the kids and the funding. And things have gotten smoother for the most part.

Put your foot down. He should be helping. It hard to get things done with kids at the house. Trust me, I know!

I'm also in my 20s and I watch SO's kids a few days a week while he's at work. The difference is that I offered and wanted to do it; prior to me doing it they went to a babysitter. I was able to rearrange my work hours and it saves our household money. BUT - I did not start watching the kids until we'd been together a couple years and were engaged, I did a trial run first (keeping kids home from babysitter to make sure I and they were OK with it) and I can stop anytime and my SO would just send them back to the babysitter. In other words, he doesn't EXPECT me to watch his kids, it is wholly my choice.

In your situation, I think you feel like the unpaid babysitter because you are. I also do not like that he expects you to watch his kid while you're working.  He apparently doesn't understand or care that working at home means you're supposed to be working, not babysitting. I don't see how you can do a job and watch a child at the same time and do a good job at both.

I would tell your boyfriend that this isn't working with your work and school demands, and he's going to need to make other arrangements. If he gets mad and doesn't agree, then my conclusion would be that he's using you to make his life easier, which would make me question the relationship. If you don't WANT to watch the child, insist that her parents figure out alternate arrangements. If your relationship doesn't survive that reasonable request, then you dodged a bullet.

Oh honey, you're about the same age as my dd.  I know that you're going to do what you want to do and you think this is the best man you're ever going to find because of whatever dysfunctional programming you have from childhood.  I'm not going to tell you to leave because you won't right now but I will ask you to slightly change up the dynamics of your situation. 

You work from home and that's the reason you've become default babysitter to two parents who are taking advantage of you.   Start now and stop making yourself so available.  Make up something about having to meet a client in person or having to go to some business to make an in person contact.  You could even go find a job where you actually have to go in to work. If you don't want to create waves then make it about your job rather than babysitting.  You can also tell bf that your boss is not happy with the quality of your work since you have been so busy watching SD and you'll need to go somewhere to work without distractions.  If your bf really loves and appreciates you he'll understand, if he's just using you for childcare then he'll get mad, gaslight, and accuse you of not caring about him and his daughter.  

Good luck honey, take care of yourself.  I'll echo what others have said; SD has 2 parents and it's their job to raise her.  You can be a positive bonus person in her life but you don't have to be the unpaid nanny/parental figure.  

I've worked night shift. I call BS that he can't watch her during the day.

If you watching the kid is prat of the discussion you two had for working overnight, here's how it SHOULD go:

1) You watch SD until DH gets home from work.

2) Like every other day working parent who comes home from work, they should be watching their kids until bedtime... in this case SD is 2 - I'm assuming she still naps?

3) working that time shift is a switch and it's hard. Been there. HOWEVER... He gets home from work at 9... spends 9-1pm with his daughter, puts her down for her nap... and goes to bed 2pm.

4) You can then watch her from let's say, 3pm to bedtime, 7pm... while DH sleeps...

5) DH sleeping from 2pm - 10pm is a full 8 hours, and only leaves you stuck babysitting for a few hours each day, only some of which is during your work time.

Realistically, that ain't gonna happen. He's probably going to want to sleep 11am - 3pm... get up until about 7pm...back to bed for another few hours... and again, that will also be broken up because let's face it, the kid is 2 and not likely to be quiet

Regardless, there's plenty of time during the day for him to watch his own child, with you as BACKUP not babysitter. Nothing wrong with you helping, if that's what you two agreed to, but you agreed to terms - and none of those were BM's.

When she insists you watch SD because she has a day off, just tell her you are working. If she continues with but you're working at home... you can respond with yes, which means that even if I'm home, I'm working and won't be able to watch sd.

i have  a 24 year old step son who won’t move out. He is not disrespectful to me. Rather, he is aloof and treats me like a piece of household furniture. I want my privacy and want him to move out by the time he is 25. My husband knows this but no steps have been taken on stepsons part to move toward this goal. He pays us a small amount of rent but his job is low paying so he has no savings . He spends his discretionary money going to bars and clubs with his friends. His car is on its last legs  The reality is that he will not have the money to move out in a year because he is saving nothing. I think he needs to get a second job rather than play video games every night. His dad is making life too comfortable. WhenI confront my husband with this he becomes very defensive. He will always put his kids first and has stated  as such . His daughter, 27, did finally move out but she is very needy and spends at least one weekend night each week at our home , most of Sunday watching sports with her dad and also goes out to dinner with him weekly I want to encourage her relationship with her dad but there are no boundaries. She comes over whenever she wants and let’s herself in draping herself over the furniture and watching endless amounts of tv. I’m  at my wits end and think about leaving every day.

My brother works from home. He absolutely has zero availability to watch a 2-year old while working.

What kind of job allows you to watch a kid all day? Plus you are also in school?

Also if you do enjoy babysitting and being a nanny and a housekeeper, then you can get actual job like that and get paid. 

What’s up with these men making girlfriends to be free babysitters and housekeepers? We had several threads like that lately 

I was in a similar situation when I first got together with my  BF at the beginning of our relationship but I never said anything or was listened to when I did. It’s been 2 years now and I still get treated like a babysitter and I e been told that I’m replaceable On Multiple occasions when we fight about me having issues. I don’t have much of a way out at this point sadly after having a child with him and currently being pregnant with another and sadly being completely in love with both of them. Is your sanity and you as a prerson worth all of the pain and the struggle that’s going to inevitably going to take it’s toll on you. I really wish you the. Set of luck and hope that you’re treated with more respect and consideration than I am. Be strong if you’re going to do this because there will be many days you feel like you’re going to break.