That's all you can do. IF they have divorced-then it's no longer his responsibility to take care of things in her household and she should not use the kids to get him to do for her.

I kind of went through this with my partener at first. BM would call wanting money or medicine for kids, or ask him to buy things because she had lost her job and was broke. I finally told him that it had to stop. She also had BF who she was talking about marrying and had been living with since she moved out and asked for a divorce.

It is in their court order that each parent is to take care of the daily needs of the children when they are in that parents care. In our case it's joint custody with equal time so no support is paid or anything. However my partener would say "Well if it's for the kids.... " or" I don't do it for her...." But really she benefits from it too and to me that's not just "for the kids" is it?

I pointed this out and asked him what he thought would happen if he didn't buy the shoes she asked him too, or the allergy medicine etc. If she is any kind of mother at all her kids will not go without simply because her X refuses to take care of it. Once my BF stopped doing for his X she stopped excepting him too. She took care of it herself or relied on her new man to help her out-which is how it should be. If he continues to let her rely on him for every little thing then she always will and later down the line it will only cause a wedge to come between the two of you.

If I were you I would tell him how you feel and ask that he cut the ties. Maybe it doesn't bother him, but it bothers you and if you are trying to move forward in your relationship you can't have that stuff coming between you. Besides that why does he wait weeks later to tell you about these things? That would indicate in my opinion that deep down he knows it's not right or fair to you. He shouldn't have to be nice to have his kids more. He should have his kids more because it's what's best for the kids.

If he has been getting the kids more that can work to your advantage should he take the issue into court and have visitation modified. If he documents the "extra" time she is giving him then the judge very well my rule in favor of more equal time shared between the bio parents. Wouldn't it be nice to have the kids more and not have to be at X's beck and call? I'm sure he would agree that it would.

Mine does the same exact stuff for his ex and it pisses me off. I usually find out from his daughter (10) thing's that have gone on - and it usually ends in a HUGE fight with BF.

BF justifies it by the same exact excuse your guy gives you. I will do whatever if it means that I can see my kids some more.

Meanwhile I have had HIS two children for the past two weeks. Meanwhile the Biotch has received 2 or 3 child support checks in the amount of $155.00 each and she took about a week to drop the kids clothes off at the house. The kids also eat our food like termites, chomping 24/7... And of course they leave every light on in the house and turn the a/c down and of course his son takes 1-hour showers "who pay's for this? ME"

Meanwhile: Her (Biomom)'s house is nasty, infested with roaches and rats and she drinks like a fish. She has been dating a married man for around 2 years now and cries to BF that she doesn't understand why the kids would be happy if he married me but don't want her to marry her BF... Gee doesn't her BF have to be divorced before he can propose? Every day I want to call child services on her but I don't want to stir the pot of trouble. But it's ridiculous.

She has BF drive out to her house (25) minutes away so that he can drive his daughter 1-mile away from her house, just so she can get her son to school which is by her work and our house. Then if she needs anything fixed she turns to my BF to do it.

I tell BF all the time to just go back to her ASS if she is that "NEEDY"... I raised my oldest son on my own and yes he is coming around now but if I needed something fixed in my house I surely wouldn't call an ex to do it. I would do it myself., get a relative or neighor to fix it etc.

The Biotch even had the nerve to tell me:

"You knew this when you met him, he had two kids from a previous relationship and he does it for the kids sake"!!!

Yeah WELL my response to that was:

"You knew when you had your two children, the first while still married to your ex husband and just before BF's final divorse what you were getting yourself into... You had two children with him, never married him! And your the one who wanted to PARTY, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE and KISS HIS BUTT GOODBYE because you couldn't stand him! So maybe you should think about that! Because you knew what the results would be when you got yourself into this mess"... YOU CHOSE TO BE A SINGLE MOM, WHEN HE DIDN'T MAKE THE CHOICE FOR YOU... So since you made your Bed you can Lay in it :-)"

I felt that was a good come back.

Part of moving on, is being independent! Why not invite your ex-boyfriend over to help with your house and see how your BF reacts to that.

I have entertained the idea. LOL

Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.

BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.

Isn't it a wonder sometimes?!?! Man, sometimes I really wish that the courts were reading these posts! lol. Won't that be something...