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DH family treat Skid different.

Dusty84's picture

Does any of your DH/DW/SO family treat your Skid different to your own bio kid with your SO. 

 

My DH brother came in from FLA last night after not seeing him since last year. The first thing he asked about was SS not  our DD. That he was so excited to see SS. We had SS for our normal Tuesday 3 hour visit last night, his brother rushed to our house from the airport just to spend time with SS before he left.  He was asking if we could ask BM to have him maybe a little longer. I was like no. It's late enough. She wouldn't let us anyway. He got here, sooo excited to see SS. Could stop saying he was so grateful and lucky he got to spend a little bit of time with him before SS left. I got really irritated because he only then interacted with DD as soon as SS left. He said nothing about her and really wasnt that fussed. Could take it or leave it. 

After they left I just put my daughter ot bed and then myself and just kept silent. Just totally blanked my DH. Just couslyn be bothered. 

young_step_mom's picture

This is one of my biggest fears with my in-laws. They are so up SS's ass that I fear they will be fearful of upsetting him. SIL had a kid almost 3 years ago though and they've treated her exactly like SS so it gives me hope for the future.  If not, I know my parents will definitely make up for any differences.

sunshinex's picture

DH's mom admitted she likes SD best of all her grandkids, so I just keep my son away from her. The rest of his family is great. My family treats them the same when around both of them, but definitely prefer my bio and don't keep it a secret except from DH/SD. 

 

Maxwell09's picture

I will be the first to admit that I love my SS different than how I love my BS. I am more affectionate to my BS than to SS in general. I am not an affectionate person, never have been not even to my DH really, but when my BS comes up to me and wants to sit in my lap and give me kisses and hugs, I respond. He is like his father and loves to be touching and together all the time. My SS was never like that and he has always preferred sitting and cuddling with DH. It never bothered me because like I said I am really not an affectionate person.

Areyou's picture

It’s individual preference and time with that individual. It might feel biased and unfair though so I get it.

notasm3's picture

BIL would be persona non grata in my home.  Zero in on his most vulnerable spot and destroy this ahole if he won't leave you alone.

Winterglow's picture

No offence intended but do you think you might be allowing your dislike of SS to colour your feelings a little?

I'd say that your BIL was happy to see him because the time with him was so limited and because it's easier for a childless guy to relate to a 3 yo little boy than to a (virtually) baby girl. I wouldn't read any more into it than that.

decofru's picture

Its probably because SS is DH's first born! BIL thinks of SS as his brother's first child and usually second borns and the rest are really not met with as much excitement and emotions. My in laws show no favouritism between my BS and SS except for MIL!!! I think it has to do with the fact that, she doesnt like me that much, she judged me before she even knew me, if it were her decision DH would have married a different woman. MIL loves SS to death and SS behaves like a brat when MIL is around. anyway MIL is an old lady who has nothing so its not like she comes to visit with gifts and candy for her favorite grandchild SS and nothing for my BS. I find comfort in that my BS has relatives who do so much for him (From my side, mum, sisters and aunts) and BS has a grandma who not only adores him so much but has the money to buy him toys, clothes, push chairs etc. My son has a grandma who is young and working! SS is the one jealous of BS because SS only gets affection from His dad, dad's mom only. BM and her family seem to forget he exists. BS has so much love and gifts from my sisters, aunts and mom and his cousins, I am so grateful he has so many caring relatives i dont take it for granted as living with SS has made me seee that some children do not have caring relatives! I also thank God for the love i have for BS and that i take my responsibility towards him seriously because i now know they are some mother's who fail to love their children and dont want to take any sort of responsibility for them!

NotCinderellasmom's picture

One of the things I was so excited about when I first got with Dh was a big family.I barely have family. NO parents. While we were dating he spent so much time with them. He and Sd seemed to have a great relationship. But once I had our kids he never wanted to visit. And I didn't know them well enough to just show up at their houses. MIL would come get Sd for holidays at their places but said my DD's are too young. Now 12 years later and my DD's don't even know they have a GRandmother (barely she sends Christmas presents)

ldvilen's picture

There's that famous saying from Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're going to get."  That even more-so applies to step- or blended families.  You can buy a big box of delicious looking chocolates, and then once you take a bite, realize it is stale.  The opposite, of course, can (rarely) happen, and everything inbetween.  The point is, you never know until you're in, and you never know when the bad-taste might come up.