Crybabies??

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I'm wondering what has been your experience with kids that cry at the drop of a hat? I'm not a stepnazi, but I am very straightforward and don't exactly hold back in letting them know I'm disappointed when they don't act like they know they should.

That said, SS6 has started crying every time he gets in trouble lately. It's like "Why did you do _____?!?" And the kid tears up and goes into sobby voice to where I can't even understand his reply. To which I normally tell him to knock it off - the crying that is. He knows he'll be in bigger trouble if he doesn't dry it up.

If I remember correctly SD8 did the same thing at that age. The crybaby crap and the whining was never tolerated with us so she stopped it, eventually. It took a while though. Oh, but she was the worst. The kid stubs her toe and she screams like someone has ripped off her flesh and poured salt on her. Teaching her how to get a handle on her emotional response (something her mother has no clue about) is going to be a continuing battle.

Is 6 years old just an age of being whiny and crying every time you're caught acting like an idiot?
(I never call the skids idiots, btw. I'd cry too if I had a stepmom who was that mean.)

If you've experienced this with a kid at any age, how have you handled it?

It must seriously have

It must seriously have something to do with being "Stepkids", and absolutely KNOWING, at any age, that the Bio mom or dad will give in, come running, bend over, kiss it better, whatever.

And that is why the crying/whining ensues. I feel like its an attention getter. Just another way in or something, because they are SOOOO deprived of any affection/attention, etc.
Please. My BF's little brats get so much attention it isnt even funny. Physical, emotional, toys, gifts, etc. CONSTANT attention. And the second they dont get what they want, the both of them cry and whine like a damn 2 year old. They see him hug me or any kind of attention towards me, they instantly jump on him, want something, sit next to him closer, etc. If he doesnt reciprocate the advance, they cry and give sob story that.. " you dont like me"..
What!? Of course he likes you!He HAS to like you... but guess what!? Its me who doesnt, you dumb spawn of satan. They are 4.5 and 9.5 Years old. BTW.

Ugghhh anyway. I dont have any advice and am just joining your rant I guess. Even though I will give my BF credit for tryig to discipline, and be a good Dad, back me up, include me etc. THe second those girls start sprinkling tears, he is putty in their hands.
Gross. What grosses me out the most, is he will say EVERY time... "Whats the matter babe?", to one of them or both... I think I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about it.

Definitely gonna have to

Definitely gonna have to agree with Steve here. My SS4 started to get in the habit of fake crying. He would stick his lower lip out and pout whenever he knew he was about to get in trouble. He acted like he wouldn't go in time out if he did that, which may fly at BM's, but certainly not over here.

If the child is genuinely upset though (even if it's for something tiny that you don't think they should be crying over), you should never make them feel like it's not okay to cry, and punish them for doing so. Just my opinion though.

My mom used to say, "do you

My mom used to say, "do you want me to give you something to cry about!!!" That pretty much dried my tears up quickly.

YSS is 13 and STILL cries if he doesn't want to do something i.e. chore etc. :sick: I'd love to be able to say what my mom said to him.

DH tells SD6 this... lol

SD6 has her tears ready at

SD6 has her tears ready at ALL times... that girl can start crying in 0.07 seconds, no joke. And if you hear her, it sounds like her mother died or something. Bothers the crap out of DH and myself... And that is just like BM, BM cries EVERY time DH and her argue....

Hopefully she won't grow up to be one of those teenage girls that cry for everything, like "oh he didn't call me today... WHAAAAAAAAAAAA-YAHHHHHHH-HHAHAHAH"

P.S: She gets teased at school because her classmates call her crybaby

My sd is 6. She doesn't cry

My sd is 6. She doesn't cry as much anymore, atleast not over here because she knows dh won't put up with it. But one thing that gets on my nerves is when we are all riding bikes she'll take frequent breaks and when I don't stop when she does she will almost scream stop and she'll get upset when I don't follow her demand, that's really the only time she will throw a fit... kinda weird.

I find this with my SD's.

I find this with my SD's. I've witnessed the BM pandering to her daughters as soon as they hit the floor, seriously, not doing the kids any favours by making a mountain out of a mole hill. I taught my daughter from an early age that if you fall over, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get on with it (with a quick hug if its really needed). If they expect the attention, they will play it to the full.

However my problem with my step kids when they are told off is to laugh at us... Not sure whats worse, a child that automatically puts the waterworks on or a child that laughs at you? Laughing is surely a sign of disrespect and that they dont take you seriously. Step families have got to be the worst when they have different expectations of them at the different families. :S Tricky.

Thanks Crayon! I do wear my

Thanks Crayon! I do wear my big girl panties some days, and occasionaly score some points

My SS, age 11 now, still does

My SS, age 11 now, still does this. Like you said, dsp1978, "whiny and crying every time you're caught acting like an idiot," and, no, I don't call them idiots to their face either.

I have 3 skids, SS10, SS11 and SD12. SS10 and SD12 are the most like their father and I doubt I have to go any further in reference to the other...

The worst part about SS11's behavior is that he is rewarded for it at home. I'm not talking about a mother that gives in to his every whim, though she does, I'm talking about a skid who goes home and cries to his mommy that he got in trouble at dad's house and gets rewarded with her complete attention.

Did I say that was the worst? Actually, the worst is that SS11 never mentions to his mommy that dad also yelled at him or what he did to get yelled at, only that I yelled at him. Then I get threatened by BM and go into a downward spiral of shit.

Wait? Why do I love that kid? Or his father?

But, the biggest question is - who is the bigger idiot? Him for marrying her? Or me for marrying him?

Don't answer.

They just feel like crying

They just feel like crying can get them out of their situation with BM or BF. if BM or BF does it once, then it happens more and more. And they hate you (SP) even more if you are immune to their little pathetic displays of waterworks. They hate the fact that you can't let them off the hook.

They just feel like crying

Thanks for all of the

Thanks for all of the responses. We've been on vacation so I didn't get to check in on all of these.

I think we'll just keep up with what we've been doing which is to not cater to the crying. It took a while for SD8 to figure out crying and whining didn't work on us because it works on BM. I guess eventually SS will figure out the same. It should be faster for him. We didn't have custody of the skids when SD8 was going through this. Should be easier to continue reinforcing when BM only has them EOW - not looking forward to the problems after her month long visit in July. ack.

And SpunkiDoolittle - that is almost exactly what I tell SS about whining except I say, "Sorry, I don't speak whining." And sometimes I say it in a funny accent, partial foreign language to lighten the mood like, "No parlez whining," "No sprechen whining" "No habla whining" etc. It seems to get him to try to talk normally.

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