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1 week till Little Idiot’s return

AlmostGone83's picture

Little Idiot (SD 19.5) is coming back in one week. She’s applied to the local community college. Her grades in her two classes (music and history) are 80% and 75% respectively. I’m hoping that she isn’t lying about her mother making her “do everything around here” and that her grades will improve up here. Either way, she still is going to be going to college full time and this time no online/hybrid classes. I told her she will sign up for classes where she actually has to go to class. I’m hoping she will have an easier time that way, with a professor explaining the concepts directly to her. She seems to be struggling with these “hybrid” partially-online classes. In any event, she has to at least pass all of her classes. It’s up to her if she is going to do well enough to actually get a job in her chosen field of criminal justice. DH is of the impression that most jobs don’t look too closely at grades/gpa. They only care about if you got the required degree or not. I know graduate schools probably care but I’m not sure about most jobs. 

The local CC is only about a 25 minute drive and is a small campus so she shouldn’t have too much trouble there. I told DH and her that she also needs to work 20hrs. He’s been very agreeable lately towards everything with many promises of holding her feet to the fire and giving her the boot after an associates degree. I’m thinking his rose colored glasses have finally started to come off.

On another note, LI went and got two tattoos. She says they are “small”. We haven’t seen them but DH was disappointed she didn’t take his advice (her motto has always been “I do what I want!!”) but realized there is nothing he can say at this point. 

I stripped her room down to nothing but a bed, tv with dresser stand and a couple tables that I’m not too concerned about her ruining. I/my house just have to survive 2 years of her living here. DH promises that things are going to be different: no nasty clothes laying around, bed made every day, NO charcoal masks staining the bathroom, no using the oven only the microwave, no dirty feet on the wall and no burning any more holes in the carpet with her hair straightener.




advice.only2's picture

I know you are just trying to see the best possible scenario in the situation.  I really hope for your sanity and marriage it all plays out this way.

ndc's picture

An FYI for Big Idiot:  Many first jobs look at and consider GPA.  Once you've proven yourself in a field, subsequent employers are more likely to put greater weight on what you've accomplished than on your GPA.  My sister had a 3.8 GPA, and her first employer wanted her to explain a C she'd gotten in an advanced math class!

Good luck.  I hope your husband follows through on what he's said he'll do.

tog redux's picture

That depends on the field, I think. I’ve never been asked that or even cared about a job candidate’s GPA. You can be a good student and a lousy employee. 

Kes's picture

DH promises things are going to be different?  He's going to "hold her feet to the fire"?  Pardon my scepticism, but I think he would say anything in order to get his daughter in through the door.  Talk is cheap, lets see how he actually does when the time comes.  

tog redux's picture

I hope it works out - at some point most failure to launch kids DO launch, but only if their parents push it and hold them to it.  I'm  not sure BI can do that, but we shall see.  Hope you have an exit plan if he starts making excuses for her again.

thinkthrice's picture

We know for sanity's sake you are trying to give yourself a pep talk, but the leopard can't change its spots.

One glimpse of his mini wife and all the excuses will roll back in like the proverbial tide.

We all pray that at that moment you'll become "Gone83" instead of facing endless decades of masochism with a permanently stunted snowflake and her enabler.

susanm's picture

I have to ask what type of job she envisions getting with an AA in criminal justice.  Most people use that to go toward a specific higher degree track depending on whether they want to go more law, law enforcement, forensics, or social work.  Has she gone into the career center at the CC and actually spoken to anyone about what she can reasonably expect to do with this degree?

tog redux's picture

Maybe she's planning a 2+2?  2 years at CC and then transfer to a 4-year state school for a Bachelor's degree?

susanm's picture

That's what I was thinking but the OP said that she was getting the boot when the AA was completed.  I could be wrong but I really don't think that an AA in Criminal Justice is entry to any specific job.  The only thing I can think of that it could assist with is boosting chances of entry into the police academy if scores on their own tests are not that high overall.  Anything else either needs more specific training or is just clerical and can be gotten without the degree.

Cover1W's picture

I'll bet you that comment about her mother making her do everything refers to BM making her have responsibility and act like an adult. And she doesn't wanna! And daddy will placate!

Harry's picture

Seeing is believing,  she is taking two easy classes and still has a low grade.  What is going to happen when she has to take harder classes.  Make sure she takes enough classes to be done in two years.  Like 5 to 6 classes per  sections  She needs 15 credits   15 X 4 is 60.  She needs 60 something credits in two full years to get a degree 

thinkthrice's picture

she will be exactly like the Animal Torturer (SD 21)...won't make it past eight weeks before dropping out.

Willow2010's picture

Not gonna lie...I am not sure I could do what you are doing.  So my advice may be a little off.  But if I was forced to let SS come back to live with us...I would not make a big deal about her bed being made or room clean, BUUTTT no food in room.  And the main reason I suggest this is because your DH will start to get mad at YOU if you seem to nit pick his little princess.  

I feel for you.  I could not imagine.

thinkthrice's picture

needs to call an exterminator because of LI's slobesque ways ...hoo boy!

BlueEyez's picture

...she is wearing those rose-tinted glasses. Make sure you have set very clear consequences WITH a timeline attached. Example: IF you do or don't do xyz, THEN you will be asked to abc WITHIN x amount of time.  If she is studying any kind of law, get a "contract" in writing with her. Keep it in a safe place! Best wishes...

somethingwicked's picture

I will light a wall full of candles and have a gazillion novenas said for you ,AG

AND hide all the sharps so you won't be tempted to use'em.