I had to call my Daddy on my DH!!!

Okay, I know this isn't exactly about step-parenting but aside from Myspace, which most of my family is a part of, this is the only safe place I have to go.

So it all starts b/c I ask DH to spray the air freshner we have in the bathroom b/c I can smell his shit in the bedroom, where I was trying to put up clothes. He make the comment "How bout I just spray you on the head?" So I step into the bathroom and say "Excuse Me?" and threw a small tube of muscle rub at him, it hit the wall and then the floor, and so he picks it up and throws it at me and actually hits me with it. Well then I picked up anything that was on the sink and threw at him until I hit him with one of those 10 count cotton pad holders, real small, real light. He starts whining and then gets mad and shoves the shelf over that is in front of him. I started telling him "that's bullshit, that right there is bullshit." He tried to say something and I said "No, F**k that." and got in my vehicle and left. I did not get maybe 5 minutes down the road before I decided that he needed to be the one to leave for a bit, not me. So I get home and tell him to leave. Well, that starts a whole new set of problems. Suddenly we are not compatible, he wants a divorce, I need to be the one to leave, he is moving HIS paycheck into another account, I am a bitch, this is his house, yadda yada yadda. So I call my dad and tell him he needs to come get this asshole of my house.

While waiting for my dad to get here, I hear more of the same and after telling him that it is not his paycheck, that w/o me staying here with the kids he could not go and make the money he makes and that this is my house, I am not leaving, I finally tell him that I am not going to argue with him anymore. I have a really bad habit of sitting there and ignorning someone afterI have said what I want to say and they just talk in circles. I'll be damned if I am going to chase my damn tail!! Anyway, so he says that now I don't care about his feelings. I just sat there.

So my dad gets here and they go for a walk and talk for about 2 hours. When they get back , it's a whole different story. He's sorry, he doesn't really want a divorce, he only want to love me, he didn't mean it. Come on, waht was said? Hell, I don't know. I am a grown woman and it took my daddy to make my damn DH change his tune. Hmmm, wonder if brought the shotgun?

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Was dh just joking about spraying your head?

Or was he being sarcastic? Or was he just out and out being an arsehole? My dh and I pick at each other alot and that sounds like what your dh was doing, of course I wasnt there, so only you know for sure. Laughter, please do not get offended, but please dont throw things at another person.Small or large, missing the person your throwing the object at or hitting them, it is still and act of aggression and can only lead to the situation becoming more hostile. If your dh's comment was an argumentative one, then the type of action you took can only lead to more aggression(dh throwing it back at you and hitting you,shoving over a shelf ect.)where it might have just been better on your part to walk away and either let it go or cool down enough to tell dh that you felt his comment was out of line, you were just requesting a little courtesy spray. What led to all the aggression to begin with? Certainly it wasnt just the smell of him crapping, or saying he should spray your head...? It just sounds to me like there may be something underlying that led to the actions and words of anger(divorce, incompatability, name calling) that ensued. That maybe instead of discussing what was really was bothering you or him at the moment, something that could have/should have been brushed off was blown way out of proportion. It probably was a good idea that your father came over and took the time to talk to dh, but if the discussion took two hours or more, than there was more being discussed than crap smells and oinment flinging..ya know. I dont think your dad brought a shot gun, just a listening ear and obviously some good advice and that is what dh needed. Be thankful you have a father that is there for you both and be thankful that your dh is capable of admitting where/when he is wrong.

At first

It was all a joke. It became serious when DH shoved the shelf over out of anger. Apparently when I threw the cotton pad holder at him and hit him, he decided that he wanted to whine and I laughed. Now you have to understand that I am the type of person that takes another person at their word, even if it doesn't sound logical. Like, My DH is 6 feet tall and about 240 or so, very much the "Macho Man" and claims that he NEVER EVER gets physically hurt. He has said this so much, and yes, I know better but hey, he said it and he NEVER lies to me (said dripping with sarcasm)so I should believe him, right? So when he acts like something actually hurt him, I should assume he is joking and laugh. Well, apparently he was full of shit, he was trying to get me to feel sorry for him b/c he felt bad for hitting me with muscle rub first. As for the divorce and name calling, he claims now that it was his way of trying to get his way and get me to give in. When I asked him how that worked out for him, he said it did not and I informed him that the next time he threw those words out, he had better have the papers ready for mr to sign.

~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~