Husband doesn't seem to want his sons to do chores.
My husbands sons are 12 & 13yrs old. They come to visit us every other weekend and occasionally for a week at a time on their school breaks. They are generally good kids. My husband also has a 16yr old daughter and I have a 16yr old and 18yr old from previous marriage.
We decided that since our girls live with us full time we would set a list of chores and rules for them. The girls like this and it has made things easier. I suggested that we also share the rules with the boys since they share the household with us on occasion, and it's only fair that we ask them to go by the same rules. Right?
Mainly, I asked that we let the boys know that one of our rules is that we each rinse out or wash the dishes we use 9 cereal bowl, spoon, etc.) But my husbands reaction was anything but welcoming of the idea. He started by making that squinty face that lets me know he doesn't agree with me. So he then says "well...i don't think they should have to do that. They are only here for a couple days and they are 12 & 13." I was kinda shocked since I know my husband and I have both done chores since we were younger than that! This isn't the first time I've heard what sounds like an excuse for his boys to not do a chore. I've heard "they are too young", they are only 12& 13", "we only have them for a couple days", "They don't do that at their moms" or "well I don't know, we will see". I'm so frustrated. I just want them to rinse their dish, not mow the lawn?!?!
I agree with you completely!
I agree with you completely! At that age I was doing the laundry for 5 people, all of the ironing, dishes, and cutting the grass! Picking up after themselves/washing their own dishes should be mandantory!! That's the minimum that should be done! You aren't asking them to clean up after everybody in the house!! Your husband needs to try and understand that you and the girls are not maids! It doesn't matter if they are there for 2 hours or 2 months. As parents you have to teach children. Point out to him that you are teaching them not punishing them! Good luck!
That reminds me of the time i
That reminds me of the time i asked sd13 who was 12 at the time if she could do some dishes for me her reply "i did them a few weeks ago!!"
Yes they shoud be doing chores it teaches them how to look after them selfs when they fly/ are pushed from the nest.
Good luck
Yes, I tried asking my ss who
Yes, I tried asking my ss who was 12 to do dishes and his repsonse was that it wasnt his turn. I asked him what he meant and he said that he had done them last at bm's. Um, ok-how does that relate to our house? Also he frequently says he doesnt live here so he isnt doing anything for anybody else. I typically remind him that he uses the toilet, eats our food, walks on our floors and does not live in a bubble so he too makes a mess. But if he cleans anything here he sees it as doing it for me and my kids (and of course he would never lift a finger for any of us ingrates).
So does your husband wash all the kids dishes for them when they are there? Do all their laundry including towels, sheets, etc. Clean all messes that they make? I guess if he wants to do all of those things since his children are so "young" then I'd let him but there is no way in hell that I or my children would be doing it for them.
Personally i would love to
Personally i would love to clean everything away except what is skids and let them tidy it up, let them do there own dishes and share of the pots and pans, own laundry, own cleaning of there own toys/mess etc but alas fdh wont allow it. More than likely any fdh/so/fh would NOT allow it as it might teach indpendence!! :jawdrop: