For our tenth anniversary. I think it will be nice for Anna, because she is going to see all those wedding pics with her siblings in them and probably feel left out!

I saw Holly Robinson Pete talk about her and Rodney Pete renewing theirs I think on their 10th as well. She said their kids would look at the pics and say, "I wish we were there too!"

Isn't that funny?

So we are planning on doing that.

Ironically, it will be when my youngest son is 18, but we didn't plan it that way.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

That really struck a chord with me, Wicked2Three. I know I lost myself, because myself was a mom first and foremost. Didn't matter if it was my kid or not, I always felt maternal towards all children in my life. Getting skids was great, because I had an additional outlet for all my maternal feelings. But it was also bad, because dealing with their mother definitely turned me into someone I did not recognize there for awhile and it really did take away some of the maternal feelings I felt for my skids. It's taken me awhile, but I've got myself back. It's a fine line, some days finer than others, but I figured out how to walk it without tipping too far over into one side or the other. I don't think you're being delusional. I've always said that as long as I can look at my husband and say he's still the man I want to grow old with, then I'll stick with it. I think there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep dreaming those dreams. Like you said, you've got staying power.

♥ ANNE 8102 ♥

Life isn't that disney fairy tale, where you marry the prince of your dreams. And there isn't a step daughter who is always trying to make you feel as if there is a war going on for daddy's affection. I missed that fairy tale, anyway, I too have come to grow close to my friends here, and especially when I read a post that shames or puts down someone for the sole purpose of being mean, I get red in the face. When I read posts that someone has had a great day w/out drama, it makes my heart smile. I'm greatful for this site, the people here who ARE stepparents, know and understand the way you are feeling, make you feel normal and not from another planet.

Becareful what you dream about. Disney says that dreams come true, but they also portray stepmothers are all wicked and evil. Wanting to be treated fairly, respected and be noticed is not something you should dream about. You deserve it. Why would you wait til last sk turns 18 to remarry? Do it if you feel like it - drama follows even the adult SK and sometimes even worse (that's experience talking in my experience).

I'm rambling, my point is make yourself happy, only you know what that will take.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

When DH and I married, we married in Las Vegas while we were passing through the town one day. There were no pictures and no family was there. So DH and I desided we would renew our vows every five years. We should have done it this year but could because of the Skids being dumped on us at a moments notice (not their fault).

DH didn't even realize how much it upset me that we didn't till two months later when I made SD11 go put up her photo album she kept waving in my face. She kept waving their (BM and DH's) wedding photos in my face. It got to me because they had a real wedding with the cake and everything.

We plan on renewing our vows still. DH said we can do it next year but I don't think so. I want to wait till all this drama in this house has calmed down. Maybe in 5 more years... maybe 10... maybe when they are 18. But I keep the dream with me too. It's a nice dream.

~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~

in all the drama and nonsense of the everyday life with the crazy BMs, the out-of-control stepkids and the blissfully unaware DHs/FHs/BFs/SOs in our lives! I know personally I just feel like I'm drowning. Somedays I want to get in my car and keep driving (and these days, that can get really expenseive! ;-))

But then I force myself to stop and turn on my computer and find you guys. Is it misery loves company or strength in numbers that gets me through? Makes me laugh out loud sometimes. Picks me up and gives me hope that it can get better. Sometimes your stories are truly heartbreaking- they want me to reach out and give you all big hugs. And sometimes, they are inspirational- and I know that with your contined support, I can get through this difficult time to a place when my DH and I can enjoy some peace and happiness.

Too sappy for early morning???
Well too bad- you guys have all kept me from literally falling off the deep end!

So I know exactly how you feel, Wicked!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

agreeing with Anne. I only JUST had the revelation about the BM AFTER SD moved out. It took me almost 10 yrs to figure out....apparently I am a slow learner (hehe). I DO NOT deal w/her anymore on any level. As a matter of fact, I don't deal w/the skids either. If he wants to see them, he will call them, there's NO need for me to get involved. I am also in agreement w/stepwitch, the adult skids are sometimes worse and can inflict more pain than the adolescent ones. Keep your head up.

your post really touched me, maybe cuz it hits so close to home
not too long ago about feeling empty b/c of all the drama of being a step parent. I did like you wicked2 -wake up one day with a revelation that FH's kids are his kids and therefore his problem, not to say that I dont care about them or for them. I just can not be a "mom" to the whole situation, it is not my job to fix it. not my job to worry cuz it was out of my realm of control.
but like Anne mentioned I look at my FH and know he is the man I want to spend my life with to laugh with and to wake up every morning to..I can put up with all of that till they all move out and away.
it took me over 4.5 yrs to see the light.
and I have this site to thank for it.
you all are my rock thank you!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

like I've said before...there should be a 12 step program for this. It took me a long time and much heartache before I stopped feeling so lost.

I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you're realizing where you 'fit' in this stepparenting fiasco.

((((HUGS))))

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

step 1
drink a glass of wine
step2-9 repeat step 1
my feeble attempt at humor..

"you love me you really love me!!"

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

I left out 10-12
step 10 go to step 1 and insert funnel
11-12 rinse and repeat.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."