So ssil has invited dh out for a guy function. Huge step between the two of them and I'm glad about it. I'm nervous though that osd may have some plan to get ssil bad-mouthing me to dh on her behalf. Ssil initially was great, referred to me as him mil as much as bm and also referred to me as grandma-disillusioned to sgc.

And as often as her referred to me as mil, sd would refer to me as 'dad's wife'. And when ssil referred to me as grandma-disillusioned to sgc sd would emphasize each time Disillusioned. Dh and fil would refer to me as grandma-disillusioned to sgc and sd would continue to refer to me Disillusioned. Eventually I felt hurt when ssil followed sd's lead and did the same.

Totally fine with me. Told dh that if sd chooses to have me simply grandpa's wife to sgc, that is her choice, and I will respect it.

I think sd figured out that not only was I going with it, but ya, I was absolutely nothing more to her than dad's wife and nothing much to her son either

She has now had a change of heart for some reason and refers to me as grandma-disillusioned to scg...but I am under no illusion of course that she will not in any way encourage her child to ever think of me even so much as his step-grandma let alone grandma...perhaps she just realized that if I go with what she sends messages to me she really wants, that perhaps sgs loses out too and she doesn't want that

Still don't put it past her to use ssil to start something up when he see dh...some agenda, drama, or sneaky thing with her