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Omfg the drama - how to even untangle this mess

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 07/31/2021 - 2:06pm

So. SIL went all out bashing me to SD after the fiasco last time she was here. SD was fully on board with that and apologized to SIL for me being "so disrespectful" to SIL and told her that she thinks DH and I aren't a good couple because sometimes we argue.(this is all over messenger kids) SIL told SD that it's okay to love her dad but it's not okay for (me) to bully her and make her feel uncomfortable in her own home. She also told SD that she spoke to her dad (DH) but that she couldn't even have a convo with him because I was in the background yelling the whole time. Which is a blatant lie, half the time DH was in the backyard by himself. And I yelled something at SIL once the entire convo. No one can give any examples of how I'm a bully or make her uncomfortable either. And SD said that she thinks I'm controlling DH because I told him not to talk to SIL. What I said to him was "just hang up she's not worth the time." After SD talked to SIL she messaged her that she had to go tell MIL the news. 

So anyway. Stepmom is always the scapegoat. Even when DH stands up for himself it's still my fault. 

Also, some interesting convos between SD and BM. 

SD: when are you coming back? I want my candy asshole.

*bm calls her on messenger kids*

SD: F u I want my candy now.

BM: wow 

SD: candy candy candy (and so on)

BM: stop

SD: candy candy....

BM: you can't just sit at home all day and eat candy and then complain about it. I'm not gonna buy you candy anymore.

Just saying, if SD being comfortable means letting her swear at us, she can continue to be uncomfortable. SIL also sent her a message because SD took her cousins hair chalk and rubbed it all over things at SILs house. So apparently she only behaves at our house. But yet we're being told by all these lunatics that we're the bad ones.

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 07/31/2021 - 3:12pm

Of Chef's older half sister (who came over once in 17 years) telling us that the feral's "cousins" (her grandchildren--she married Chef's half brother from the father's 1st marriage--yeah weird) didn't like to come over to our house because we "just made them work."

Which was a blatant lie.   Although better behaved than Chef's 3 ferals, the "cousins" were the only buffer between the ferals and me.  Yes we did some chores the latter half of the looooonnnnnggg 5 years of visitation before they PASed out but the "cousins" and ferals went on haunted hayrides, pumpkin trebuchet tosses, the beach, the park, halloween haunted houses, the amusement park, you name it with us.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 07/31/2021 - 3:50pm

Chef's mother's first husband's daughter to Chef's father's first wife's son.

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 07/31/2021 - 7:06pm

Gross.

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Sat, 07/31/2021 - 7:17pm

Well, that's complicated...and must have made for some weird holiday gatherings...

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Sat, 07/31/2021 - 7:18pm

I think your SIL is the definition of toxic...why does your DH still talk to her at all?

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 07/31/2021 - 7:51pm

He doesn't. He called to tell her off once and that's all he's spoken to her in the last 2 years. SIL tried to make it sound to SD like she was having a nice convo with her brother and I got in the way of it, but in reality he was enraged like I've never seen before at her and was laying into her the second she picked up the phone.

Findthemiddle's picture

Submitted by Findthemiddle on Sun, 08/01/2021 - 9:46am

Don't engage any of these people ever.  Anything you do serves as a launchpad from them to push back against.  These people are crazy - let your husband handle everything.  Sorry this is happening it sounds horrible.