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Divorcing.

Dusty84's picture

I guess I came to this forum too late. My DH has informed me he wants a divorce. 

 

He just says he cant see anything from my point of view and I'm tainted and hes embarrassed to be married to me . 

 

So I agreed. He wont listen to me at all and I'm tired of trying to get him to understand. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Embarassed by you??? Seriously??? What an azz! 

I know you are from the UK... can you get back and start over? It sounds like you are going to be much better off without him!

Dusty84's picture

Justmakingthebest. I cant just go back as my daughter is an American citizen. So I cant legally just leave with her. It would be international kidnapping. Its difficult when you cant pick up and go to a family members house and I'm always stuck with this side if the family and only their view. Which is obviously tainted by the fact they're all related to SS. 

DaniellaR's picture

You are currently married and if you have a passport, yes, you can go back home with your child. 

notarelative's picture

If your child does not currently have a US passport, both parents have to sign the passport application. 

The U.S. does not have exit controls and if your child has a UK passport you could leave with your child with that passport.

However, picking up and leaving is not recommended. Both the U.S. and the UK have signed the Hague Abduction Convention and removing the child from the U.S. without the consent of the father or the court would subject you to prosecution in the UK.

 

 

hereiam's picture

I am sorry that it has come to this.

I know there was obviously something that you loved about him and this is hard, especially with your own child in the mix, but your husband sounds like a jerk.

icanteven's picture

If he cannot see things from your perspective, then he probably treated you badly. I know this from experience. I know this is not easy for anyone, but I think he loses more than you do.

ndc's picture

You're tainted and he's embarrassed to be married to you?  Is that code for "you didn't worship my child"?

Dusty84's picture

I think you're right. That and I was honest about the situation. Hes been an utter jerk. 

SteppedOut's picture

You are better off not dealing with this nonsense. 

Does your doaughter have dual citizenship? If not you may want to look into that process if you might consider moving home. 

Dusty84's picture

I think she automatically has dual citizenship as I'm her birth mother from the UK. 

It's the custody situation that is the issue. I have to have his permission to have sole custody. Otherwise I fight it in court . 

justmakingthebest's picture

Time to start fighting. Offer generous visitation- Summers, holiday's, ect but have her primary residence with you in England. 

Winterglow's picture

I can confirm that she automatically has dual US-UK citizenship Smile My daughters were also born in another country with a foreign father.

marblefawn's picture

Terribly sorry to hear this. He's a fool. UK is glorious and I can't think of a better time to get out of the US! I like the advice from justmakingthebest. Do what you have to do. It might be hard to see it now, but everything's going to be OK.

notarelative's picture

Your daughter is an American citizen, but are you? I'm the queen of what if. If you're not a citizen, and have to stay here, you may want to see an immigration lawyer and discuss your options. In this climate I'd want to be sure that a vindictive ex (or someone in his family) could not jeopardize my residence status.