We have a room for each kid now, but we didn't always. 

You do need to give her a since of personal space in the new home though. Consider bunk beds or 2 twins to fit in the bigger of the kids rooms for your BD and SD. She should have her own dresser and space in the closet as well. 

I honestly don't blame her for being upset that she is regulated to a couch when she comes over. 

Why is he still Paying for his 2 older kids? 

If he won't explain about limited resources, I suggest you do straight away because his avoidance is just throwing you under the bus. She's old enough to understand. 

It's not your responsibility to pay for space for his kids. 

It's not your job to provide her with a bedroom. If dad wanted her to feel at home, he would sort out his finances and contribute to the buying of a bigger house. He's not and he didn't. 

I think kids should have a room to live in when they come for visitation.. that does not mean it is their dedicated "own room" with no other purpose.  I don't think they should be sleeping on couches..in living rooms etc... 

So.. my solution would have been to put two beds in your daughter's room and the two girls would share a room.

My SD's shared rooms at our house even though it was only a few days a month.. they had a room.

Now.. of course... your DH should have been able to assist in making sure that the home was big enough for everyone to have a private or at least semi-private shared bedroom.  I am assuming he is contributing something to your home payments as rent that should have made it more affordable.

I realize that if you are already pointed towards closing that the options are slim to find a different home.. which probably should have happened.  Is there anywhere in that home that is private.. maybe an office or other space that might provide her with a bedroom if sharing with your daughter isn't an option?

I'd lose respect for my partner if they weren't trying to figure out how to give their kid a bed, at the very least, and explain to the kid why they don't get a separate bedroom.

I feel bad for SD and can't blame her reaction. I'd be pissed if my dad seemingly bought a new house with a new partner and her kids get rooms while I'm still stuck on a couch. Doesn't matter if my mom is a mile away. It sends the message that I'm not really part of my dad's family, and it would be SUPER easy to walk away from a place that I don't feel wanted.

Why are you okay, as a parent, with your FH treating his daughter this way?

It only makes sense that the girls should be sharing a room.  I don't really understand why this is even a question?  Have dad buy her a twin bed and a dresser for her belongings and call it a day.  

I agree, this SD being relegated to the couch is not right and must make her feel like an afterthought. And the dad is not handling this well.

OP, you're engaged to this man, but haven't sorted out the financial side of your relationship yet. Why is that?

The two of you should be comfortable discussing finances and planning for the future. Please protect yourself and your bios, and don't pay more than your share of expenses.

I think I have the unpopular opinion here. Unfair of him to expect SD to have her own room when he moved into YOUR rental. Obviously he knew the space before he chose to move it. With the new house, I would try to think of a compromise. Have the girls in one room with a trundle or two twin beds? It's EOW so I absolutely think your should not devote an entire room that will be used FOUR DAYS out of an entire month. It's just not reasonable or a smart use of space. 

I would also keep in mind how your BD feels about this. She probably doesn't want to feel intruded on or like she has no choice. Have BD be part of arranging the room, picking out her OWN dresser, etc. 

If BD and SD prefer to be apart (which is a big possibility), then I would let her choose the Murphy bed. That way you aren't "forcing her" to stay away from everyone else. Keep everyone's opinion valued and present the two options. 

I think the room in the basement is a great idea. I feel strongly that a skid with regular visitation should not be relegated to a couch, but that's a good alternative.  We have the skids 50/50, and in anticipation of our DD being born we moved SD7 to a room in the basement (which is a walk-out basement).  She chooses to sleep upstairs with SD5 in SD5's room a lot of the time, but likes having her room to play in and have friends over.  Since we have 3 bedrooms and 3 kids, the only way to give each child a bedroom was to use space in the basement.

I'm concerned that you're picking up more than your share of housing costs because of your fiance's obligations to his prior family. What is he doing to earn more/improve his financial position? Picking up a partner's slack can eventually make one feel used and lead to resentment. I'd work that out before you marry him.

Right now they do, but if we move and there aren't enough bedrooms for them to have their own, they will have to share. They are only here 4 days a month max, so we essentially have two bedrooms that sit empty most of the time. We're able to do that now, because we live so far from work, but we both want to move and real estate is much more expensive closer to our jobs. I think Skids should have a room they can sleep in, rather than the couch. It doesn't have to be their own personal space all the time, but they should have a space where they can sleep on an actual bed. 

If he wants his his DD to have her own room. Then he finds another job to pay the $100,000 more for her bedroom.  Because he lazy and is happy not having money, it's not your problem where SD sleeps. As long as she is out of your way in the morning.  Or she gets up when you get up. You are not paying for your SO , DD.  That your SO responsible, not yours.  Not your problem not your worries,  

SD will never like you,  You destroyed her Hsppy Family,  not BM or her BF 

You are asking a unfair question, most BF pay there share in the new home, not like your SO

I feel my response will be mosly off topic. SS is with us 100% of the time so he of course has a room here (plus the fact he's a teen now, and that I have a daughter). He sleeps on the couch or in the storage room when he visits his mom though.

We had just one so accommodating him was not difficult.  His mom, my DW, was the CP and had full physical and legal custody while the NCP had 7wks of visitation per year (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring) though winter break would alternate between even and odd years and might be shorter or longer than a week.

It was the Spermidiot that had the issue of accommodating SS on visitation.  Sadly, when he was a young boy while the Spermidiot had the partner of the month, many with several non related kids, SS would have to sleep on the floor, was brutalized by the children of Spermidiot's live in of the month, etc....  We had to have our attorney blast them with several stern letters outlining the upcoming court battle if they did not knock that crap off.  It was at that point that SpermGrandHag took SS and all visitations from then on SS would stay with her and SpermGrandPa in his own room.  Eventually, as the Spermidiot spawned three more also out of wedlock children with two other baby mamas, the three younger ones ended up living full time at SpermGrandHag's while her idiot son continued to live rent free in one of his parent's rental properties.  They paid his CS for two of the four spawn as well. Skids certainly need to be flexible to get through the visitation years without major baggage.

Over the years we lived in places as small as 2BR apartments to large homes of 6BRs.  It is when we had the biggest house that we obtained guardianship over my SIL (DW's youngest sib) who lived with us for a year.  

Regardless of the size of the home, IMHO it is resident children that get priority for rooms. In situations where there are not sufficient BRs for each kid to have their own, visiting kids get put where they will fit.  Trundle beds, bunk beds, Murphy beds in a study, pull out sofa beds, Aerobeds where ever they will fit on the floor, etc....   The key is to minimize the impact on the flow and lives of those in the home, keep the visiting kids reasonably comfortable, and to be able to get the temp beds out of the way quickly.

To make this happen just as import as having beds for each kid, a wake up and bedtime schedule has to be complied with by everyone.

Do not settle for a home of less quality than you want and do not over buy for a temporary problem that can be overcome with reasonable accomodation and efficient scheduling.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.