BM resurfaced...

She doesn't realize that there is a court date in 2 weeks. Sheriff has "attempted" to serve her at her last know address 3 times. (we knew she didn't live there, but don't know where else to send anything).

She text multiple times, DH only responded with "How is Rehab going".

She wants to see SS before we leave for New York (Friday)- Not happening. She doesn't know what day we are going. She can just see everyone else posting about how they are getting ready to leave. (why they are putting it out there in FB world that they are leaving their homes empty... beyond me. Some people just don't think, we have a house sitter coming and I still wouldn't blast it on social media that we are leaving. Duh.)

She wants to see SS for his Bday, 8/6 (nope)

She doesn't live in the house she used to (no kidding) and has been "camping" and staying at Meth Mans, and said she is homeless. (thanks for putting that in writing )

Her response to the rehab question: It is postponed because I have to go to mental health first (lie). But I still have every intention of going (bigger lie)

SS still won't take her calls or respond to her texts. She tried a few times yesterday. He ignored them.

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Did your DH ever file a

Did your DH ever file a change in custody motion??

Yes, hence the court date

Oh, totally missed that part

Oh, totally missed that part - HA!! I need new contact lenses - lol!

how will you guys handle the inability to serve her? Or did he file a motion for alternate service at the same time as the custody motion??

Man, I can't believe what a loser that broad is......I mean, I thought Medusa was a beast, but your BM certainly gives Medusa a run for her money.

They attempt to serve her 3

They attempt to serve her 3 times at her last known address, and then we just move on to court without her. We will win by default. Not to mention the fact that we would win anyway

I'm not sure exactly how it

I'm not sure exactly how it will work from here. We have never done this before. I would like to present everything we have so it is on file with the court. We will see what they allow.

Ah, so your BM is just like

Ah, so your BM is just like Medusa - lol!!

Good times, good times.

Gross. People make me sick

Gross. People make me sick trying to use a pregnancy to get their way. It's disgusting.

Do you think a judge will

Do you think a judge will hold it against your DH that he knew she was staying a Meth Guy's Den but he never bothered to tell the court server (?) he was aware of her location? I hope not. I hope she doesn't show and your DH puts a PO against her for mentally disrupting your skid constantly.

She is every where. And we

She is every where. And we don't have that guys address.

She is in violation anyway, she is supposed to give us 30 day notice of address changes.

Okay, I cant see a judge

Okay, I cant see a judge expecting your DH to track her down and keeping tabs on her; but I wouldn't want you to finally get him into a court room and the judge go for a continuance. I'm a worrier. I don't want to be blamed for anything so if I were in your shoes I would email her setting her up to "meet" at her nearest Mcdonalds (so she can use that wifi for Facebook" then have someone serve her then. Hell I would even do it myself. Might even through in a fake-chicken nugget meal and go on my way. It's probably because I deal with a BM who is constantly saying "you didnt tell me" or "I didnt know about it" and getting off for stuff that I like to use precautions to cover myself.

She doesn't check her email.

She doesn't check her email. Probably because she would rather use her free obama data on facebook. DH sent her an email a few months back telling her that if she wanted to get some sort of visitation back she needs to meet with him to discuss rehab and other items. She never replied.

I'm honestly not worried about it at all.

Sueu, I certainly see where

Sueu, I certainly see where you are coming from here. And I don't disagree with you.

We have had conversations with him about still being "allowed" to talk to her. He has made the decision right now to put distance there. He worries about her when he knows what she is up to. He gets stressed out and it affects him in many ways. He recognizes that. When he is ready to talk to her, he will. We do make sure that he keeps in contact with his grandparents and uncle on her side of the family. I know there is a real chance that she will do something stupid and he won't ever see her again, but we have had to let him take the reigns on how to handle his relationship with her, only HE knows what he has seen when he was still with her. The only thing I do know is that he is very aware of the difference between heroin and meth... and how people use them. I didn't even know that until I saw it on Breaking Bad. He has witnessed more in his little 12 years of life than I will ever, or would ever WANT to see. He has to protect himself. Right now, this is how he chooses to do so. He knows we aren't against him communicating with her. And he will again some day, when he is ready.

I don't know that there really is a "right way" to handle all of this. We are doing the best we can with the hand that SS has been dealt.

"Children want their

"Children want their mother"

Absolutely true, no doubt. But, right now, meth has this SS's mother, not him. If/When she stays clean...I'd say no problem, lets work out a supervised visit to see your mother. Right now, all he's dealing with is a smacked up meth addict.

i see your point sue, and

i see your point sue, and agree with you about guilt/regret. however, i disagree that it would be applicable in this type of situation. this person is not his mother, it is a person possessed by a drug. this is not the woman he loves.

the boys have seen their mother a handful of times in the last few years. and it's not been good... the two oldest are truly disturbed at the person dumb@$$ has become. i saw the absolute pain on lurch's face when he pulled up his mother's booking photo. he has recounted to me some of the nonsense bull$#!t that has come out of her mouth due to the fact that her brain is truly fried. this is not his mother anymore, and what's worse is he KNOWS it.

i had no contact with my own mother for 13 years save for a few minutes at my brother's wedding. i do not regret my decision, i feel no guilt for it. i was 14 at the time.

bs's ss is very mature for his age (unlike kaos, who really has the maturity of a 7 yr old). the door is open if bm and ss BOTH want to walk through it. i'm sure lurch and oss have both ignored plenty of calls/txts from dumb@$$ but i dont check their phones. i think bs's ss needs to do what he feels is right for himself right now without coersion from anyone. maybe when she hits rock bottom, this may be what she needs to turn herself around.

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