I'd say if LI wants to bring her friend and bff pays her own fare, I'd agree to it.  But I'd say no to paying bff's fare.

Don't you just hate the holidays?  I used to love it but the step drama has killed it for me.  A shame.

On social media, LI has been running around with this woman (her new bff). I can't even say girl anymore. They are both adult women and this newest friend looks to be just as trashy as all her other friends have been. She's also 30.

Lol at her trash bucket friends

That woman is probably her l3sbian lover if she's out here having "sleepovers" with this person  

 Ijs

I wouldn't pay money for some stranger to commute to blow my adult kids back out in my own home either 

No. Y'all grown enough to have "sleepovers" then you grown enough to PAY for said "privilege" ..... at a hotel, Airbnb, or wherever 

I'd start working on him now, appealing to his emotions.

"Y'know, I can't help but think how nice it would if LI came to visit by herself this year. It's been such a long time since you and she last got quality time together. I bet you would love to get to have a heart-to-heart with her and catch up with all her news, now that there isn't a boyfriend around to constantly be taking her off gallivanting when she's here..."

One stone, several birds ...

If she tries to bring the woman with her, put your foot down. You don't want strangers in your house,and you are certainly not going to pay for her.

I was wondering what she did to get fired too. It had to have been something illegal, either that or someone higher up in the food chain dropped in, saw how the place was going to the dogs and got rid of all the wastrel.

I would go with the theme.. We are getting older.. not up to hosting overnight guests...money is tight.. we can help with some of the cost of your ticket honey.. but if your friend wants to come.. you will have to stay at a hotel and she will be paying her own costs.  

I actually would highly discourage in as much as saying.. We are trying to keep our contacts lower during cold/covid and flu season.. so we would just have you over for the holidays.. if you are traveling with your friend.. I'm sure she can entertain herself at the hotel while you visit.

Why not just say the truth. . We don't want to host a grown woman staying over. We are private people and it's too much for us. We don't want to do that 

My thought is to go away for Christmas with your husband on couples break. Perhaps a cruise or a cute one bed cabin somewhere picturesque or maybe a city break somewhere romantic? 

most likely if you are not bribing her.  [ free plane tickets for her and bff. Gifts. ATM ]. She will not come over. I would insist on equal money being spent on me.  As in a few weeks after Christmas. A flying vacation for you and DH.  IF he can pay for LI " vacation with bff ". He can pay for your vacation. What will cost more.  
Everything LI gets something you get equal or more. You are not putting your foot down. 

It's one thing to pay for your child to bring the spouse or long term SO. It's another to pay for the flavor of the month or 'a friend'. No extra ticket.

I feel your pain. Just when you think the little idiots, in my case the little diablas, can't make the holidays any worse they firgure out way to do it.

Last year YSDiabla25 got a last minute plane ticket to fly here ON CHRISTMAS DAY. (For sure BM's idea) So DH did an 3 hour total airport run on Christmas Day to pick her up while I slaved over a hot stove by myself to prepare a Christmas dinner for our family.

I would have just thrown the dinner out the window if it hadn't been for my own children being here. On Christmas Eve SDiabla let DH know that she would require a special diet. (She has a parasite that she picked up in a foreign country, probably because she wasn't careful with handwashing, scratched her butt and drank the water she was instructed not to drink.) Lol

Sadly and surprisingly, the dinner I had previously prepped & planned more or less happened to fit into her strict diet so I am sure she thought I made it just for her. (I did not.)

When she visited, or more like imposed herself on us, this summer for 3 weeks, she complained a lot that the meals I prepared did not fit her dietary requirements. Not my problem girl-woman. You are an adult and can handle your own meals.

I already told DH that he needs to give his Diablas a heads-up that they need to pick a day to travel that is NOT on the actual holiday. In true head in the sand fashion he said he already "forgot" that YSD arrived on x-mas day last year. Smh I told him I do not want another stressful holiday. The excuse given by SD last year is that tickets on the day of Christmas were the cheapest. Ya, you moron, because you bought the tickets a week before xmas. Plan ahead!

Is officially over and I can't say I'm sad to see the back of it.  Very bad luck that LI now  has weeks free to come around and mooch off of you guys.

The audacity of her to expect y'all to host friends (not even an SO) during the holidays AND to pay for airfare. That's wild! Where is she even finding these people? Do they have no concept of how awkward and rude it is to impose themselves on a family they don't even know?

My bestie and I have been friends for 25 years. I stopped staying at her parents' house around the time we were 21 - if I went to their city to visit, I got a hotel. And were very close, her dad baptized my DD, I spoke at her mom's funeral, etc, I would have died before I asked them to pay airfare.

I came back to add that I am not loving it that OSD is now bringing her friends around. I much preferred when she brought them to her BM instead but now that BM no longer lives in our state she considers this her home base to entertain her idiot friends who are *almost* as stupid as she is. 

You know damned well that you are NOT being unreasonable. Though you are wasting your time and bliss trying to keep DH in touch with LI. 

As to the why of LI losing this job, that is a waste of mental effort. The concept of the common denominator instantly explains it. She is LI. This is what she does.

Give it not another thought.

As for LI bringing anyone home for Christmas. Just no. Make that a hill to die on with DH. Marital resources will not be spent to buy tickets for yet another bottom dwelling "friend" of LI. LI, sure. Buy her a ticket and she can hermit out alone in her room since she will avoid you and DH like the plague since yet another POS friend of hers will NOT now nor every again be allowed in your home.

Have absolute confidence that LI's relationship with her father is not your responsibility. Stop torturing yourself over it.  Daddys parental failure and self delusion is his to recognize and deal with. LI... is a lost cause.

Write her off and limit the waste of any marital resources on the LI 's life's toilet vortex of infinate disappointment and continued failure.

DHs relationship with LI will not change. LI has no interest in her father beyond any opportunity to take advantage of him.  So, don't let that happen. Let her rot. She is long past the point of write off.

IMHO of course.

Take care of you.

What Rags said. 
It's not your job to try to connect LI with DH, improve their relationship, or whatever.
And what is this about needing a buffer? My SD always needed one, too. 
Stand your ground. Just say no. 

Luckily, my skids never want to spend any holidays with us; even if I would allow it, which I won't, mommy would never allow it!