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step kids have completely killed my feelings for biokids

mpatterson's picture

Submitted by mpatterson on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 1:03pm

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Bio Child Free Zone

So- My husbands kids are the worst kids I have ever come in to contact with. They are ugly, disrespectful, dumb, and completely spoiled. The past year with them was the worst year of my life and I am glad they have chosen to live with their mother because they didn't want to live in my house with rules and expectations.

The issue is that my husband and I have been so abused by those little bastards we now feel that having children of our own is not a option. Am I missing out on something??

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Submitted by NoWireCoatHanga... on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 1:10pm

yES. Your own biochild are like blank slates that you draw on with kindness, nurturing, instilling good values, and love and respect . draw those things on that blank slate and you'll get a lovely painting. Genetics is a big part of it. I won't lie. Are you intelligent and beautiful? Do you have the time to put into being a good mom?

I have four bios. I have four beautiful, gifted, well mannered respectful daughters who bring me utter joy. I had two stepchildren with the biomom from hell and they've inherited a lot of her nasty personality and are the spitting image of her so I get what you are saying. Now my fourth daughter is a baby and her dad is the parent of those two teens I just mentioned. I told him "Watch how our daughter turns out. Now watch how your two teens turn out. The difference is their mother!"

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 1:13pm

Did you want your own kids before this? I mean, really want them?

His kids did not get spoiled and disrespectful on their own, what kind of a parent is your DH?

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 1:23pm

^^Point^^ Also, don't forget that BM may die, go to prison, move to Antartica and those stepkids will be back under your roof, through high school and maybe college and maybe ... Consider if you break up and your baby(ies)will have visitation with these Skids. Think about who you want to father/parent your child; think about all the maybes ... then, if you feel strong and prepared and really want to be a parent --- go for it.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 08/05/2015 - 2:17pm

THIS

So his kids are ugly, dumb, disrespectful,spoiled...

It sounds like this guy has bad genes and is an awful parent. I would be afraid to have a child with someone like that.

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 1:56pm

bios can bring hell and divorce. the worst thing in the world is for birth parents to castrate themselves out of guilt and sacrifice their marriages to spoiled brats. with your own children, you have more control over how the children turn out.

Annoyed1's picture

Submitted by Annoyed1 on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 2:21pm

No!! Lol! I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by not having kids. I didn't like kids before I met DH and I like them even less now. I do not want kids EVER!!! Only 4 more years until his youngest is 18 and then we can get on with our lives. But to be fair, I've never wanted kids. I've always known that I would never have any. I see my friends with their kids and they're happy enough, but I've made my career my baby and I couldn't be happier Smile I have my dream job and don't have to deal with all that kid stuff! I enjoy my freedom and enjoy having money in the bank. I guess I'm selfish like that Wink

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 4:13pm

You are only missing out if you choose to feel you are missing out. I have no bio spawn and I feel that I have missed nothing. Don't get me wrong. Kids are great. I love kids.

But, they are not the be all and end all of life. Anyone who makes them the be all and end all is doing no one any favors.

abitguarded's picture

Submitted by abitguarded on Wed, 08/05/2015 - 2:02pm

I personally do not feel that I have missed out on anything. I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 23 and have never had children. My husband (at the time), which I was married to for 15 yrs was ok also not having children.

Since I divorced, I have have been with men that do have children. I can honestly say, my life does not feel any more fulfilled when they are around. I am strong, independent, and extremely happy with having a companion (SO). He is a wonderful man and we are working to enjoy life to the fullest.

His daughter, now 10, and I do not get along....long story there. I can say I do believe in him having a relationship with her is important, but I don't feel that she and I being close is necessary.

Do not have children because it is simply the "norm." Enjoy your life!