a. love the step children as much as they love their biological ones
b. put their children's needs first
c. put their bio children's name on step parents' will
That's how it is in my family... I am that way with SD22 and DH is that way with my 3 bios. I do not feel that way about HIS bios (SS24 and SD19) but neither does he. }:)
I think "put children's needs first" is subjective and leading. It reads here as "always putting the children first and making sparent 2nd. Always. No matter what." And also the definition of "needs" is subjective.
Truth is, if we put our children's needs first, we wouldn't be dealing with a lot of the things sparents have to deal with...
No, definitely not. Every family will have their own dynamics and needs. Some step parents will love their kids and step kids equally but it seems completely wrong to expect that of anyone.
Nature selects for parents who put maximum resources in their biological offspring. Everyone alive on Earth and reading this forum is the result of millions of years of evolution --- that evolution selects for traits of survivability. In modern society, survivability includes the ability to earn income to pass onto children so that they can have a high quality of life, find competitive partners, and give birth to competitive children and feed themselves. Unless someone is extremely rich such that their resources are unlimited (i.e. spreading it out amongst all of their children and step kids does not create meaningful change in the survivability of their genetic offspring) it can't be expected that you would give as many resources to children who are not yours.
On the other hand, some step kids become like real family. People that you love, cherish, and want to have the greatest comforts of life. In that case, leaving money to them and supporting them like the children you chose to have seems very loving and great. I hope to bond with my step kids like that as we grow closer as a family, but I certainly don't expect to.
I don't expect my DH to treat my bios as I treat them. I hope to hell he doesn't expect that of me, dynamics are different and Skids are...UGH...horrible to their dad and nasty to us all (DD, DH and me) when in the home. My pets receive more respect from the skids than their own dad. He allows it and so it continues.
Putting children's needs first depends on the situation and the need
My bios cannot or will not expect to be on DH's will/trust and his kids are not a thought or mention in mine.
Since when are kids automatically entitled to assets that BOTH parents worked for? I get everything if DH passes, and vice versa. Right now, SK's aren't getting a dime due to their behavior,and I don't see that changing.
I posted the same question on
I posted the same question on other forum answer are the following
a. of course
haha
b. of course
c. of course
Yes, yes, and yes. That's how
Yes, yes, and yes.
That's how it is in my family... I am that way with SD22 and DH is that way with my 3 bios. I do not feel that way about HIS bios (SS24 and SD19) but neither does he. }:)
haha exactly!!!! same here
haha exactly!!!! same here in my family.
I think "put children's needs
I think "put children's needs first" is subjective and leading. It reads here as "always putting the children first and making sparent 2nd. Always. No matter what." And also the definition of "needs" is subjective.
Truth is, if we put our children's needs first, we wouldn't be dealing with a lot of the things sparents have to deal with...
No, definitely not. Every
No, definitely not. Every family will have their own dynamics and needs. Some step parents will love their kids and step kids equally but it seems completely wrong to expect that of anyone.
Nature selects for parents who put maximum resources in their biological offspring. Everyone alive on Earth and reading this forum is the result of millions of years of evolution --- that evolution selects for traits of survivability. In modern society, survivability includes the ability to earn income to pass onto children so that they can have a high quality of life, find competitive partners, and give birth to competitive children and feed themselves. Unless someone is extremely rich such that their resources are unlimited (i.e. spreading it out amongst all of their children and step kids does not create meaningful change in the survivability of their genetic offspring) it can't be expected that you would give as many resources to children who are not yours.
On the other hand, some step kids become like real family. People that you love, cherish, and want to have the greatest comforts of life. In that case, leaving money to them and supporting them like the children you chose to have seems very loving and great. I hope to bond with my step kids like that as we grow closer as a family, but I certainly don't expect to.
I don't expect my DH to treat
I don't expect my DH to treat my bios as I treat them. I hope to hell he doesn't expect that of me, dynamics are different and Skids are...UGH...horrible to their dad and nasty to us all (DD, DH and me) when in the home. My pets receive more respect from the skids than their own dad. He allows it and so it continues.
Putting children's needs first depends on the situation and the need
My bios cannot or will not expect to be on DH's will/trust and his kids are not a thought or mention in mine.
Since when are kids
Since when are kids automatically entitled to assets that BOTH parents worked for? I get everything if DH passes, and vice versa. Right now, SK's aren't getting a dime due to their behavior,and I don't see that changing.