Recently, I posted about the argument I had with FH regarding whether SD11 should stay here over her Christmas break (in General Discussion). Basically, I requested SD go with BM since FH was working graveyard shift and my BS13 wasn’t here either. I was painted as uncaring at first, but FH eventually obliged.

Now BM is at the usual drama again. She’s calling to consult with FH about how SD11 is overweight for her age (only 6 pounds lighter than her mother; but not obese by my view, because she’s very tall for her age.) BM is also insisting we watch what SD eats. Funny! ‘Cause we’re a “have fruit for a snack” kind of household. Even FH told SD she eats like a grown man! And let’s not even mention that FH has full custody of SD because BM GAVE IT UP VOLUNTARILY. So why does BM need to micromanage this? Hell! She doesn’t even show up at SD’s games or pick her up from the house. It’s almost always BM’s mom.

Exception: During Christmas Day pick up, I took EXTREME pleasure standing there silently making BM feel terribly uncomfortable during the exchange! It was all smiles and friendly chatter until I stepped out onto the porch. She was backed into a corner and couldn’t find a reason to cause a stir, because it was ME that pushed SD to be at her house. And she knew it. Basically — “You got what you wanted, b!+<#. Now what? Oh? Nothing? Just frigid looks? That’s what I thought.”

I was sitting next to FH when BM called about this weight issue. I could tell he was trying to diffuse it. I’m sure she was referencing when SD11 talked about how much my BS13 eats. This was how SD defended herself when FH pointed out her eating habits; I retorted that BS is skinny as a rail and SD took it as me calling her fat. Nope. I just pointed out that my son eats a lot and has a fast metabolism.

I know SD likes to give a special report about what goes on here every time she returns to BM, presidential address style. (SD seeds the drama regularly.)

So I sit back and giggle inside. Because I was vilified for being involved with SD. All those times I brought her to — and cheered at — her softball games ALONE... all those times I tutored her on her toughest subjects... all those times I picked her up from after school care when BM had more important things to do... all those times SD cried that her mom didn’t care about her and I encouraged (lied to) SD that BM did... all those times, after all I’d done, SD straight up lied to BM to make me look like the villain... all those times SD made cracks at me or my BS with no correction from FH. And even though FH “insisted” that I take the reigns at home, he DESPISED it when I put SD in her place.

Petty, still-carrying-a-torch BM and Disney dad have thrown all my goodwill and efforts out the window. SD’s weight issue is not MY issue. Frankly, I don’t care to extend my hand only for it to be slapped in the end. I was told by BM to step off; and FH implies the same if it doesn’t benefit SD, FH and FH’s perfect ideal of a family. As a result, I refuse to offer my guidance.

It feels good to be hands off, especially when you get to see others struggle and flounder in the absence of your support. Part of me says I shouldn’t relish this, but it’s the perfect “be careful what you wish for” moment — especially since I’m the one who spends the most time around SD. Maybe one of these days, BM and/or FH will renege. Until then, it’s que sera, sera. With pleasure beyond measure. Don’t F with me!