You are here

Is this neglect?

relationshipguru's picture

Submitted by relationshipguru on Mon, 11/27/2023 - 12:18am

Forums: 
General Discussion

Is it neglect for a single mother to leave her 15 year old daughter home alone for weeks at a time in order to visit her out of state boyfriend with little communication while she is gone? She will leave enough food for her daughter but after two weeks she will call a friends to go get her daughter groceries. The mom says it isn't neglect because her 17 also lives there however he is rarely home because of work and school. What type of mum does this? The mum lost her husband sue to a tragic accident a year before and has been emotionally disconnected ever since.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 11/28/2023 - 10:54pm

in SpermLand.
MIL & FIL moved 300 miles  and left SIL then 15yo alone for months.  DW called CPS to report her own parents.

CPS told DW that SIL was old enough to get herself on the school bus, clean the house if it was dirty (it was like an episode of Horders) and feed herself.

MIL & FIL provided SIL with a home.  Beyond that, CPS did not give a shit about a 15yo.

Dont expect much if you report BM to CPS.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 11/27/2023 - 8:14am

I would say that she is neglecting her responsibilities as a parent to be gone so much.. but as Rags pointed out.. that does not necessarily equal "neglect" in the eyes of the law/CPS (your locality may have rules.. maybe not).  

I am confused.. her DH died a  year ago.. but you said in the last post in May.. she was married?  is she married to this other guy? now.. or is it different BM (some people deal with more than one).

 

Does your husband want to take custody of the 15 yo and the 17 yo?  do you?  Do you have a good relationship with the kids.. and would they want to live with you?

At 17/15.. they likely are capable to an extent but obv lack of supervision by an adult is not ideal.

 

LittleCloud9's picture

Submitted by LittleCloud9 on Mon, 11/27/2023 - 8:48am

Yes it's crappy parenting and definitely neglectful morally and common sense-wise but legally they probably won't count it as neglect. The bar is very low that way. However it could be of concern to a family court in regards to custody depending on the laws where you are. Some folks have language in their COs that specify if one parent is gone, vacations or whatever, the other has the right to take the child if they want them. If you can show the custodial parent is absent a lot a court might possibly be agreeable to reassigning custody roles. Supposing you wanted that. A family lawyer could advise you best if you wanted to try and address it. 

nappisan's picture

Submitted by nappisan on Tue, 11/28/2023 - 8:27pm

My opinion is coming from someone who lost thier husband in an accident and also having a young son at the time.   she will be trying to cope anyway she possibly can and most likely searching for comfort anywhere.  I was disconnected for years and years and my son sadly missed out on a lot of the mothering that should have been happening at that age and unfortuneately you just dont have the energy to give it. luckily i had a great friend/neighbor that gave my son a motherly figure through this time.     I was horribly judged by people and was cast out because of that,,, your dealing with grief and trying to figure out a direction again , then you have to start dealing with people judging your behaviour and how they think you should be dealing with it.  It took me a good 5 or 6 years to start feeling some kind of connection again with family / life.   At this point ,I personally think she hasnt got the capacity to consider anyone elses needs including her teenager.  This is just my personal experience