I think there's no problem with going on a trip with just "your" family. The skids go places with their mom without their half-brother (your son). It's only natural that you might take family weekends away when the skids aren't there with just your kid(s) and DH.

Do what you want, life is not equal....you only have one life, and people who do not like it just need to get over it and grow up.

I don't see anything wrong with vacationing with out the stepkids I feel the same way sometimes you just want it to be your little family. Don't feel guilty.

It's normal for you to feel the way you do. It's also normal for your husband to refuse to include all of his kids in a FAMILY vacation.

There's nothing wrong with you thinking you, husband and son when you think of family.

There's nothing wrong with him thinking you, him and his 3 children when he thinks family.

He may very well agree with you on your idea of a family vacation. But he isn't out of line if he doesn't.

I mean I left my BS1 to take SS5 to Disney World with DH this past summer. It was for a week and it was the hardest thing I had to do. Now while I would understand my DH feeling bad because SS has to miss a vacation here or there in the future, I've done it for him so I would hope he would give me the same consideration. Our son shouldn't miss out on activities because he has other obligations. Just a warning though, another poster here had kind of had a vacation problem with her DH and SS and it caused big problems. Maybe y'all should sit down and talk about how future vacations will go before you even start planning so everyone is on the same page.

I don't see a problem with going on a vacation without the skids either, but I think it all depends on how your DH sees it. My DH is aware of most of the issues that I have when we vacation with the skids and he is also annoyed by the skids too. I don't have guilt about not going on vacations with the skids. I've been on enough vacations with them to know that I hate vacationing with them. I'm in the same boat as you. Since we've had DS1, we have not gone on any vacations, but I foresee doing extended weekend trips with DS and not take the skids.

When I first met my DH I thought he and his 2nd wife were horrible for taking her kids (plus a friend for each) on great vacations but excluding DH's son (same age as his SS). That's until I heard the details of SS's HIDEOUS behavior starting at age 5 (long before DH married his 2nd wife).

SS (now 30) had his first in patient psych stay at age 5. It was recommended that he spend a YEAR in a psych hospital full time. That's not trivial. That's way more than just a child who acts out a little. He spent almost 4 years in juvie as a teen until he aged out - for an unknown offense - that again is not trivial.

So there's no one answer. In my DH's case his son unfortunately was an out of control budding sociopath with violent tendencies (and actions). No way any normal person would inflict him on a "family" vacation.

But most children are not that bad. They may not be your cup of tea - but they are not horrible people like my SS.

Vacations though are supposed to be "vacations" - mostly for working people (yes even work at home SAHMs) to get a break from everyday life. Most people want to share this time with their nearest and dearest which often includes their children.

I don't fault spouses who don't want their skids during their vacation time. But one also has to accept that the spouse who is the parent of these skids may not be part of that vacation. In other words - feel free to take your children to DisneyWorld without your skids - but your DH (or DW) may not want to come along without their children.

I'm kind of opposite. We don't have any kids with us full time mine not his. DH is always wanting to take trips with his kids but he never offers to take my kids anywhere. When we visit them he even complains about taking them to dinner and the cost but has no issue doing things for kid kids. This bugs the crap out of me.

We don't have any of our kids full time either, the youngest 15, then 17, then two 20 yr olds. When DH and I got together we agreed that if we could not take all four then no one would be going on vacation with us.

Neither set of kids wanted to blend at all...given their ages and that they choose not to be around each other...so all our vacations were without them.

DH and I have no bio children as we were both of retirement age when we got together. I have multiple Disney Vacation Club time share accounts because I am a Disney fanatic. SS30 whined to me that he'd never been to DW because his mother was so poor.

Bullshit - She's had a professional job (as a biologist) with the same hospital for over 30 years. She also had a paid for house and car from the divorce. To be fair - BM has never pled poverty - only SS. She didn't take SS to DW because she didn't want to. That's fine - not everyone wants to take their children to DW.

SS was an adult when I met DH - no way I felt any obligation to provide him with Disney vacations - no matter how much he whined. Now that he has a child with his GF he goes on and on about how the baby (even at 4 months old) loves Disney. Still does not compel me to provide Disney vacation for them.