This will be a long one......
:jawdrop: Well first off,I'm 37 and my fiance is 48.We've been together 4 years and engaged for 2 of those.I have 3 kids,2 girls 14 and 15 and one son 17.Fiance has 3 kids also,2 sons 21 and 23 and a daughter 25.My fiance and I moved in together and 2 weeks later his grown sons moved in with us.Each of my children had their own room,and for my son this was a first,since I was a single mom and could only afford 3 bedrooms.He was excited to say the least.So the 2 grown stepsons move into his room.(They were living with their grandma until she asked them both to pay $200.00 a month rent)That's why they moved in with us.They didn't want to pay rent,I know this because the 21 year old told me that.Fiance never asked them to pay rent with us.It wasn't long before the stepsons started bossing my kids around,telling them what they should eat,what they should clean.I told fiance,he told them to stop.After a year the 21 year old moved back into his own mothers house and pays $200.00 a month rent.Now the 23 year old still lives here.He's been arrested 3 times,each time daddy bailed him out,payed his attorneys fee's and whatever other bills he had.When he came here we told him no drugs in the house,after a month of living here I found drugs in his room,caught him smoking dope on the back porch.Another rule we have is no friends in the house when we aren't home.We had to go out of town for our job...My 14 was here late one night so I told her,go in my room and lock the door until my son gets home.The 23 year old comes into OUR bedroom with his GF and tells my daughter to go to her own room so he and his GF CAN HAVE OUR BED!He had no job or car when he moved in so his dad let him use his new truck.Wich put us in a bind because we only had my car to use to get back and forth to work.He never payed the insurance or for the flat tire that he got while driving it.He used his dads truck to deal drugs with.He bums money off his dad like he's 12!Now he has a job and a car,but he can't afford the $200.00 month rent,yet he can buy drugs and beer and whatever else he wants.He busts into our room like he owns it,never knocks.I caught him going through our dresser looking for money and when I confronted him for it he asked my if I had the money to give him for a 40!He posts crap on facebook about my kids,for everyone to read.I was single for 7 years with my kids and I struggled but I made it happen,managed to pay the bills barely but they were paid.I waited 7 years to find a man that I thought would be good for my kids,not knowing that his grown son would make me lose so much respect for him.I thought typing this would make me feel better but now I'm SMOKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to either get them
You need to either get them out of the house, or move out yourself. Your kids shouldn't be around that. They are your first priority here.
This is why we haven't
This is why we haven't married and I refuse to marry him as long as his son is still living here.Really threw a wrench in my plans.Thanks.
Flippinexhausted, I'm sorry
Flippinexhausted, I'm sorry your goin thru that, I would be steaming mad as well!! Why can't this 23 year old get a job?! I myself am 23 and work full time, have my own home that I pay for, and my own car that I pay for!! That's pathetic that he takes advantage of you and his dad that way, and that his dad allows it!!! All I'm thinking is, is his dad a bad father?! He has kids, and you have young kids there!! There is NO WAY my BF son (if his son were that age) would come into my home, with drugs, no income to help us, and kick my kid out of MY room to have sex?!!! Are you friggin joking?! That kid would have been packing his bags and on the street! Doesn't he have any loser dope friends he can stay with?! That is NOT a suitable enviornment for you and your kids!! And I would make it clear to your fiance that he can be with you and your family, but he cannot allow his son to stay there and mooch, bring drugs into your home and be disrespectuful to your children!!
I was sooooo,not joking about
I was sooooo,not joking about him trying to nail his GF in my bed,and everytime I think about it,I want to throw up.There's even more to this story,I could seriously go on for pages,if you think that one was bad,the others would freak you out!He has a p/t job now,but still can't pay rent,has to buy beer and weed you know.His BM has no idea the crap he's done,tho,I don't think she would care.Thanks for responding.
Totally intolerable. If your
Totally intolerable. If your fiance won't address this, then you do need to get out of there--for yourself and for your own kids. You need to be safe in your own house, and having a bully with drugs around is NOT safe for any of you.
I agree
I agree
Flippinexhausted . . is this
Flippinexhausted . . is this the SS you want to hook up with my lazy SD (26)? Good grief!
SS needs to pay rent or move out period. He used your bed as a display of disrespect. If he wants to drink/drug he should do it under his own roof . .that HE pays for. And the stuff regarding facebook is childish and petty. DH needs to put his foot in his a!@.
My DH also has a bad habit of not setting SD straight. She thinks cleaning up behind herself means leaving dishes in the sink for 2 days and washing them when she gets to them. This is the ONLY chore she has mind you.
The other night I put my foot down and told DH that if she's still living here for her 28th b-day next year, I'm moving out. I don't have to tolerate this BS nor do I have to accept living in a pig sty.
Toss him out or move yourself
Toss him out or move yourself and your kids out temporarily. This is a safety issue, especially if your SS is bringing people you don't know into the home while you or your husband aren't home. If he's bringing drugs into the home, you can always call the police and they will remove him.