Relocating
I'm on my cell phone so this isn't going to be that long of an explination.
My husband's kids are the most evil assholes on the planet. One will be 18 in less than 6 months - we've got full custody of her. The courts, like always, constantly screw my husband. He has full custody - the parenting plan is set, yet his ex doesn't follow it and apparently doesn't have to because the court won't enforce it.
This is killing our marriage, his life is ruined by the constant chaos his two almost grown kids are constantly causing him.
He wants to relocate. Obviously, the parenting plan means NOTHING and there is no child support issued, nothing is set. His only obligation per say is to keep insurance on them. Which I am the holder of the medical insurance because his job is crazy expensive for their insurance.
So, with that being said, he wants to move to another state. His ex wife doesn't pay for her attorney (she's a slut....we will just leave it at that) and she takes us to court as often as she can because she thinks its hilarious to watch us barely be able to pay our bills and have to constantly be making payments to a attorney.
His thought is that if we move out of state, if she wants to go after him for cs for the other crotch critter, she's going to have to pay out the ass to get him back to this state to change the parenting plan and make that happen.
How hard is it for a parent to go after an out of state parent for child support? The other kid is about to turn 16, so there isn't much time left there either.
He's had custody of both of them up until last year, the younger one decided she wanted to go live with their mother and that's how it's been for the last year. Now it's just going buck wild again because they're the most insane, trashes bitches on the planet. He's fully supported his kids since they were 5 and they got the divorce. She still to this day won't even buy them clothes or reimburse for medications, and when she was told she would have to pay $250 a month in child support to us, she said she'd quit working before she ever paid. My husband did a downward deviation and agreed to no child support because he knew she was serious and it just isn't worth the fn headache.
So, tell me .... is his place to make it a pain in the ass on her and have to pay just as much as we would for court actually a possibility, or will the court like every other damn time, make it easy for her?
That last part should say "is
That last part should say "is his plan to make it a pain in the ass on her" on place lol
From what he was told, by a
From what he was told, by a friend, so it holds no water - if he moved, she would have to pay to get him served out of state
We have 2 years left to deal
We have 2 years left to deal with her, and in our state as long as you send in even $20 a month they don't go after the non payer. So it really just wasn't worth the headache. If it had been 10 years ago and he had all that time left, then yes, it would have been worth it. She's a special kind of crazy and we try to reduce the headache.
There is no support order currently, that's what I meant to address specifically. If she wants to go back to court at the end of this year but we have already relocated, he was told she'd have to actually pay SOME kind of legal fees to get him served out of state and it would cause her a little discomfort, to get him back before the judge. For us, we've accepted this - we are just sick and tired of spending $5-7500k a year on attorney fees a year while.she sits back and laughs. The objective isn't to avoid it, it's to make it a headache for her like she does to us constantly.
Because she is going to take
Because she is going to take him for child support on the 16 year old.
She won't agree to him just paying her for school clother and things that she needs - she says she "deserves" more. Even though shes never bought them anything .... but that's besides the point. His kids are delinquents who are constantly in trouble and this last week the soon to be 16 year old is now being looked for by the police because she apparently watched her friend get raped and refuses to talk to the police because the guy who is accused is their "home boy" and they refuse to snitch on him?? I don't know what the hell is going on, but we are both just done. We have a toddler and a newborn to try to protect from all of this. He's tried, and tried, and tried and his ex is a nut job, the kids are just like her despite his help.
The whole point is to have to make her finally pay for SOMETHING. She literally contributes $0 to their living. Nothing. We even had to pay for the soon to be 18 year Olds car and she refused to contribute $1000 for taxes......even though she had just stolen $1200 from the kid after she was an idiot and trusted her mother to hold on to her babysitting money she saved up for 2 summers.
This woman is evil and its just horrible to ALWAYS watch her break the parenting plan, do what she wants, tell the kids they don't have to listen to their dad, the police not be able to help, the judge tell him they're too old to get involved .... the soon to be 16 year old doesn't even stay at her mom's house, they all live at the soon to be 18 year Olds boyfriends mom's house. Which, they also said my hustand can do nothing about because "they're with another adult"
It's just FRUSTRATING.
She should have to have SOME kind of headache at some point. Because she literally just causes chaos. She doesn't even want the kids....she's made that clear to him. She was pissed off when we got married and it's been downhill since then. And she's remarried - has been since the day after their divorce was final.
I don't understand why she
I don't understand why she won't just take the $250 a month and leave us the hell alone. Instead, she intentionally wants to go to trial because she knows how much it costs us.
It's just insane. I don't know how men don't give up on everything. They never get a break from these evil women.
If He moves and the 16 year
If He moves and the 16 year old stays put so does the jurisdiction. So you moving means jack all to the court. He isn't going to get the court in His new state to take over when the kid is still in the old state. He will not be screwing her over at all. He may be able to telecommute to the court for hearings and all but at least while we were doing it, it was within the courts ability to turn that down and say nope, fly the 2K miles and show the hell up in person. Why does he think the court responsible will change?
We don't want the court
We don't want the court responsibility to change. I never once said anything about that.
My specific question was a basic one - will she have to pay to serve him out of state to get him back to our current state to come to court.
That's it. And apparently, she wont have to do that. So, at least our move will help our sanity to get away from this bs.
It may depend on the state,
It may depend on the state, but in my experience, no she will not have to pay to have him served. The COs my DH had required both parents to keep the court informed of their current addresses and the other parent as well. So when someone filed, the court simply sent it along. There was no service, I believe because it was family court, not criminal or civil. Not keeping the court informed would have led to a contempt charge and lack of response to the notification from the court would not have been helpful to us or a hindrance to BM in any way.
And I apologize, I misread
And I apologize, I misread that he thought she would have to pay to have the case transferred back to her court if he moved.
If I'm understanding you
If I'm understanding you correctly, part of the reason you want to move is so BM will have to pay to have your DH served notice for court. She may have to pay a process server, but she would have to do that if he was in state as well. In any case, the fee will be nominal.
Your moving is not going to hurt her financially, but it may hurt DH. If he has to appear in court he is going to have to pay travel costs.
Why does DH continue to pay all the extra costs? Pay the child support and be done with it. He needs to quit listening to all the "theys" and get information from reliable and official sources.
We are moving for his job, we
We are moving for his job, we don't have to move. They have a better pay opportunity in a new area. We WANT to move. We don't have to move.
It's impossible to prove kids aren't living with their parent, we've already tried that last time we were in court. It was a pointless attempt and they looked at it as him being "petty". He was trying to make the court have both kids remain under his custody because they are SO out of control, but it didn't help because they don't hold the parenting plan to any kind of seriousness. Even the judge who ordered the damn thing won't enforce it. It's insane.
And seriously, I said multiple times we are FINE with going to court. That isn't the issue!! We were just hoping she would at least have to pay SOMETHING out of pocket since she doesn't pay any attorney fees ever. Going to court isn't the problem!!!
He doesn't pay child support.
He doesn't pay child support. He has always had primary custodial custody.
The KIDS decided they don't want to live with him anymore because they don't have rules at their mothers - they do at our house. So, last year we went back to court.
He now has custody of the 17 year old, ex wife has custody of the soon to be 16 year old.
The 17 year old wrecked the $12k car he bought for her for the 2nd time within a couple months. She doesn't pay attention while driving. She texts, she speeds, she drives high. My husband told her the car is gone and she could drive it to and from work and that was it - absolutely nothing else. She got pissed off, packed her shit, moved back in with her mother because her mother told her she didn't have to listen to her father.
The court won't make the kid come back. The police can't make her come back. They said she's old enough they can't make her do anything. Even though we have the parenting plan .
They don't enforce ANYTHING on the parenting plan. She NEVER reimburses for what she's court ordered to, she doesn't provide what she's court ordered to. Never has, never will.
My husband doesn't have a child support order on him. Never has. HOWEVER the son to be 16 year old WILL NOT come back to him even 50/50 time because she doesn't want rules. She made that clear. So, she wants to live with her mother full time foever. Fine, good riddance.
We are OK with paying child support once the 17 year old is 18, and it will start for the soon to be 16 year old.THAT ISN'T A PROBLEM. We aren't trying to not give the whore anything for her asshole kids.
That isn't at all the issue and it shouldn't be brought up. That wasn't the question at all :/
Ok, just nevermind. No one is
Ok, just nevermind. No one is reading and keep making this a "why don't you want to go to court" issue.
So, the question wasn't read by hardly anyone. It was answered by one person. The question was answered. No more reason to reply. Because it's completely off base and doesn't make any sense why things that aren't applicable are being assumed when it was stated multiple times that he doesn't pay child support, we don't have a problem coming back for court, no one is trying to avoid going to court.
"They don't enforce ANYTHING
"They don't enforce ANYTHING on the parenting plan. She NEVER reimburses for what she's court ordered to, she doesn't provide what she's court ordered to. Never has, never will."
Keep records of all that you've paid out, that she hasn't reimbursed.
He will most likely have to pay CS for the 16 year old. Hopefully, you can show the courts what she owes you and the court will lower his amount to reflect that.
Don't count on it but it might help.
Then let it all go. There is nothing you do to control the skids or BM.