Heard from Attorney - TBX Wants Me to Give Him
his life expenctancy in the house I have down there! HA,HA,HA,HA!! Seems the lawyer he got, you know, just to go over the paper work, told him he was entitled to a portion of it. NOPE. Yes, the house is mine. It was purchased through my Inheritence/Trust, thus it really belongs to my trust, but same thing.
Attorney just had to ask and get some information about the ownership etc. and my Son-in-Law is giving him the details.
Hey, he has his social security and some savings so he is not destitute and I am offering to give him alimony so to speak.
Made me think of the time when we lived close to his TWIT and she was acting up at me and trying to get us to promise her, in writing, certain things. No way was I going along with that. But I did express concern to TBX about what all was going to transpire when he passed due to the way she was acting Not a nasty comment as he is some 7 years older than me. I remember being both shocked and disturbed by his remark: "I don't know", he said, "I'm not going to be here" !!!!!!
Now I have my DD, but that would be in the time that would transpire between his passing, funeral, etc. She was definately showing, IMHO, intent to ramsack the place to get what she wanted, whether she had a right to it or not.
You know, as I recall that, I often wonder why TBX never said that I didn't have to worry, he would have a talk with her and set her straight about things." Just to give me peace of mind. I wonder know if he may have felt that she was entitled to things as I had been fooled, by him, into moving closer to her (NOTE: Had no clue what she was then) as she had the time to help him and I out as we aged.
Now I start wondering if that
Now I start wondering if that was the plan all along. Get me down there, clean me out. (By clean me out I mean that when TBX passed Twit would sweep in and haul out everything she felt was Daddy's, plus.
I do hope I am over reacting in thinking that right now. This is a very emotional time and sometimes it is hard to think clearly. Which is why I am so glad I have my DD, SIN, GD and SCULLY! (Grandson too, but he's away at college)
Ugh. If he doesn't take your
Ugh. If he doesn't take your offer and tries to fight for more, then I hope you fight back and pull the offer of alimony. Personally, I don't think he should be getting that!
My generous offer has a
My generous offer has a deadline. After that it is only based on what my personal income is (SS, pension) and nothing more. The other is actually out of bounds and he can't get to it. Based on that our incomes are ot that far off, lhis s.s. is more, but my penions is more as he took a hit in that crash in 2008. Recovered quite a bit of it, but not all..
And NO he is not getting the use of the house for his life expectancy. Probably expects me to pay the utilities and taxes et al. while he is there too.
FWIW, DD, SIL and I all had a good laugh out of that one.
Don't think he has gotten himself a very good lawyer either. Some of these guys look to try to blow up a situation, except my situation, financially, is blow-up proof.
Wearing You Down
SDM, I think this is a ploy to wear you down and create confusion. He can ask all he wants, and it can be outrageous, but YOU know what he is entitled to. Call his bluff. If he loses out it will be on him. I can't BELIEVE you are having to give this man alimony!!!
My EXH tried to get more out of me, and made threats, "I'll take you to court." I said, "Fine." We went to court and he got less than he would have if he had been more cooperative. No pity for self-inflicted wounds.
Not a lot, if he takes the
Not a lot, if he takes the original offer, but enough to get him out of my life. Once the deadline is hit, offer gone and then the court decides. Since my inheritance cannot be touched, he is gonna be OFL.
Also, as tends to be the case
Also, as tends to be the case with women, my SS is lower than his is, as is my pension due to time out of working due to child rearing and just wages for women in general. The case COULD be made, based on that, that he should pay me to balance it off. Wouldn't that bite him in the butt.
I think it was a mistake for
I think it was a mistake for you to leave and let him stay in your home. If he had been the one to be given notice and asked to leave then he would have no claim to ask for this. It can be rectified by claiming that you feared for your safety because of Twit and that's why you left and he stayed. I recall there were some times that you did feel threatened by her.
I have heard of women having to buy a man out even if he had no ownership in a home. One lady I knew of had a fiance who did lots of work on the house. Kind of a trade for living there. When they broke up she was ordered to give him the value of time and materials that he had put into the home plus some. You're probably going to have to give him something just to get him to leave. No way should he get life expectancy. Isn't that for someone who is a widow(er)? Just imagine him moving twit in and living blissfully until he passes away. By then twit will be claiming rights!
Is there any reason you can't give him notice and put the home on the market now?
He is not living in my home
He is not living in my home down there. I threw him out months before I went to stay with DD because of his antics. For a while hemoved to a motel until that got too expensive for him. Not my problem.
I really believe I tried my best in the marriage but, well I just could never be comfortable with his crazy daughter lurking around and putting her carp.
Remember, the first year or so we moved down there she showed up, unannounced at the gate (my home is in a gated community so even TBX cannot get in). The guard called me and I said NO to admitting them. So, here comes TBX, home from getting a hair cut and they see him. The jerk brings them into my safe space. Then, they wanted to stay because hotels in the area ARE expensive!? THAT was a big NO land I recall TBX was "disappointed" with my response on the matter.
Glad to hear that STBX is not
Glad to hear that STBX is not resding in your home now. It needs to be made clear to ex and his lawyer that that is YOUR home and your primary residence, staying with DD is a temporary situation for your safety. I have no idea what your intentions are for the home but that's none of ex's or his lawyers business.
My guess is that the attorney
My guess is that the attorney is advising him to go after part of the house. Some attorneys aren't really interested in "fair" settlements - they want to WIN BIG for their client.
Tog - That is so true.
Tog - That is so true. Fanning the flames, so to speak equals big money to some lawyers.
I am so happy to hear that he
I am so happy to hear that he and TWIT have no hold over the proprty, no matter what his silly lawyer thinks...is the deadline looming? I know it's probably a terrible thing to say, but I hope in all of their greed they actually miss it *diablo*
Just Wow! As others have
Just Wow! As others have said, it is readily apparent that STBX had a bunch more to do with creating the TWIT than originally thought.
I am so happy that you have the support base of your family that you have and a killer attorney.
The end is near. I can't wait to hear the post STBC/TWIT stories of your peaceful life and adventures.
You know, Rags....towards the
You know, Rags....towards the end of this mess, with the counseling down there et. al, I was really starting to have some questions about what was really going on.
Of all his children, she was the only one looking for FREE stuff all the time. She did it (she bragged about it) with her husband's parents - about how when they had a garage sale she went around taking everything she wanted. Her husband's older sister told her that she should give the parents something for all the stuff she was taking (mine you she takes the BEST only). She bragged that her FIL had told her she didn't need to give him anything. THAT is not what the SIL said to me. They had to keep her out of the home when the Father passed because the SIL was concerned about her cleaning it out. As I say, she has a reputation. Her SIL (Twit's husband's oldest sister) made it clear that since SHE was the executrix of the estate, Twit could purchase what she wanted at the auction - thus proceeds from property, etc., would be divided among them. I do so recall the Cretin belittling her SIL about being greedy because she had set these parameters.
And now, as I re-read some of my journals, I see that I wrote down that STBX agreed with Twit that the SIL was being terrible! WTH!
It sends shivers down my spine when I think that I really have have missed the bullet with those two.
Here is one of the best
Here is one of the best examples I can think of about Twit's greed. When we sold our car, she was looking for a more economical car than her Honda Odessy (sp?) and her FATSO also was looking for a good, well running car.
We decided to offer it to them for what we would get as a trade in value, which was, of course, less than the car was worth on the market. Anyway, the first thing she says is that since the car only got 35 miles to the gallon it didn't help her out. Okay. But her son needed a car and he just didn't have the amount we wanted for the car (hint.....give it to him for less or free.) Then she wanted me to finance it to him if he didn't have the full amount. I said no, she could lend him the money and let him pay her back. She didn't want to do that, but it is such a NICE CLEAN well taken care of car (the tires were relatively new, good brakes, well maintained, etc). TBXH was kind of listening to her cajoling but I would have none of it.
When it played out that FATSO couldn't even get behind the wheel of the car that didn't play out. AND, he did have enough money to pay our asking price even though Twit claimed no.
So, later that eveing Twit calls back...."Do you still have the car or is it gone already?". It was gone and I am glad. She was playing Daddee to try to get the car for free. TBX felt bad until I reminded him that she came right out and said that slhe didn't gain anything in mileage.
Actually, I was estatic that it worked out that way because had something gone wrong with the car in the rest of its history she would have been bad mouthing us about sellingher a lemon etc. She was pushing and looking for FREE for herself and/or her babies.
My FIL did this to his BIL.
My FIL bought a truck from the estate of his BIL's (MIL's sister's husbad) father. The truck was a 20+yo farm truck that was in very good shape but was well used.
18mos later the drive train of that truck went out and FIL attempted to get his money back on the truck or to get his BIL to pay for the repairs. My FIL was always extremely hard on his vehicles and equipment. Then would get all butt hurt and don his victim hat with full commitment to being taken advantage of by whoever sold him the equiptment regardless of how long ago FIL had purchased the equipment or how old the equipment was.
Some people..........
I would say that you dodged a bullet by selling the vehicle to someone other than the TWITster's clan.
I grow increasingly excited for you as the end of that phase of your life progresses.
Be good to you. They will all soon be out of your life completely.
Not soon enough, IMHO
Not soon enough, IMHO
Lol,
Lol,
Isn't that the truth?
Fortuntely for me I am long past the purge of my XW and XILs from my life and have avoided having to go through it again.
The thought of a repeat is terrifying.
Your recovery is tangible and you are an inspiration for so many.
Take care of you.
He still has not signed off
He still has not signed off on the decree and the clock is ticking.....tick, tock, tick, tock
?????
So what will happen if he doesn't sign? From what I gather he will lose a lot. What a piece of work!!
If he doesn't sign, well he
If he doesn't sign, well he loses big time. The only thing the court can base for income etc. would be our social secuirty, pensions, savings. An inheritance cannot be pulled into a divorce as something to split since it was never comingled, kept and set up years ago, before TBX by my Mother.
Based on that, there probably isn't a lot of difference so it would probably be a wash.....he gets to keep his SS etc., I get to keep mine. In his state, I am not certain that he realizes this and I, and my attorney, have "questions" about the lawyer he has. But, not our problem.
SIL and DD took me aside the other day and told me not to feel bad about him and what he is doing, it is HIS decision to make. I have been quite fair. Far more so that he has been to me in this TWIT fiasco.
You are being MORE than fair,
You are being MORE than fair, offering him alimony! What has he done to "deserve" alimony, or for you to even offer It?
Yet, he wants more than your GENEROUS offer (considering HIS TERRIBLE treatment of you while married).
I hope the clock DOES run out on your EXTREMELY GENEROUS offer and he gets NOTHING, which is what he truly deserves!
Me Too!
I hope he doesn't get anything either and hope the clock runs out. He deserves it. Of course, you know he will wait until the last minute to sign - just to assert what he thinks is his dominance over you. Oh, just think of the day of reckoning - when he realizes how much he really lost, and Twit won't want to have anything to do with him because he won't have enough money to satisfy her. By the way things are going, it looks like he took up for Twit because they were so much alike. The apple really didn't fall far from the tree.
You are at the very cusp of freedom, SDM. This is the hardest part but you know it won't be long. (((HUGS)))
The longer this drags out,
The longer this drags out, the more like TWIT he becomes. Gimme gimme gimme......feel sorry for me...... yada yada yada.
Repeat
Repeat