I am angry FOR you!! How dare she think she can dictate your life? IMO, my DH would not be going. A 20 years SD, incarcerated no less, and apparently not learning her lesson? I'd say it's time for some tough love on DH's part. When I was 17, I got put in jail, not for anything serious or damaging, and my father was my world, he refused to come see me, write me or send anything until I proved that I was really trying to make a change. He later told me that he did it because he loved me so much that he knew that if he "supported" my being in jail, that I would figure I had nothing to lose since nothing on the outside changed. It has stayed with me all thsese years later, that if I keep screwing up, eventually there will be nowhere to go.

In any other situation, I would encourage you to go, but in this case, you DO have to be on a list, or call the jail and see if spouses are allowed w/ BP's. Either way, my DH would NOT be going w/o me. Why would ALLOW SD or BM, who is going to be there too and gloat about having DH and the kid to herself for awhile, more power?

But you're right, even if things don't work out and you can't go when it's time, go do something, spoil yourself for being so understanding and unselfish. You deserve it!!
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

Respect my wife.

I'm sorry, but I don't agree. She is an adult. The faster she learns that daddy is married, the better. She should not be allowed to use such poor manners. Again, she is an adult. She doesn't have to love you. She doesn't have to like you. But she should have been taught enough manners to at least feign respect for you and your feelings. She's far too old for that kind of a tantrum and if daddy allows it, she'll have learned that it works.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

I don't think he should go without you... why give her an inch? She will surely take a mile... I would not EVER allow her to get her way.... this is an adult for Gods sake and someone needs to tell her to GROW UP!!

and I'm totally with you on the "Be the bigger person" phrase Bonus... I can't tell you how many times I have been told that along with "Take the high road".... and what? Ignore the insanity going on all around me? Pretend that its not affecting the children? Let her get away with everything and never react? Come on!! I strongly believe that once you let them get away with even something more they will only be encouraged to press for more and more to get away with.

Frankly, someone who treated me that way, I don't think I'd even WANT to go to her stupid GED graduation or whatever the hell it is. You could take this to heart and let it hurt you forever or you can maybe make the decision that - whew! - you're off the hook! That's one less person in your life that you have to cater to. Despite all her machinations, she'll never succeed in getting Mommy and Daddy back together and at her age, it's pathetic that she's playing it this way. Grow the hell up already! So send him off to his hour or two of purgatory - oops! I mean graduation - and you just be glad you don't have to sit there acting supportive of someone who treats you like shit in the presence of an ex who refuses to stay in Exville. Like Fearless says, it is definitely poor manners and very low class, but what can you really expect from this girl, considering her situation? Write her off, honey, and be glad you don't have to actively participate in her miserable, pathetic life.

~ Anne ~

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

First, poor Fearless - everybody send her cyber-decongestants

Did SD actually refer to you as "your wife"? That's how SD refers to me. The little snot knows my name, but refuses to use it - I guess she's afraid it'll make it personal to her that I'm actually a human being. I'm guilty of the same though - I sometimes refer to the skids as F-1, F-2, etc. (meaning Fugly 1, Fugly 2) - ouch, that looks MUCH worse when I type it than when I say it...

Anyway - a prison GED? Come on. Is he really going and will it be aired on Springer? Don't get me wrong - I empathize with this COMPLETELY. SD's 2 & 3 are both HS drop-outs and take turns living with a boyfriend, in jail, or in foster care (oh, no the 2nd is now back in her mom's home for 6 months 'til she turns 18, since we pointed out to the state that BM had been collecting child support for a kid in state's custody!)

Bust your booty in on that event or simply do not allow the man to go. Use your wiley ways. As we learned in "My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding" the man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head ANY way she wants!

Blueberry's Baby

I read your post to DH ... he said he'd still go ... it would be his son and he's going to support his son no matter what. Not sure how I feel about that ... I think I half expected him to say he wouldn't go ... guess I was wrong.

~ Katrina