Update: SS went back to live with BM, Miscarriage, SS possibly a sexual predator
So I just wanted to write a blog on what's been going on in my life recently. If you've read my previous blogs, I wrote about BM getting mad with us actually disciplining SS10 and demanded he go back to live with her. She has full custody but "couldn't handle SS" anymore so she had sent him to live with us a year ago. He is a troubled kid with lots of behavioural and emotional problems and we tried the best we could with him. Anyways, so he's gone. Everything in our life is back on track. The tension is gone between DH and I and we have both been able to focus our attention on our DD2.5. Life has been great. Then we found out we were expecting. We were ecstatic, I really wanted DD to have a close sibling. Everything was going well with the pregnancy, or so I thought. I had all the usual symptoms. We went for the ultrasound last week and were shocked that they couldn't find the baby. There was no baby, just an empty sac. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. I am now 12 weeks and waiting to miscarry. I have so many emotions going on. We are also gearing up and packing for a cross country move. Then we get a call from children's services (We are in Canada) who called to tell us that they are investigating SS10. His half sister (5) who is BM's other kid has accused him of having his hands down her pants. As if we needed any more troubling news. The social worker said that SS's sister is now removed from BM's care and SS is only allowed to see her through supervised visits outside of BM's home. They said they are concerned about BM's ability to keep her children safe. They are also very concerned about SS. This is not the first time he's "touched" someone. He had been found touching little boys at his school. SS is now registered in the local police station's records and he's in some kind of outpatient sexual clinic. DH is under the impression that it's normal for boys to be sexually curious at that age but everyone else (myself included) thinks there are serious concerns with SS and if they are not dealt with, he will escalate in his troubling behaviour. Then the social worker tells us that BM says if it means getting her daughter back, she will send SS back to live with us. Now, here's the problem. I have my own 2 year old daughter to consider. Now that we know he's been getting sexually curious with his sister, what's to stop him to doing stuff to my daughter.
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Comments
ABSOLUTELY under NO
ABSOLUTELY under NO CIRCUMSTANCES let that boy back in your home! Your daughter has to be your first priority, and she cannot be put in harms way of a possible sexual predator. I feel bad saying this, because he is only 10, but you have to protect your daughter since she is too young to protect herself.
I also agree with this. If
I also agree with this. If they took BM's kid from her because of SS, what's to stop them from taking your DD if you both agree on SS moving back in?
Amen on everything you have
Amen on everything you have said Dtzy. I had 3 brothers growing up. I had one brother who was 3 or 4 at the time and was super proud of his manhood and loved to show people. But none of them EVER touched me. That is abuse. OP should never allow SS back in her home period. End of story. I would never put my daughter in that situation. Foster care or boys home. I'm sorry but that is the only safe situation I see.
No way Jose. He couldn't be
No way Jose. He couldn't be around my daughter. Idgaf who's kid he is.
& honestly? Neither could your DH with his broken normal meter. Thinking it's normal for a 10 year old boy to put his hands down his younger sister's pants or touch other kids. It isn't normal. & until he admits that, how can he possibly help your ss?
I have some doubt as to
I have some doubt as to whether they would allow him to be placed in another home with another young female child anyway. Especially with a father who thinks this is 'normal'.
Thanks for everyone's
Thanks for everyone's comments. I feel more justified in being adamant that DH visit SS outside our home. DH is sort of in agreement. He says he doesn't want to abandon his son, which I agree with, but DH also needs to consider our DD. SS is already a bad influence to her, but now that's he's being investigated for sexual activity at his young age, he is especially dangerous. I just feel like SS really has no chance, with BM (the idiot) as his mother and a mostly absent DH. BM is a complete moron and has totally messed up SS, possibly beyond repair. For the first few years of his life, BM and her now ex-DH PASed SS and wouldn't let DH see him for around 3-4 years.
And yes, DH thinks SS touching his little sister is normal adolescent behaviour. He says that he is just a curious boy. I told him, no that is not normal. But obviously DH doesn't want to hear any of that. I said why do you think the police, children's aid and a sexual clinic is involved investigating this? That does not sound normal to me. But DH says, they all just want to prove that SS is not normal and that he's messed up in the head.
His report card at the end of the last school year showed mostly D's with a couple C's. Now BM is making DH pay for SS to get tutored. I'm so mad about that because BM just lets SS be and hasn't helped him with school or homework since he started school. And now, 6 years later, she finally realizes that he needs help.
He has numerous behavioural problems in and out of school and does not have even a single friend. Anyways, just a vent. I can't concern myself with his issues.