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Attention Span...

SecondGeneration's picture

I've said it before that I am someone that thinks its always best to tell the truth in an age appropriate way. Though, with my family tree I think it confused my SD a little!
My SD3 stb4 and she loves looking at photos, I rarely see my family now due to moving here and so I keep some photos on display. One of my father and step mother, one of my and all my step siblings (thats about 10 years out of date) and another of my with all my step siblings and my step father. The only person that is missing is my BM since shes generally behind the camera!
Anyway, SD will often ask to look at these photos and will point and name each person, however the first time I told her that the photo was my mum and dad, as my SM has always been mum to me, I've always had 2 mums; or one mum and one mother. Unfortunately given that my SD is so young that really confused her so I did explain shes not my "real" mum so SD started calling her a princess instead (because shes wearing a pretty dress in the photo).

Last time she was looking at the photos she stated "thats your daddy and that there is a lady, shes a mummy...but shes not YOUR mummy shes your step mother".
I was a little surprised since step mother isn't a term I can recall using around her so I ask "Thats right, do you know the difference between a real mummy and a step mother?"
Thats when my SO had to stop himself from laughing as my SD, who looked like she was really concentrating stated that "actually can I have tomatoes and cucumbers with my dinner and not peas?"

Attention span of a... three year old! But hey, it shows a level of understanding!

Im thinking to keep opening the conversation like we do but I have absolutely no idea as to how to make it easier to understand to someone her age!

Maxwell09's picture

Its adorable that she thought your stepmom was a princess. If only all stepkids thought of us as the princess and not the evil stepmothers lol

Orange County Ca's picture

The story of the Princess and the pea comes to mind. Perhaps she associated that in her mind.

BethAnne's picture

We avoided using the term "step" for a long time with SD6. I was just BethAnne and she knew that her dad and I had gotten married. When we played make believe she would often cast me in the mom role. Then on mothers day this year SD was with us and for some reason (I think she was trying to say that I was bit like a mom to her but not her mom) it came up so I said to SD that some people would call me her stepmom and that she was my step daughter and she seemed to like those terms and I think it helped cement in her mind our relationship to each other. Since then I've heard her tell her friends that I am her stepmom.

We avoided the word for a long time because we want to avoid her having "step"siblings when they eventually come along we just want them to be her brothers or sisters. Now that she knows the word I think she is a lot happier being able to explain who I am to others and so that she knows what role I play in her life.