You are here

DH is a sucker!

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Sat, 09/01/2012 - 6:23pm

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

When SS moved in with us when he was 11 we were lucky to get $30 CS a week from BM. Then is progressed to $60 a week when she found a job.

Threes years later when SS went to live with her she demanded at least $100 a week. Now 7 months later (after her great parenting and SS refusing to go to school) he is back with us.

I just asked DH how much BM would be paying. He told me $60 a week. What a joke. DH is such a push over.

He told me it is none of my business.. I told him it was as I would end up funding her sons living costs. He assured me that $60 a week was plenty to cover his expences.

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Sat, 09/01/2012 - 7:46pm

Yeah but the thing is that all of the food and bills come out of a joint account so the money I put in there will end up funding SS.

I am trying to disengage so not my kid not my problem now equals... I'm no longer funding his activities.

I just can't see why they cant pay the same amount of CS whereever he is living. He doesnt cost any less to feed etc when he is here than he does up there.....

I guess I am annoyed as at the end of the day the more money DH pays the less we have to achieve what we want in life. When he goes back to live with his mother DH will pay $100 again....

When we were on one income and going backwards finanically DH didnt even ask her to pay more than the $60.

I told him he is the biggest push over!

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Sat, 09/01/2012 - 10:22pm

Pay husband rent as for renting a room with bath/kitchen/living room privledges. Maybe $300 a month plus food.

Let him cover all bills. I understand how his extra expense depletes your shared savings or at least limits their growth. He can't very well turn his back on his kid and if she's not working she can't pay much. So there it is and you have two choices. Accept it or leave.

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Sat, 09/01/2012 - 10:54pm

We do have a separate account that we each put money into every fortnight to cover food and bills.

I pay $250 into that account every week. He is a 15 year old boy who eats more than me and is constantly in his room with all the electronics you can think of going. Why should I pay $190 more than him??!! and he gets his own room! ...Rant rant!

Maybe I will tell DH that he also needs to put $60 into the expenses account per week to cover SS's costs. Then he and BM are paying the same amount. Anything over top of food and bills DH is to pay out of his own account.

It's fathers day here today. I just had to remind SS of the fact as its almost 4pm and he hasn't so much as wished DH a Happy Fathers day. Kids can't say they dont know its Fathers day... it's all over the tv etc.... grrr.

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Sat, 09/01/2012 - 11:16pm

Are you saying your DH will ONLY contribute the $60? Or does he contribute from his income as well?

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Sun, 09/02/2012 - 4:00am

Well no money has gone into the expense account yet..... from anywhere..... I'm waiting to see.. Oh and I'm in New Zealand so our $60 is $48 USD. Would you guys think that was a fair amount to pay in CS for a 15 year old boy? His mother works and has no other dependants.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Sun, 09/02/2012 - 10:55pm

Well, I do think he should be adding his own $60 they both should be contributing equally - no matter who earns how much etc - morally they should both be supporting their child.