Need Help ASAP! My SS16 just told met the he and his GF had SEX
My SS16 and I have always had a close relationship. He just confided in me that he and his GF14 had sex. They have since broken up. He says he used protection. I feel betrayed by him because we've had multiple conversations about the importance of him waiting, but I'm happy that he felt comfortable confiding in me. I told him we would take some alone time together so we can talk it through...I still have no idea how I'm planning that conversation to go but my biggest dillema is what am I going to tell his Dad??? He will FLIP OUT knowing that it was under our roof and he will not be able to pretend he doesn't know so then my SS is going to know that I shared his secret. But...I can't possibly keep this from my husband!! I'm glad that my SS felt comfortable confiding in me but I almost wish he didn't because now I'm caught in the middle. I can't even imagine how BM is going to take the news once she finds out he's having sex on our watch. FML
I understand your dilemma but
I understand your dilemma but I would be more worried about HER parents finding out. She is only 14..your SS can consent but she can't...so I'm pretty sure that would be considered statutory if her parents decided to press charged. Honestly if they are broken up then just let it go. That is sweet that he confided in you but perhaps you need to reiterate the importance of protection ect. And new rule that it is NOT to happen under your roof again. Good luck.
Ummm... in your state, can
Ummm... in your state, can your SS get in trouble for having sex with a 14 year old?!? I would be soooo worried about THAT.
Aside from that, I'd suggest telling your SS that he needs to have that conversation with his father. But if his father is going to flip out, I wouldn't blame him for not telling.
He put you in a tough spot, but really... SS is 16, he had sex, he said he used protection. I don't know why his dad NEEDS to know, honestly.
I'd just check that whole age of consent thing.
^^^^^^^^^^Totally agree with
^^^^^^^^^^Totally agree with Echo on this one. SM needs to let SS tell Dad on his own. Not her responsibility or her place, in my honest opinion.
SD14 got BUSTED having sex at 13. Her boyfriend was also 13 and it was consensual; however, if I was the one who had been told/found out first, I'd have instructed SD that it was HER responsibility to let dad know, not mine.
Good luck OP - touchy situation indeed as SS16 is older than his 14 yr old GF and could possibly face nasty consequences for his actions.
As others have said - I think
As others have said - I think the issue is the 14 year old girl. If your SS chooses to have sex, there is not really a lot you can do about it, other than say you are not happy it is taking place in your house. However, sex is not legal where I live, until the age of 16, and he needs to understand that using condoms is not the only issue here, although it is a good sign that he is being responsible as far as that goes.
What if the girls parents decide to report him to the authorities? Is he prepared for that?
I will parrot the others
I will parrot the others regarding the legal issues of a 14 year old having sex with a 16 year old. If and when her parents find out, it could get ugly. I would be so paranoid about the girl changing her story from consenual sex to forced sex after daddy finds out his little angel was deflowered at age 14. I live in TX and a kid my SS18 just graduated with was arrested, at age 17, for having sex with a 14 year old. He is in freakin' jail as I type. His life is ruined...RUINED.
I thought all boys at 16 were
I thought all boys at 16 were having sex??? I guess I don't see it as that big of a deal, other than maybe that the girl is only 14. her parents could prosecute him if they chose to. And, you can't stop a 16 yr old boy from having sex if he wants to, neither can your hubby or the baby momma...don't blame yourself. i started having sex at 15 with my high school boyfriend. he was the only one i was with for 3 years, so not like i was a ho running around. just saying that no PARENT anywhere would have been able to stop me. kids find ways to do what they do. NOT YOUR FAULT!