Perhaps she wishes she had those things- a partner, more kids, etc. Maybe she's regretting the divorce. Maybe before the divorce, she thought the grass would be greener on the other side and has realized it isn't. Maybe all of those things together.

BM in my situation wanted out of the marriage too. So she began to have affairs. Once the marriage ended and DH got with me, she started to go berserk.

What I realized after awhile of having her in my life was that she was probably depressed, angry and likely has a mental illness. When someone has any or all of those things going on, logic often goes right out the window. Knowing that helped me to be a lot less surprised and upset each time she acted this way.

I think that for many, moving on is a lot easier said than done, and it must be especially hard when you still have to interact with the ex because of kids you share.

My DH's exW kicked him out TWICE, and then when I came on the scene - seemed like she decided she'd made a mistake and wanted him back. Talk about dog in the manger. And we have had 11 years of hell from her.

Sounds right to me. They leave the marriage and flip the frig out when dh moves on. I'm so frustrated with my position regarding bm I'm tempted to leave my marriage and let her have dh back. So very very tired of drama I did Not manufacture haunting me at every turn.

BM left FDH for another married man,... Then that married man didn't leave his wife,..... but FDH had already met me....
So BM found another married man, and after two years, he has finally left his wife.....
Now FDH and I are getting married and just built and moved into our own home which BM and him only rented before, and now BM STILL only rents.... added to that she have up her kids for this first man....

So I can see how she is jealous, I have the life she could have had, if only she had stayed....

Husband , kids, house....

Is be jealous if I were in her shoes and realized how royally I had screwed up my life.

SS's BM had more than one affair but was actually caught on the last one. DH says that he had checked out long before that.

DH started the divorce proceedings but BM didn't believe DH would go through with it.

She had a new BF, a nice house and I think she was happy plus DH and her were "friends" for the sake of the child.

I truly think she thought DH would never get over her find someone else and when he did and she quite holding all the cards she has been bitter every since.

After that her BF ran off with a younger woman and she had to go to work. I am sure she regrets some of her decisions because now DH is no longer there to pick up the pieces and support her.

BM had kicked my husband out for the 3rd time and was pissed when he wouldn't go back to her. She cheated on him throughout the whole marriage, always went on about how unhappy she was, blah, blah, blah.

She did not love him, it was merely a control thing. She seriously thought she could treat him like garbage and because she had his kid, he would keep going back to her. She was only interested in him as an extra paycheck and someone to take care of the kids (1 of which was not his).

So, yeah, she is bitter because he finally said, "No." And she did this: :jawdrop:

My husband kicked my stepson's mother out of his house. After 3 weeks he met me. She took the child and disappeared for almost a year. When she got tired of raising a child, she decided to come back and wanted to get back together with my husband. When she found out he already had someone, she started to be evil. It did not work for her and I bet she scratches her face every day because she does not have the life she thought she was going to. On top of everything, I am raising her child.
So, I guess...there is karma and it always pays for someone's bad deeds and evilness.
And we are going to have a beautiful baby girl.

In my situation FDH dumped BM because she cheated on him. The most disturbing this of it all is she had Fss around the end of July and she cheated on FDH 3 months later. Scanless right?

Anyway, when FDH left BM her attitude was like, "I dont need you, you're lucky to have had me" and she went thru guy after guy. Well after 3 yrs after them being broken up FDH and I reconnected (we were good friends in high school) and when he told her that he wanted her to meet me she flipped her sh*t and suddenly wanted him back. When i First met her I dont think i was what she expected because when she saw me her face dropped and she looked at the ground the whole time. I was irked because I got off the car to be polite and I had to be the first to speak up and say, "hi I'm msg1986" and she just said, "... hey" and turned around. Afterward she called FDH and told him that I was a lot prettier than she expected but that she's still the hottest girl FDH will ever have had and that I was SO rude to her and blah blah blah." It was stupid.

Honestly I think she's just mad/jealous because when she and FDH were together they lived in a crappy apt for the 9 mo she was pregnant and he was trying to do the right thing because he got her pregnant he also was a bonafide stoner and they drove crappy cars and never had any money. Fast forward to Now he's moving up in his career because he's taking his job seriously, we just built a home, he hasn't smoked pot since we began dating, we have a brand new car and he actually wants to marry me.

Ladies, it's because they had a crappy relationship with our DHs, and tried to blame their relationship problems and subsequent cheating on how "awful" DH was to them. They'd like the world to believe (and to believe themselves) that "DH was a bad husband/ father/ etc" and that he was responsible. However, now they see DH being a good partner to us (and even more of a family guy now that DH is not with them) and they get their dirty panties all in a wad.

They wanted the happy marriage and family with DH. They didn't get it and now see that he's capable of it... just wasn't interested in it with them.

I'm guessing that many of the BMs who cheated also tricked the DHs into having a baby? (she was on birth control, etc?) My skids' BM did both, I think they go hand in hand....

She wanted a happy family and marriage with DH, he didn't love her or want to be with her, so she "accidentally" gets pregnant knowing he will then marry her, he's a good guy so sticks it out with her, but they are miserable and he has an obvious dislike and resentment of her, he avoids and ignores her whenever possible, so she cheats hoping that he will beg for her back or get jealous, but he doesn't, they divorce, she pretends to be ok with that because "he sucks," but then she has to watch him proceed to find a woman who he loves and is a good partner to, he continues on to have the happy family and marriage with the stepmother (and skids), going on vacations together, etc for a while she thinks she can still ruin his life and punish him for not loving her by using the kids and attempting to interfere in his life, but she figures out that she can't. Life goes on, he's happy, skids are happy, stepmom is HOT. All of this happens without her! Sound familiar to anyone????

HAHA BITCHES.

She’s jealous. Your DH has the “big happy family” fantasy that she wants but doesn’t have. My SD’s BM is the same way. Her and DH were never married, but with the way she acts, they might as well have been. She hates me because I am smarter, better looking, more successful, and MARRIED. She has 3 kids by 3 different men and none of them married her.. no career.. no house.. nothing. So if I were her, I guess I would hate me too haha! Think of it as a compliment

My husband divorced BM because she cheated on him, too. She cried through the whole thing...the deposition, court, the whole nine yards. Six years later I'm pretty sure she's still in love with him.

Sometimes she realizes she screwed up. Sometimes she didn't realize it until another woman recognized him a worth having.

Mostly its that they expected him to go into mourning for the rest of his life and when he didn't they have to punish him. "How dare he have a life without me".

For that type of BM, it's all about control. She wanted to have the control of being able to hurt him, so she left him. She wanted to continue to exert control, so she used "we have kids together" or "it's good for the kids" as justification to control him.

When SM arrives on the stage, that entire dynamic usually gets thrown out of whack and usually sooner than later. Bio-dad isn't in mourning for the lost relationship; he is *happy*! There goes her control over being able to hurt him. SM recognizes that Bio-dad is being used by BM and often is able to stop him being the errand boy and walking ATM. There goes BM's control over his actions.

She will do anything to regain this control.

Baffles me too! our BM walked in one day after 9 years marriage and said 'I'm out', sent her daughter to live with her BF and SS to love with DH, when it came time to sign divorce papers she refused - more so because I think she thought DH would be pining over her instead of moving on to marry me!!

Yes, very normal, you are not alone , they are Narcissistic, very common:

The women move on and think their ex will never re-marry or have a family. They want it that way sadly, and when the men move on these women gear up for battle that is until they are happy, which sadly may never happen.

Im assuming this woman is not happy in her personal life, probably wants the family feeling back again

Im sure she feels she made a mistake..

But all you can do is NOT take her personal, know that her actions are because she is fighting a personal battle within herself, you can try every attempt wonder why she doesn't just want to "get along" and will not matter.

Unhappy souls will never change unless they choose to, therefore anyone they feel as a threat will be a target.You my dear are a threat, your marriage is a threat ect. to this woman

The best you can do is not let it eat you alive, if you are in a custody battle of any kind, make sure you document any emails, texts or comments on her part.
Try to limit all communication from her to strictly email or text for future court documentation and to bring a bit more peace to your life.

Yep. BM left DH. She met a guy (the skids boyscout leader, lol) and began a relationship with him 6 months before I met DH. What did it take to make her crazy? Seeing DH & I holding hands at a skid function!! Thats All it took!!! Then she "wanted him back". Ha!! Not this time, DH was happy & in love with Me!!! She went crazy when he told her "that ship has long since sailed" and to quit it. She stayed with that guy & married him about 6 mos after DH & I got married. When we got engaged, she then got engaged. See a pattern?

Oh the crazy nutball stuff she used to do!!! She would most likely have sex with her man that was also living with her & the kids- wait for him to go to sleep- then start texting DH!!! "I miss you, what if we made a mistake. Dont we owe it to ourselves to try." Crazy stuff to be texting a now remarried man, huh? My favorite was the 4 page email she sent to DH at 4 am on OUR wedding day!! Proclaiming her love to him, asking crazy crap like "will you even stay in the skids lives now that She has changed you?" Omg!!!! Crazy crazy crazy!!! After the 20th or so call on Both our cellphones the Day of our wedding-- DH & I shut them both off & threw em in our car!!!!! We really had no other choice & we were not gonna let her ruin our happy day!!!!!!! Nutso crazy!!

Shes sent me disgusting vile texts until I blocked her off both mine & DHs phones!! Things ranging from "when he has sex with you, he really has to pretend its me hes making love to".. Nasty isnt even the word! She then started in on my Inlaws- telling them crap like "shes so insecure, its sad really". Then her & her new DH (who shes obviously NOT happy with) would start telling bs to anyone who would listen that Im "jealous of her & that they feel *sorry* for DH, cause he deserves *better then me* which is pathetic but still she causes soooo much drama for a woman who **wanted** to Divorce DH in the first place!!!! She filed, so I couldnt figure out what her issue was.......

Then I found This place!!!! What a Godsend!! It truly saved my marriage!!! I started realizing its NOT about these BMs *truly* loving our Men, Our DHs!!! Its simply one thing::: CONTROL:::

Before we came into the picture (us Smoms) BM had alot more control over our DHs. She controlled how often and how & when he would see the kids. She controlled his money too "oh I really need to buy Little Johnnie some new clothes but I dont have any money-- if you can give me $250, you can even have more time with Johnny while I go shopping". The point is **she Knew how to get to DH!! She knew what strings to pull & when. Our BM is also a bigtime Narcissist!! Read up about it-- see if your BM is too-- ya might be very surprised at how shes got all the signs of it!!!

My Honest suggestion to you: Put BM in Her place!! De-throne her. Take YOUR rightful spot- hand in hand Beside your DH!!!! How to do that is actually pretty easy- but you MUST get your DH to fully agree & do this as well:

EVERY phone call from her goes straight to : Voicemail. Tell her that too. That DH will listen to it, and only return Urgent/Energency calls & only about the kids!!!!

No more texts. Period. No matter how vile she gets-- do NOT respond- not once. Block her from texting either of you.

EMAILS ONLY! She will quickly realize your trying to ** Document** her craziness & she may even fall in line. ONLY respond if its about the kids!!! Respond in a very business like manner. No emotions. In as few words as possible.

Trust me!!! It WORKS!! BM gave up after about a month. No more crazy phone calls all hours of the day & night. No more crazy interrupting texts that go off like fireworks!!! No more BM up in my face!!!

DH & I became a whole lot happier without her constant burage into our Daily lives!! Trust me its Awesome & if theres ONE thing these nutjob BMs HATE? Its being IGNORED!!! Saying nothing at all-- actually--- IS like having the final word!!!!

Best of luck to you all!!!

I'm in the opposite. My ex left me and my daughter 4 years ago.
And the way he treats me you would think I left him.
I never understood this, since he already moved on many times with different women and was expecting his second baby at the time(with my best friends brothers now ex gf) confusing? lol.
I used to get harassing texts from him, borderline abusive then I started going out with SO and he has backed off.
Now its trouble in paradise, my ex has split up from BM2 and moved in with his parents.
I do believe in karma, at the same time I dont wish anything bad upon him. It took me many years to get over him now that I am it is like being set free.
I think it all comes down to control, they want you to still be in love with them and when they see you've moved on or you just dont care(i would ignore the texts), they back off.
Ignorance really is bliss!

I still can't work the BM out in my situation. I think she was probably trying to teach SO a lesson when she kicked him out, but it was pretty drastic. They were never married but had 2 kids. They sold the house they were living in and she went and rented with the kids and he moved back to the house they had from when they first met. He met me while he was at that house. She was reasonable in the beginning, while she still thought she was in charge, and I a piece on the side. When she'd come to pick up the kids she'd just walk straight through the front door and move around the house anywhere. I think she was being territorial. I think she always thought as the mother of his kids she could snap her fingers and have him back. My SO was asking me to move in, I owned my own home less than 5 mins away. I suggested that if he wanted me to move to his house, he had to stop letting BM in the bedrooms etc. So he kept her at the front door from then on. She went beserk and the next time she saw me at a drop off, SO wasn't there, so I waved to her from the front door, she started throwing the kids bags at me - Missed lol! Things have never got better, in fact, I have not seen her since. She calls all the time, carries on like an idiot. I don't get involved. We bought a new house together and I won't allow pickups anywhere near our home. We have heaps of issues that I think without BM would not exist, but my SO isn't unfortunately, intelligent enough to handle things in a way that would indicate to BM she has lost control of him.

I at times feel like princessmofo, and have told my SO to go the hell back to BM so I can get her crazy out of my life. Then he'd only have one woman to deal with, cause I certainly wouldn't be interested in chasing him.

BM "kicked" out FDH months before we met, she was the one screaming divorce. Until he met me....now I'm the homewrecker and the reason she kicked him out. They are all bitter and delusional!

BM pretends to like me and I play nice with her. I have one of those DH's who crosses the line between cordial over into friendly. I don't like friendly.
DH had a rocky relationship with BM for the 1st 4 years. BM wanted out of her house so she got herself knocked up at 18. DH brought along 2 kids from a previous(he was older than she), DH was a DRUNK!!!! So they divorced but got back together 3 years later. They never got remarried, in fact DH had already told BM he intended to leave because he couldn't stand her when he was drunk, so he damn sure couldn't stand her when he was sober. BM conveniently came up pregnant a month after that conversation. So Dh stayed for 2 more years because of the baby he didn't want. BM is screwing a repairman anyway. She still screwed DH from time to time. Then I came along. So their relationship from beginning to end lasted 17 years.
Even though BM had a live-in BF, she was irate when my husband started dating me. She was crushed when we married and bought a house.
I think it really grinds her gears that I have a good marriage and I didn't have to get pregnant to con a man into being with me. We have a house twice as big as hers, not trying to sound like a B, but I do a lot to help myself look my best and BM is kinda run-down looking. BM is alone because her live-in cheated on her. Yeah, I think she has issues with my happiness, and just today I spoke with my DH about crossing the invisible line into "friendly", and told him what seems like innocent kindness to him is an ego trip for her and she knows and loves the fact that it pisses me off.
I think DH will think first more often when it comes to BM now, and he asked me to let him know when I feel slighted. The only problem I have with it is that BM's ego boost and her ha ha ha is at my expense. I don't want her to have that!

Oh Jellybeam, you sound like me a year ago..."BM pretends to like me and I play nice with her. I have one of those DH's who crosses the line between cordial over into friendly. I don't like friendly." I don't like friendly, haha, I love that. Me either. DH's mistake (BM), ugh, he cannot stand her, but he was still always so accommodating, so nice. Piss on that. He isn't anymore, FINALLY, but it took going thru absolute Hell for that to happen, and evn now, after all we have been thru, he still gives her too much power. She got knocked up on purpose too, not to get out of her house, but to cover up her lesbianism. BM never loved DH, she just used him as a beard, but she was so jealous of our relationship because it was real and she was living a lie. I am the same way about BM now. She is a dreadful awful looking thing and I, even though I have 20 pounds of baby/stress weight after this last year to lose, I still keep myself up and put out the effort to look nice. She does not. She is gross. She looks as if she has just given up on herself all the way. I TOTALLY get the whole, " The only problem I have with it is that BM's ego boost and her ha ha ha is at my expense. I don't want her to have that!" DH is repulsed by BM, he is embarrassed by her. He hates himself for ever sticking it in something so mediocre and beneath him, drunk college guy at the time/paper bag situation...lol, but when he lets her cry on his shoulder, confide in him, force friendship on him, just because he knocked her up (supposedly), is such a boost for her, it makes her think she has the status she has always craved. It makes her think she means something to him, and I cannot stand that. She has hung herself with him recently though thank God so I am hoping those days are over.

Or how could this man I trapped with pregnancy and then trapped AGAIN with another pregnancy after the divorce and 11 years after the first one not be on stand-by in case I run off my live-in? How dare he go on with his life, marry up, buy a beautiful home and live happier ever after?
I think our BM seriously thought my H would always be an option for her. Nope!

My DH's BM left him, slept with two married men, ruined their marriages and still has a hate on for DH. I truely believe BM is still in love with DH and her bitterness, need to fight in court and use the children as chess pieces are all related to one thing... her need to be in DH's life. I guess this is the only way she can still have contact with him... what is that saying "fine line between love and hate". They were married for 11 years and divorced for 12 years now, have 4 children together.