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Therapy??

Be11s's picture

I read about a lot of you ladies going to talk to someone to help you out with your step related stress. My question is, does it help? Do you leave feeling better about anything? How did you find the right person to talk to? Are there therapists that deal specifically with step situations?

I am at the end of my rope. I am irritated or angry every single day. I wake up and the first thought of SD makes me livid. I can't stand her. As she grows older she becomes more and more of a thorn in my side...however, I KNOW THIS IS MY PROBLEM. My husband does ok with her, with the discipline and all that...she's just an annoying human being in every way! I'm sure much of my resentment has to do with BM too..they look alike, talk alike, etc etc..yet she lives with us full time.

I need serious help or my marriage is going to fall apart. Leaving is not an option. Please tell me about your experiences with therapy...and if it helped?

Those of you with older SK and have been in the game a while...does it just get worse and worse???

I do not like having so much stress and hate in my heart.

I feel like every day all I can think about is that SD is ruining my happy life. I don't want to think like that. I just want to be happy.

Sweet Olive's picture

I feel the exact same way as you do. I learned in therapy that part of the reason I don't have those feelings of maternal love for my SD12 is because we never bonded. Parents bond with children between the ages of newborn-3, so when an older kid enters your life, there is a huge missing piece. My SD was 7 when my DH and I were married. Her personality was already formed, values, habits, etc. I am learning to accept the limitations of our relationship. It is very difficult for me and almost impossible for my DH to understand, which only makes me feel more lonely. When she is with us (not full time, thank goodness), I try to get my space and carry on with my day. I do it with a lot of underlying frustration and annoyance, but carry on anyway. I am simply thankful to know I am not alone in my feelings. I thought I was a bad person for feeling this way, come to find out it means I'm normal. I can live with that. I hope this helps. I struggle daily, some days are better than others. As long as I do not give in to my resentment, frustration, annoyance, etc. I can at least feel good about my restraint and self control.