I'm just wondering if anyone could give me some suggestions as to where I can look for support. I'm having a really hard time with my latest life drama and I have found much comfort and guidence here before so I just thought I'd ask.

This is difficult to say, but my mother has married a registered sex offender.

The story is long, and I apologize:

She met him in church a little over a year ago, he was 3mos out prison after serving a 5 year sentance. He told her of his status, but somehow told her in a way that she did not consider it a deal breaker.

My older sis and I wanted to believe his status was a mistake for our mom's sake and agreed to meet him. She had only known him a few weeks and already they were talking marriage and looking at houses together. Then we found out the whole story, (he had an innapropriate relationship with his stepdaughter whom he raised from the age of 4, eventually he was caught watching her shower through a two way glass he had installed over a whole he cut in his closet wall.She was 12.)

We had an intervention and begged my mother to end the relationship. WE then had a meeting with my mother, the man, two counselors and other family members. One of the counselors was a former CPS caseworker. I asked how my mother's relationship might affect the custody case for my stepdaughter, she confirmed that as soon as bm found out, we would quite possibly loose sd.

I told my mother then that if she continued the relationship with him, she would have to be cut out of her grandchildren's lives. The rest of the family said the same. My mother said it was over. It was not.

She went on going back and forth. Most of the time she was begging us to help her stay away from him, saying she didn't know why she would even consider doing this to our family. THen she would start talking to him again.

Finally, the day before final trial in our custody case she met with my sister and me and tells us she loves him and she is going to be with him and we just need to tell her what our rules are. I was 7 months pregnant with her first biological grandchild. My sister and I again begged her, she cried, but nothing changed.

The day after final trial, CPS came knocking on our door. It was unrelated to her, but it was allegations made by Bm and it was all to clear how fast it could happen. With a BM like we have, finding a sex offender in my family combined with her ability to lie would be tragic. I called my mother and told her that if he was her choice, she was leaving me with no choice but to cut off all contact with her. I told her it was the most painful thing i ever had to do, but it was unfair for her to put my children at risk.

Fast forward through a Bible study and a sobbing scene my sis and I made in front of her church family and I haven't spoken to her since about 6 weeks before the baby was born.

She moved away from all of our family, for a time she would not tell anyone where she was living. She started telling people that her family kicked her out of the family and forced to to go live with the man and that her family have declared her as dead, held a mock funeral for her including a casket and had a memorial service. All lies. Many of the family have had continued email contact with her.

She quit her church, her source of strength since her divorce from my father 7 years ago. By the way, my mother had never even been on a date since the divorce until this man.

She quit her job an lost her benifits.

Later, we found out from an unrelated person that she married the man, who is 8 years younger than she, two weeks after my baby was born. He was under house arrest by his parole officer for failing his annual polygraph test at the time of their marriage.

My mother has never seen her first biological grandchild.

Some days I'm okay, others I am a mess. My mother should have been at the birth of my child, she should be here now, I should be calling her with news of her granddaughters. But I can't.

I am so sad.

Please, tell me if the decision my husband and I have made makes sense. We spoke to the former CPS caseworker, our family law attorney and my personal therapist. All said that there is always a possibility that even if we NEVER allowed the man to meet our children, just the fact that my mother is married to him could be enough for CPS to take our children out of our home should BM ever find out. I know that sounds drastic, but if there is even the chance that a relationship between my mom and my kids could create a link to a sex offender and could result in my children having to suffer a terrible upset,even if it would only be during an investigation, WE WILL NOT RISK IT.

I looked up the 5 stages of grief and I think I'm in the bargaining stage.

Sorry this is so long, i would really appreciate any feedback. Please tell me if anyone has ever been through anything similar or known anyone who has. Or any suggestions on support groups for people who are now related to sex offenders?

Thank you in advance.