This is where we are.....
Happily married. Love my stepdaughter but had to kick her out. She moved in with us when she was 13 and her mother could not control her. She was flunking out of high school. She has graduated high school with a 3.8 and is in college. We are strict but have compromised on many occasions. She is 20 yrs old now and came home drunk--we found her in her room with a naked boy that we had never seen before and she attacked her father--tried to slam his arm in the door and then tried to taunt him to hit her. I got between then and told her and the boy to get out. We gave her until the weekend to get her things out of the house--her mother lives close by and has room for her. I packed some of her things (nicely)....but made it very clear that unless she apologized to her father that she was not allowed in the house--locks have been changed. We packed what she did not take and took it to her mother's storage unit. Now she is calling me her father's C wife who he choose over his own blood and she is accusing him of being abusive...telling her friends that he hit and choked her. She even tried to convince her mother that he choked her but she called me and said there are no marks--trust me if he had choked her there would have been marks and I was there and I wouldn't have put up with that. I would have called the cops on him. The problem I'm having is how to deal with her vile hateful behavior. She manipulates her parents and I've witnessed it for years. I think this is the first time anyone has really stood up to her and I refuse to back down. I've even told my husband that if he allows her back in the house without her apologizing for and taking responsibility for her behavior that I would move out--not leave him but move out. I will not live with her. I am mad and am trying not to act on anger. I will not respond to her texts or taunts. I texted her mother and asked if she though he (my husband--her ex) had ever been abusive to her and she texted back that he has always been strict but never abusive. I'm afraid that she is going to try to get him in trouble with lies. I think it best we just stay away from her now. The last text he sent her was. I love you and I'm here when you're ready to talk and she texted back you've been an abusive father--Now you're choosing you're C wife over me your blood. I hope you remember what I look like because you'll never see me again.
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Comments
Good riddance to a toxin! I
Good riddance to a toxin! I am so glad the BM didn't gang up on you...not that it really makes a lot of difference what she thinks but BM can sure make life worse when they choose to.
Interesting and sad. My
Interesting and sad. My stepdaughter must be her twin. She hit my husband repeatedly. She called me a czxz$ also. She also said she wouldn't be part of our family anymore and that my husband chose me over her. Where do they learn this stuff? It sounds like the two of you are handling it the best you can.
Interesting and sad. My
Interesting and sad. My stepdaughter must be her twin. She hit my husband repeatedly. She called me a czxz$ also. She also said she wouldn't be part of our family anymore and that my husband chose me over her. Where do they learn this stuff? It sounds like the two of you are handling it the best you can.
My daughter tried this crap.
My daughter tried this crap. They hate being caught out and their little deluded life bubble bursts.
Her accusations are just that. Accusations. She did not call the cops from her mothers place. She did not file charges. And if anyone does say anything you can just say "Yeah we caught her in bed with a stranger in our home. She attacked her father and probably feels very embarrassed about the whole thing."
And maybe a letter from an attorney friend might not go astray about defamation of character.
She will come around in a year or two. It took having a baby and realising loserboyfriend was just that ... loserboyfriend for my daughter to pull her head in and grow up.
Oh and I hope your contribution to her college education is on hold. Never bite the hand that feeds you.
Apology or not, she would not
Apology or not, she would not be allowed back in my home.
She's a bit old for a simple
She's a bit old for a simple apology to make amends don't you think? Honestly as long as she gets to keep bouncing from mom's to dad's, she will never learn anyrhing. I am confused as to how all this became your fault if her dad was the one who caught her and she attached him. I won't act like a saint, when I was a teenager I was a ruthless bitch on a bad day to my parents. It didn't happen everyday or even every month but I can say that I never really appreciated my parents until I had a few self reliant years under my belt. This girl needs to be out and held accountable for her behavior or she'll never learn it's unacceptable and people don't have to deal with her if they don't want to-blood or not.
I'm finding as the days go by
I'm finding as the days go by I'm more and more angry. Angry with her father for thinking he did something wrong or is a failure as a father. I know he's pining away wishing she'd call and he'd be right back in her manipulative clutches. I know deep down that he's pissed at me for putting my foot down but won't dare say anything. He thinks she's this fragile little girl when in reality she's the devil. Her mother thinks I jumped the gun by not giving her a chance to explain--WTF is there to explain?? Orrrr....maybe you're just upset because you now have to deal with her and her dysfunction 100%. At any rate...she's not calling or coming around at all. I packaged her mail and sent it to her mother's house and on top of that I have a clean house--yay me!!
OMG--BM just called me
OMG--BM just called me because SD blew into her house yelled at her for allowing SD's dog to be around the day care kids (BM has an in home day care) during snack time. SD yelled at her mother called her names--took her dog and her clothes and split. BM is all in a tizzy because she doesn't know what to do. Ummmm...throw the rest of her belongings out on the street, change the locks....call the cops the next time she gets nutty with you. Am I the only sane one in this situation? I have an appt with my therapist who I haven't seen since my first husband died. I wonder if it's so easy for me to distance myself because I've never been a "real" mom. I have two other skids...since they were 3 & 5--now 35 & 37....never have I ever had such issues with them. I'm so happy because I don't have to deal with the energy vampire in my house.