Small annoyance, but does anyone else's skids do this?
My SD11 is at our house a week on a week off. (Been doing this for 5 years) It seems like she goes out of her way to use every drop of milk the morning she leaves, or eats the very last of the cereal, drinks every drop of juice and leaves the pitcher empty in the refridgerator. If there is fruit, the day before she leaves, she will make sure she polishes it all off.
This past week, she went so far as to hide the toothpaste(in her room? or else she threw it away) so that my daughter wouldn't have any. *I keep spare items like this in the garage BECAUSE she does this.
During the school year, she will be sure to eat all of the lunch box items over the weekend except enough for her lunch on the Monday that she leaves so that my BD has nothing for her lunch. *I fixed this by keeping spare lunch items in a filing cabinet in my office so that I can snag them on the way out in the morning.
I have also had to start keeping my hairspray, make-up, floss, deoderant, toothbrush, etc under lock & key because she will use them.
Stranger still, she will take things from other rooms in the house, not to use, but to have, and set them in her room. Like the timer from the kitchen. She took a flashlight from my BD's room. I connected an extension cord to my Bd's desk lamp, I had 2 sizes out. I used one and SD carried the other one to her room.??
I must add, if I had to describe my SD in 3 words, it would be: selfish, fake, gluttonous.
I have to laugh because SD22
I have to laugh because SD22 was over last weekend and was so worried about using the last of the syrup. I was like, Whaaaat?
She wasn't too worried about making her bed, though. DH said, "Well, some things never change."
Just a thought watch out for
Just a thought watch out for hoarding behavior as she gets older. Also is something lacking at her BM house? Has she ever in her life been deprived of something? Not making excuses just wondered if something else is going on.
I told her she's a hoarder!!!
I told her she's a hoarder!!! She said, "no I'm not...I'm a collector of...everything".
Deprived. Certainly not of food since she is 40 pounds overweight. Deprived of being wanted by her parents, yes. At least BM fakes it, while Dh doesn't bother.
You should see what happens for example when we went summer shopping. She needed about 4 new outifits, but got 7, and wanted 9!! Then we just went school shopping and she had to have 9 outfits for school and got them. Her dad bought her new bedroom furniture, had to have the most expensive set in the store, and she nags and nags and nags about the next expeniture she would like him to make. Like it's an insatiable appetitie for materials(and food). And the thing is, getting her to let go of clothes that are too small is like pulling teeth!!! EVERYTHING she gets has to be the most expensive. If my BD picked out a pair of gym shoes that were $130, I'm sorry, she would have to pick out something else. I think Dh gives in because of the nagging. She nags like a menopausal housewife!
sigh I'm off work again today
sigh I'm off work again today and reading here like crazy while I can (DS 14 home sick) and this brings up work issues
I actually work with people who having hoarding and squalor issues. Our latest case is an older teenager who has separation anxiety disorder, his mum thinks it's because of the emotional problems he experienced when she split with his BF back when the kiddo was about 2. Just sayin', there may be some truth to that, well called Redrobyn
I wonder if your SD's BM worries about not having enough (money, food, clothes etc) are being shared too freely with your BD, Jelly. Any thoughts on that?
SS11 doesn't quite do all of
SS11 doesn't quite do all of that BUT he does want to hoard a lot of dumb shit in his room. Also he wants to have mass quantities of food and enough to take home and put in the fridge too, though he will never eat the leftovers. IE: earlier tonight FDH took him to McDonald's. The kid wanted THREE mcdoubles. He ate two, one went in the fridge. I basically told FDH that was insane, I, at 25 eat one of those things and I am content. An 11 year old should not need THREE and if he's that hungry, he can get something healthier. I think it comes from his mother being piss poor and him always having to compete with stepsiblings when he's with her.
Good info, and thanks for the
Good info, and thanks for the replies. Yes, I think the separation anxiety has something to do with this because what I was going to add now that I think about it is that Sd11 also, and this is also annoying, but she talks as if and acts as if she knows what goes on here at our house during the week she is with BM. She assumes and believes.
She also acts & talks as if she knows the financial arrangements, like who pays what in our house and even told BD that her dad buys all the food. They squablled about it and when I told SD that we share that expense, she was PISSED OFF and stmpped to her room. Infuriated that she doesn't know all.
She prefers being with her mom because while her mom is a fake, opportunistic con artist, home-wrecker WANNA BE, at least her mom doesn't completely ignore her. There are days when all Dh says to her is "put your pjs on." But her mom lives in a tiny house, it's decent, but tiny, and our house is big and nice, so in a perfect world, she would live in our house with her mom.
I know the kid is screwed up in the head, but dh and bm are never going to address it because their slime would show, plus they wouldnt want to spend their mony on her mental health. Sad. But the kid still annoys the hell out of me.
It could be a control thing.
It could be a control thing. She can't control where she is, what she can do, but she can control what she has or can obtain.
I would talk to her about it with your H/SO. Try to figure out why she might be doing these odd things.
While growing up my parents were foster parents, we had a total of 34 kids in and our of our house from the time I was 13 til they retired last year. The foster kids would do things like this, my parents would sit them down(alone) and ask them why they were doing what they were doing. And it was because of control. They had no say in what they could do, and never knew when they would leave to go to a new home. Usually after talking to my parent the behavior would slowly die down.
I know Skids and Foster kids are different but if you think aboutit they have a lot in common. They dodon't get a say in who's home they are at(BM or BD) rules are different in each home.
I would just talk to her about it.