Hi All... new here so, Nice to meet you all!
I'm so glad I found this site because I'm just about to explode. Background...
Living with SO for 5 years, known his daughter since she was 4. We haven't gotten married because he asked daughter about us getting married and she doesn't want it (a totally other story which makes me fume!) She's jealous of me and doesn't want me here.
Her father can't get up to go pee without her following him and sitting on the floor outside the bathroom. She needs to cuddle every night with daddy on the couch, needs to sit next to him at restaurants, needs him to sit with her at the kitchen table while she takes an hour to eat dinner, hangs on him in the pool (runs her fingers through his hair, pulls his bathing trunks down, sits on his lap and asks him to do piggies on her toes. She needs him to help her shower and all she has to do is say "I wish I had ..." and he buys it for her. MAJOR issues with guilt leaving her.
He's making a monster because the girl doesn't want for anything. Ex gets paid 5000 a month child support FOR ONE CHILD ( he is a professional) and yet tells daughter she can't afford things so ask dad to buy it.
This 9 year old has so much that she constantly says she's bored because she can't make up her mind what to play with. Each weekend we have her she's getting new toys and basically makes our menu (example is pancakes with a can of cherry pie filling, lunch is McDonalds, dinner is a hamburger with a HUGE bowl of ice cream for dessert). She talks to me with total disrespect and daddy doesn't correct her. If I tell her to do something she cries and daddy consoles her. He's a HUGE control freak with me, yet baby girl can walk all over him.
If I make plans to do something while she's here he yells at me, telling me I'm not helping him. I told him I didn't help him conceive her and that just pisses him off. He said I knew what I was getting into, which I did, after all I knew he had a child. What I didn't know was that she was going to be a princess that snaps her fingers and daddy runs like a dog.
He shows me no affection while she's here because he's too busy treating her like his girlfriend. They even cuddle at restaurants while they sit next to each other and I'm left sitting on the other side of the table, where I receive looks from other diners wondering why a grown man and little girl have their arms around each other and are cuddling like two teens on a date.
I've talked to ex wife and she is appalled. She stopped cuddling in her house because she thought daughter was retarding mentally by staying too immature. She even leaves daughter home for 20 minutes while she runs to store on occassion. In my house we can't leave her in room by herself because I keep hearing, "where's daddy? Why isn't daddy here? When is daddy coming back into the room? We also hear, "What are we doing after we finish playing this game? What will we do after that? What are we doing tonite?
I'm at my wits end. I've told him that he will regret this behaviour when she gets about 13.
We have her for a week starting tomorrow and he asked her over the weekend to email us a list of what foods she would like. Of course she forgot, so I'll go tomorrow food shopping only to have her get here and want the exact opposite of what I bought. SO told her she has to do worksheet everyday to go over things she learned in school last year (so she should already know this stuff) and she needs to get at least a 70 to get dessert that night. I told him tonite I expect him to stick to that and I got "Well you know that's really not fair because it's vacation for her, so she shouldn't be punished"..wtf? He was the one who told her she needed to do this. I told him she knows there's no reprocussions for what she does wrong. Dad may says he's going to do something, but in the end he blows it off. I told him to just not make any rules instead of making them and then showing her he's a liar. She doesn't respect him.
Thanks for listening to me vent. I've watched a wonderful 4 year old turn into a spoiled little brat who has an entitlement complex.