Hi everyone,

Today I came up with the decision I need to end my relationship. All this past year and a half, I've been trying and trying desperately to find balance, to find peace, and ways to deal with all this complicated situation. I have so much admiration for those of you who are able to manage their relationship within blended families, and keep having the strength, courage and love to make it work.

I'm exhausted. Despite all of my efforts and good intentions, I can't carry on anymore.

I do love my partner, I do love my step son, I love them so much but how can I be any good for them if I keep loosing myself in the process ? My self confidence has never been so low, everyday is a battle against emotional exhaustion. I don't even have enough strength anymore to just sit and talk, I'm running out of solutions.

I found out that my partner and his ex are still sending love messages to each other, they keep telling each other "I love you", and even though I tried to convinced myself this must only come from "friendship" and affection, it does affect me. Lately his voice has changed when they talk on the phone with her, a "tender" voice I never heard from him before. And after a year and a half without wanting to meet me, telling him she wants them to "love each other differently" she suddenly got in contact with me to say she would be happy to meet and have a talk.

Now I'm not perfect, I have my flaws, but I'm always trying my best to be compassionate, I've always respected her, the fact she needed time to accept me, the fact it must have been extremely hard for her to let him go. I did the same for my partner, I tried to understand that 12 years with her cannot be forgotten.

But I can't share his heart with another woman. Even though she a great person, even if she does try her best too.

All relationships with no exeption have their ups and down, I don't expect mine to be different. But suffering everyday is different. I believe I deserve to be honest with myself, and admit that I can't suffer anymore. Despite all the love I have for my partner and his son. I don't deserve to suffer.

I don't know how to announce it to him now, but I know I will someday soon. I just needed to share these thoughts with someone somewhere.