DH hates Steptalk and ordered me to delete my account.
Late last night I awoke to DH staring at the computer screen. He heard me wake up I guess and turned around to yell at me.
He was asking me what kind of crap is this. This is just a website for a bunch of evil women to come and gossip about how much they hate their husbands and step kids. I told him he doesn't understand and he will never understand. He ordered me to take down my account and never come back on here again. I got some courage inside me and told him no. This led to a big argument.
This morning he wakes up overly lovey telling me he is sorry. I swallowed and told he will not boss me around and that when his kids come over if he does not discipline them and lay down some simple rules than he will have a break from having a wife. No one will be around to cook or clean or fold clothes. No one will be ironing his work uniform. And he will be forfeiting pleasure other than from his hand for a good while. He apologized once more and went to work.
I have a bad taste in my mouth. I hate the way he treated me last night. He did not listen to my feelings and to make matters worse he thought he had the right to boss me around. I meant everything I said to him. And I am never one to raise my voice. I am tired of being a walking talking doormat to him and his kids. I'm not sure why but I feel so sad and guilty right now. Like I should apologize for raising my voice to DH. I know I was in the right I can't apologize. I don't understand why I am always the one feeling guilty when he is wrong.
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Echo you see this is why I
Echo you see this is why I come here. Thank you! For advice like this. For someone to look at things from the outside and give me prospective. I really love this piece of advice thank you.
My DH did the same years ago.
My DH did the same years ago. I calmly told him that if it weren't for step talk, I would have walked years before...He still actually doesn't like it, especially now that I no longer have any contact with any of the crazies, but I don't care. If he doesn't like it, too bad.
Wow cheriwilson. Thanks. I
Wow cheriwilson. Thanks. I felt like I just walked out of my therapist's office. I appreciate you looking at things from my DH's point of view. I will make it a point to share your advice with him this evening. The things you said about ST where right and I appreciate your perspective on things. Again thank you, you are probably going to help me strengthen my marriage with this advice.
Don't listen to him. DH had a
Don't listen to him. DH had a problem with it early on, but, I have gotten some great advice here that I have used on him and told him so. He doesn't comment anymore. He knows I need this in order to stay sane.
My DH did it and I told him
My DH did it and I told him to sober up! I am an adult and going to do what I want.
He does ask a lot of questions as to why I am on here and I told him he wouldn't understand he doesn't have stepchildren. I love my stepchildren but they do add stress to my life.
Yeah I think sharing other
Yeah I think sharing other step family stories really helped my marriage. Like the one where the 30 year old married sd was still sending daddy a Christmas list. It really woke up DH about what his kids are turning into.
Picturing what these
Picturing what these Bio-parents would expect from a step forum. "My step child is a beautiful, smart, funny beacon of light and joy. How can I deal with the sadness when visitation ends?"
I feel like this was a good
I feel like this was a good thing. You needed something to happen to snap you out of being a pushover. You NEED to take your life back. So often we lose ourselves within all of this blended family crap. We forget who we are, we stop being US. That's not fair.
This opened a door for your and your DH to talk about things that have been bothering you. That big white elephant in the room can go away now, and you won't even have to see the shadow of its feet outside the door because you can get rid of it. I think if this is handled the right way, you will be very happy with the results. Like Echo said, sit down and TALK TO each other. Not AT each other. Work as a team, like you used to. I am sure at some point you used to, or you never would have gotten married.
I am excited for you, this is your chance to make things right! Then you can come here and share your success stories rather than your challanges